A Typical Friday Night....

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK

Cinnamon
Indubitably
Innovative
Preliminary
Proliferation

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK

British Constitution
Loquacious Transubstantiate
Passive-aggressive disorder
Specificity

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK

Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
Nope, no more booze for me.
Sorry, but you're not really my type.
Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
Oh, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.
You're right; I can't jump over that table.

Some more things that are impossible to say when you're drunk:

• No kebab for me, thank you.
• I'm not interested in fighting you.
• No, I won't make any attempt to dance thanks, I have zero co-ordination.
• Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street.
• Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you. (NB: There is one scenario where it is possible to say this even when you’re drunk. This is when you look around the bar and notice for the first time that it’s full of blokes dancing with each other).