Quick Thinking

Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's apartment when Paddy Murphy loses £500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue playing standing up.

Michael O'Conner looks around and asks, "Oh, me boys, someone got's to tell Paddy's wife. Who will it be?"

They draw straws. Paul Gallagher picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse.

"Discreet??? I'm the most discreet Irishmen you'll ever meet. Discretion is me middle name. Leave it to me."

Gallagher goes over to Murphy's house and knocks on the door.

Mrs. Murphy answers, and asks what he wants.

Gallagher declares, "Your husband just lost £500, and is afraid to come home."

"Tell him to drop dead!", says Murphy's wife.

"I'll go tell him." says Gallagher.

Phew! 'Tis a good thing I saved this one with a different filename.

The older one:
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Allan and Rodger are in the bank one day when a gang of robbers rushed in, brandishing guns.

While three of the robbers proceeded to relieve the tellers of their cash, the fourth lined the customers up and was taking their wallets and other valuables.

Rodger, who was standing next to Allan, pressed something in Allan's hand.

Allan asked, "What's this?"

Rodger whispered, "That's the $50 I owe you."
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Joe

he should know, Joe was the gang leader !!!

That was the time I ganged up on Rodger.:D

Allan

I thought the ending was

Mrs Murphy answers the door

Gallagher says: "are you Paddy Murphy's widow?"

Mrs Murphy says: "No"

Gallagher says: "Wanna bet?"

Tee Hee!
That's the Belfast Version.