Snake-bite

This joke was originally told to me as an Irish joke but so as not to offend any Irish members of the forum or some of my Irish friends, I have decided to tell this story in a neutral manner.

There was these two Arabs called Paddy and Murphy, out in the bush, collecting some firewood for the winter. After a while Paddy needs to answer the call of nature and goes behind a tree to do his business (yes, Paddy was shy) Unfortunately for Paddy he chose a tree where a poisonous snake was close by and the snake, startled by Paddy, struck out to defend itself against what it thought was an attack on its person and bit Paddy on the end of his unmentionable.
Paddy screamed {wouldn't you?} and ran to Murphy and explained, in the best way he could, what had transpired. Murphy, quick to see the serious nature of what had happened, shouted for Paddy to get into the ute to take him to a doctor. Paddy was in a panic, "no, the ride will be too rough for me and will make the poison spread through my whole body, you go and bring the doctor back here. I will stay still and wait by the tree." (stupid idea really cos thats where the snake had been)
So off went Murphy driving as fast as he dared back to the small, nearby town. He pulled up at the small hospital and ran inside. He called out to the receptionist at the front desk. "Quick I need a doctor to come and tend to my friend Paddy, he has been bitten by a snake." The doctor was immediately paged and appeared shortly.
Murphy explained to the doctor that his friend had been bitten by a poisonous snake.

"I'm sorry I cant come "said the doctor, "I am just about to go into theatre to assist in an emergency operation."" Well what can I do" asked Murphy. "Dont worry" said the doctor, trying to calm Murphy down. "you can save your friend." " How do I do that" asked Murphy, calming down a bit, knowing that he could do something to help. "The best thing you can do is to suck the poison out of the wound where the snake has bit your friend," instructed the doctor, "thats all you need to do, just suck the poison out and he will be okay, if you dont't, your friend will die."
Before Murphy could utter another word, the doctor hurried off to the operating theatre. The stunned Murphy hurried out to his ute and drove as fast as possible back to where Paddy was waiting. He was now lying flat on his back and as white as a sheet. Murphy knelt down beside his best friend. "I'm here Paddy, its me, your old friend Murphy." Paddy's eyes rolled and he looked up at Murphy and recognition showed in his face, "wheres the doctor he whimpered," " The doctor had an emergency and he couldn't come, but I spoke to the doctor and told him about you" said Murphy.
Paddy's face now showed signs of hope, "and what did he say", he asked.
Murphy, swallowed hard before replying to his old, best mate. "The doctor said your gonna die Paddy".

Ahh, dey's a funny race the Arabs, to be sure :wink:

An oldie.

It is track 2 on the Best of King Billy Cokebottle.

I'll ave alf a pint o yay best Guiness laddy