Story time with uncle Dave

the make believe home, in the make believe world, of this make believe AFL player, and the poor young maidens soon became aware of this and cried out for...........................

....rescue from this silly place by a REAL MAN driving a HOLDEN UTE with the Bull bar, big mud flaps and.........

....wide chrome wheels,with huge nuts and....

with the mandatory great ugle mut in the back the will.............

...where the dog actually looked and smelled better than the driver and did not drink as much.......

red coona stuff, favoured by many of those residents of the south east states.........

.....but the dog, in true Ute-Dog fassion, did like childeren. They could be raw, roasted, or..........

57 big bad bearded, Harley riding Coffin Cheaters who didn't give a stuff if it was cab sav or vinegar,all they wanted was............

a boozeup and to win over the 2 maidens that are still hanging around the ute while................

.....the dog calculated which parts of the Coffin Cheaters would taste the best if he were to.......

...catch them bare-bummed whilst having their wicked way with the lovely maidens, who were finally getting.........
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,{Can I get away with that?)


HMMMMM? I will allow it this time because of its eloquence :D
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..would have prefered them with a nice Chianti, but as none was available at the time, simply opened his huge slavvering jaws and prepared to.....

bite the bugger on the bum, when all of a sudden.......

......Sopt realised that Roger's buttocks were truly too revolting to bite, even for a real pig-hunting, cat chewing ute-dog. He saw the errors of his ways, renounced his past life, became a lacto-vegetarian and set off to juin a Comune in.......

...Nimbin, where he was last seen wandering off into the bush,full of funny mushrooms and with a look of complete happiness on his face.(Oh happy daze). Then it happened. A........

....Feral Female ute-dog once known as Sheryl but now known as something quite un-pronounceable and very Indian sounding wandered out of the bushes and sugested that they........

get together and have lotsa puppies with strange unpronoucable names and spread...................

their horrible litter far and wide. But Bruce the local (this is my patch) Blue Heeler had other ideas and..........

the ultimate sin by crapping in front of the truck, causing it to skid and....



(I own two Bluey's, and I'm on their side!)

...a large, hairy truck driver who was so impressed with the retention powers of his Bonds undies that he....
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.Did the heeler die of food poisoning? :D Only joking! I simply could not resist, sorry!:rolleyes:

........ realised that more than a mouthful is realy a waste so .......

he spat on the road, cursed the healer, got back in the cab of his Mack and.......

......... hit the air starter. The engine of his Thermodyne (Mack Truck) roared into life whereupon he jamed the monster into gear and she (the truck) moved on rubber feet. But alass he a bloody mess of it and ...............

... the trailer slid into the table-drain.......
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A Mack Thermodyne! Now theres a truck!

narrowly missing the two lovely young maidens who had being resting there after.................

...wetting themselves with laughter from watching the truck driver as he......

....... spat, yelled, gear jammed and quarrelled with the blue healer. This was, to the pair of bodacious babes, at the least a timely distraction from the self-indulgence and gratification of.
............

........the clean-up operation needed after all the frivolity caused by watching an overloaded Big Mack as it had skidded down the road. What they really needed now was........

something a little more gentle and satisfying than big hairy truckies who can,t drive, running down ugly dogs,that roam all over the highway causing absolute mayhem, so they set off down the road to find..............

...a quiet Cafe where they could get a decent Coffe and something quite delectable to.........

...........suck on and keep there interest in the original idea which involved lots of writhing and moaning with .................

maybe some horny woodturners with their nice long and sharp gouges (I nearly said tools!)...

but no. It was not to be, for just then......

...from out of the dark and dank woods alongside the road a strange little, wizened figure emerged. Blinking shortsightedly in the glare from the big Macs' headlights.it spoke. " I am the phantom wood carver and I am here to........"

.....escort you to a place where you can .......

......... be skillfully carved by me", said the Phantom Carver. "For I not only have the skills and expertise to carve both of you buxom lassies in just one sitting, but I can also do it .........."

with minimum chipout and maximum titillation...

....in my sumptuosly apointed, air-conditioned, outdoor carving studio complete with king-size.........

carving tools, for the big bits and ..............

...fully automated, heated, vibrating, candle-lit.........