Story time with uncle Dave

bathing daily in rancid yaks' milk, which did wonders for their complexions, but not so much for their love lives, which is why...

they will never enjoy the delights of our two nubile young ladies who, having been totaly ingnored over the past weeks are determined to make a return to popularity by...........

...taking leave of the ponging pings and making their way back to Oz to look up their old friend....

very large turned salt & pepper grinders while..............

..yelling at the top of his voice,"Come 'ere me little beauties and let me put some spice in your lives!" But unfortunately he had forgotten that.......

He had left his cyclonic dust extractor on last time he filled his salt and pepper grinders which caused .....

axial rotation imparted by

the amazing Coriolis Force, an apparent force that, as a result of the earth's rotation, deflects moving objects (such projectiles or air currents) to the right in the northern hemisphere and to the left in the southern hemisphere. Most noticable when playing snooker and the ball diverts from track just at the last second and fails to fall into the pocket. Colloquially called, 'Corrie'.

The head of the man in Wayne's avatar is infact spinning with Corrie - this is only to be expected from the Ozzie Cyclone Guru.

If Wayne were to reverse the rotation of the man's head he would need more power to counteract Coriolis force and this could ............

mean rotating in ever diminishing circles until finally..........

turning into a cork screw and screwing....................

....our two lovely ladies, one after the other, until they popped their corks!
.
(Its time to stop beating around the bush, to coin a phrase, and get to the point of this long, turgid and sometimes ridiculous tale of sex and intrgue)
.
So after resting for a short while our hero (hero!!) decided that the time had come to........

fingernails and nether regions by scraping the muck out with ........

a well sharpened parting tool, which, sadly, sliped and with considerable pain, parted his..........

index finger at the first knuckle, thus making it very difficult to..........

.....pick his nose. Also he found that he could no longer....