The canoe

A Frenchman, an Englishman, & an Aussie were captured by cannibals. The Chief comes to them and says, "the bad news is that now we've caught you & we're going to kill you. We will put you in a pot, cook you, eat you, and then we're going to use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to chose how to die."

The Frenchman says, "I take ze sword." the Chief gives him a sword, the Frenchman says, "vive la France!" and runs himself through.

The Englishman says, "a pistol for me please" the chief gives him a pistol and the Englishman points it at his head and says, "god save the queen!" then he blows his head off.

The Aussie says, "gimme a fork!" the chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. He takes the fork and begins jabbing himself all over- stomach, head, chest, sides, everywhere! There is blood gushing everywhere.

The chief is appalled and asks, "what are you doing?", and the Aussie responds, "so much for your canoe a***hole !"