That's how the fight started

I got the idea for this thread from Open Slather, I don't see why it can't be continued here (as long as we keep it clean).


A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And that's how the fight started ...

A couple were sound asleep, when a loud clatter from outside startled them awake.

"Quick, It must be my husband," she cried.

The bloke leapt out the window and streaked down the drive, tripping over the cat that'd knocked the bin over. A few minutes later, he struggled back in through the window...

"I AM your husband," he roared.

"Then why were you running?" she snapped back.

And that's how the fight started... :p

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.
I bought her some bathroom scales.
And that's how the fight started ....

I was driving along and accidentally hit a car, we pulled over and a dwarf hops out of the car, he says 'Im not happy!' so i respond, 'Then which one are you?' and thats when the fight started...

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 100 K's, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.' My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'
And that's how the fight started....

The wife came into the lounge room "I want to get bigger breasts and it's going to cost $15000."
"No way, we don't have that sort of money. Wait here"
Off he went and came back a minute later. "Here try this"
"What is it?"
"Toilet paper"
"How is that going to make anything bigger?"
"Well it's done wonders on your butt"
And that's when the fight started...

A soldier returned from Europe after WW2, with a foreign bride. She spoke little English, but they got along well.

One day, she was ailing, and he suggested she visit a doctor while he was at work.

When he returned home that evening, she was seated on the sofa, with bruises everywhere. He asked her, "What happened to you?"

She replied, "Well, I visited the doctor, and he said he needed a specimen. I asked our neighbor, 'What is a specimen?' She said, "Pee in the bottle." I told her to s**t in her hat, and that's when the fight started."

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'
'No,' she answered.
I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'
So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
And that's when the fight started ....

The wife was whinging why the lawnmower had been dead for three weeks and why i hadn't fixed it.
Told her between the pub and the shed etc there was just not enough time.
Came home from work the next arvo and she must have been trying make a point because she was on her knees in the backyard,cutting the lawn with a little pair of nail scissors.
I went inside and got a toothbrush and went back out to her.
She asked why the toothbrush and i told her she could sweep the driveway after she finished the lawn.
That is when the fight started.

My wife walked into the lounge & asked "Whats on the TV?" I replied "Dust".
And that's how the fight started.....

SWMBO said she had to buy another bottle of her favourite perfume. "Didn't I buy a big bottle just last September?"
"well yes, but that's what happens when you use it"
I thought I'd be clever and hide half the new bottle and cut it with turps, and that's when the fight started...

While I was away before Easter, SWMBO rang asking for the key to my shed, which she never found. Next time she rang to say she got into the shed and not to worry about the mess in the garage, she had to rumage through a few tools and toolboxes to find one to open the shed.
I said I hoped it wasn't the corner of a Colen Clenton square the she used... and that's how the fight started (true story)

Cheers
Michael

I asked my wife if she wanted to go to Hawaii or Africa for a holiday. She said Hawaii so I said I would go to Africa...

and thats how the fight started

Last year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....

My wife and I were going out for the evening and she
said she wanted to be seen in something "brown and flowing"
... so on the way I threw her into the Yarra River.

And that's how the fight started.

Allan

The wife came out of the bedroom wearing her new negligé and asked "what would you say to something sexy and alluring tonight?"

"I'd say 'No thanks, I'm married.'"

And that's when the fight started.