Christmas Turkey

Two drunks, John and Pete, are sitting on a park bench approaching Christmas time, and
Pete starts bragging about his great roast turkey recipe.

“Hey John, here’s my recipe for roast turkey,” Pete says.

“Pre-heat the oven to 160C, pour over half a bottle of white wine and roast the bird for two
hours. Then remove and stand for 15 minutes and repeat with half a bottle of red wine.

Remove and repeat with two cups of whiskey and a cup of port. Two hours later, finish off
with two cups of sweet cognac and roast one more hour.”

John says, “Crikey, Pete, that turkey has been cooking all day, surely the meat is ruined?”

Pete replies, “Of course the turkey is ruined, but the gravy is something else!”