SWMBO found this somewhere & sent it to me. Good for a bit of a chuckle...:)
Keith
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
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These are our rules:<O:p</O:p
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!<O:p</O:p
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1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that<O:p</O:p
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
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1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be<O:p</O:p
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.<O:p</O:p
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1. Crying is blackmail.<O:p</O:p
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1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:<O:p</O:p
Subtle hints do not work!<O:p</O:p
Strong hints do not work!<O:p</O:p
Obvious hints do not work!<O:p</O:p
JUST SAY IT!<O:p</O:p
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1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question<O:p</O:p
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1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for<O:p</O:p
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor<O:p</O:p
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days<O:p</O:p
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us<O:p</O:p
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one<O:p</O:p
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1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done<O:p</O:p
Not both<O:p</O:p
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself<O:p</O:p
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1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials<O:p</O:p
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1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we<O:p</O:p
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.<O:p</O:p
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit.<O:p</O:p
We have no idea what mauve is.<O:p</O:p
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1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.<O:p</O:p
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle<O:p</O:p
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear<O:p</O:p
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really<O:p</O:p
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as:<O:p</O:p
Sex,<O:p</O:p
Sport, or<O:p</O:p
Cars<O:p</O:p
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1. You have enough clothes<O:p</O:p
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1. You have too many shoes<O:p</O:p
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1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.<O:p</O:p
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1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.<O:p</O:p
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