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Male Viewpoints
I married Miss Right. I didn't know her first name was Always.
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
Marriage is a 3 ring circus.Engagement ring,Wedding ring,and suffering.
The last fight was my fault. My wife asked,"What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"
In the beginning, God created Earth and rested.Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman. Since then neither God nor Man has rested.
Why do men die before their wives?
Because they want to.
What is the difference between a dog and a fox?
About 5 drinks.
A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said"I haven't eaten in four days." She looked at him and said,"God I wish I had youir will power."
Do you know the punishment for Bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.
Young son: "Is it true,Dad,I heard that in some parts of Africa a man dosen't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: "That happens in every country son."
Aman inserted an ad in the classified:"Wife Wanted."Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said 'You can have mine.'
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an Angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mines still alive."
How do most men define marriage?Anexpensive way to get laundry done for free.
Just think,if it were'nt for marriage,men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say,talk in your sleep.
Then there was the man who said,"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married;and then it was too late.
A little boy asked his father,"Daddy,how much does it cost to get married?"
And the father replies,"I dont knw son I'm still paying!"
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And don't forget the marriage vow, for better or worse, she couldn't do any better and I couldn't do any worse.
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Marriage boils down to giving up half your tucker to get the other half cooked.
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My wife is a bit temperamental. 90% temper and 10% mental.
Cheers
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Careful Iain ...you might get named as co-respodent in divorce preceedings!!!!
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Johnno
