Romantic first line

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THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE
RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND
LINE:

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you because I was .

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's
empty and so is your head.

I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes .......
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

nice one!

quick question for any yanks out there, does the washington post actually run these competitions, or are they all made up? You see lots of different ones floating around (I had never seen this particular one before though)...

cheers,
Dave

Hard to tell. I think cisco is the only WWF member near Washington. I've sent my brother here to peek at some of my threads (Not such a great idea now, with limited image access.), but I don't know if he's ever joined. And, though he doesn't subscribe to the Washington Post, his workplace scuttlebutt might be sufficient to establish veracity. I'll send him to this thread later, and await his reply.

[Labour Day holiday now in Oosa, so might not hear about it for a day or two.]

Joe

I got an earlier response than expected. This has apparently been floating around the weird wild web for a couple years, occasionally attributed to the Washington Post or the New York Times, as distinctly American sources. Such competitions, when included in those newspapers, usually originate in a syndicating service anyway.

A tipoff to non-American origination is the use of "" for "drunk" in the fourth couplet. This is a British usage. http://english2american.com/dictionary/p.html

Still a good one, Ray. Keep 'em coming.:D

Joe

Thanks for that - I guess it doesn't change how funny the joke is, and this one was particularly good!

I guess since I don't subscribe to the Washington Post anyway, what difference does it make! It is interesting to know though.

Cheers,
Dave