Welcome to the Golden Years

Car Keys- !!
They weren't in my pockets.
Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car.
Frantically, I headed for the parking lot.
My wife has scolded me many times for leaving my keys in the car's ignition. She's afraid that the car could be stolen.
As I looked around the parking lot, I realized she was right.
The parking lot was empty. I immediately called the police.I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.
Eventually, I plucked up the courage and made the most difficult call of all to my wife:“I left my keys in the car and it's been stolen."
There was a moment of silence.
I thought the call had been disconnected, but then I heard her voice.“Are you kidding me?" she barked, "I dropped you off!"
Now it was my turn to be silent!!!!
Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me."
She retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this cop that I didn't steal your bloody car!"