Hell and the Devil

Devil

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is
wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the Devil...
Devil: Why are you so glum?
Guy: What do you think? I'm in hell!
Devil: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here.
You a drinking man?
Guy: Sure, I love to drink.
Devil: Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays that's all we
do is drink. . . Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet tab and fresca...we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more!
Guy: Gee, that sounds great!
Devil: You a smoker?
Guy: You better believe it!
Devil: All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the
finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer – no worries - you’re already dead, remember?
Guy: Wow... that's awesome!
Devil: I bet you like to gamble.
Guy: Why yes, as a matter of fact I do.
Devil: Cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, Blackjack,
Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt...well, you're dead anyhow. What about Drugs???
Guy: Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean...
Devil: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl
of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You
can do all the drugs you want - you're dead, who cares.
Guy: WOW! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!
Devil: You gay?
Guy: No...
Devil: .........Ooooh (grimaces). You're gonna hate Fridays.