capitolism

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
· You have two sheep.
· You sell one and buy a ram.
· Your flock multiplies, and the economy grows.
· You sell them and retire on the income.

AMERICAN CAPITALISM (or Enro-capitalism):
· You have two sheep.
· You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using
letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then
execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that
you get all four sheep back, with a tax exemption for five sheep. The
wool rights of the six sheep are transferred via an intermediary to a
Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who
sells the rights to all seven sheep back to your listed company. The
annual report says the company owns eight sheep, with an option on one
more. Sell one sheep to buy a new president of the United States,
leaving you with nine sheep. No balance sheet provided with the
release. The public buys your ram.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION:
· You have two sheep.
· You sell one, and force the other to produce the wool of four sheep.
· You are surprised when the sheep drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:
· You have two sheep.
· You go on strike because you want three sheep.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
· You have two sheep.
· You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary
sheep and produce 20 times the wool. · You then create clever sheep
cartoon images called Sheepkimon and market them worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION:
· You have two sheep.
· You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month,
and shear themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION:
· You have two sheep.
· Both die from foot and mouth.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
· You have two sheep, but you don't know where they are.
· You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
· You have two sheep.
· You count them and learn you have five sheep.
· You count them again and learn you have 42 sheep.
· You count them again and learn you have 12 sheep.
· You stop counting sheep and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION:
· You have 5000 sheep, none of which belong to you.
· You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION:
· You have two sheep.
· You have 300 people shearing them.
· You claim full employment, high productivity, and arrest the
newsman who reported the numbers.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION:
· You have two sheep.
· That one on the left is kinda cute