The GROANERS are back

John Travolta tested negative for coronavirus last night. Turns out it was just Saturday night fever.

The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.

I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself “That's the last thing I need."

Intelligence is like underwear. It is important that you have it, but not necessary that you show it off.

Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason... details are sketchy.

People are making end of the world jokes like there's no tomorrow.

Whatever you do, always give 100%--unless you're donating blood.

What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin’ Catholic.

What did Snow White say when she came out of the photo booth? Someday my prints will come.

A girl said she recognized me from her vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.

I've always had an irrational fear of speed bumps but I'm slowly getting over it.

What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? Short.

I've finally told my suitcases there will be no holiday this year. Now I'm dealing with the emotional baggage.

If you're not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?

Don't let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case.

No groaning here Kryn, these are awesome.
Rgds,
Crocy.

I read out the first one to my wife …… my timing was perfect ….. sent out the first line, then I got the immediate response, “why is that even news”, and then dropped the punchline [emoji3037] KO


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Youve hurt my spleen!

Gods these are bad :)

"What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? Short."

I fort there was anover anser, but my wife said I ORTER lern how to spel.

Experience tells

Speed bumps tend to disappear in rental cars at 30 MPH (50 KPH).

We had a rental car and the boys were with us. One of the boys noted, "You always said that speed bumps disappeared . . . ." In the parking lot there was a speed bump on a goodly long stretch of lane. I started and when SWMBO realized what I was doing she started screaming. The boys agreed they do tend to disappear.

I was sentenced to a month of training in the Northern Virginia area. From the apartment to the office over the safe and sane route was around 23 miles. Over the back way and over twisting and turning roads it was closer to 12.5 miles AND usually 30 minutes shorter. The plus it was a lot more fun and a great way to start the day. In two weeks I wore out the front end of a Toyota Tercel on the rental car.