How To install a poor-man's security system:
Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men's used work boots - a really big pair.
Put them outside your front door on top of a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine.
Put a dog dish beside it - a really big dog dish. Leave a note on your front door that
says something like:
"Jacko, big Mike and I have gone to get more ammunition - back in half an hour.
Don't disturb the Pitbulls - they've just been wormed, and they’re "
