Regular as clockwork.

A chap went to his doctor for a checkup and the
doctor asked, "Are you using your bowels?".
"Oh yes", he answered, "every morning at 5.00am"

The doctor then asked, "Is your bladder working ok?"
"Yes, fine", he replied, "every morning at 6.00am".

The doctor exclaimed, "Everything seems ok, what
is the problem".

The man answered, "I don't wake up until 7.00am".

Allan.

______________________________________________________

I am not at all worried about dying
... but just hope I am not there at the time.

Allan, the same guy went for a check-up the next year and the doctor told him he was over-weight.
The patient said he wanted a second opinion and the doctor told him he was ugly too.

Barry Hicks

About a month ago I got really crook as I arrived at work. Went home to bed, shaking like a leaf. Turned the electric blanket up full and stayed there until 2pm when I had to go to the Dr (earliest I could get in). Got out of bed and shivered my way around the corner to see the good physician.

She asked a few questions, made me say "ahhh", took a temperature and then shook her head. In a serious voice she said "you should be in bed" :doh:

I went to the same doctor and said I felt pretty crook.

The Doctor said I was a hypochondriac.

I said I was too sick to talk about it.

Allan

Guys,
I am not sure if we have read a Guiness world record created by re-hashing old one liners, or whether it is time to finally put them out to pasture.
Maybe the Guiness world record, because I still smiled.:doh: