well out buying dog food for buddy the pug

At a Super market, buying a bag of Purina dog food for Buddy,

while in the
check-out line a woman behind me
asked if I had a dog. Why else would I
be buying dog chow, RIGHT ???

So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog,

I was starting the Purina Diet
again, and that I probably shouldn't
because I ended up in the hospital last
time, but that I'd lost 15 kg before
I awakened in intensive care with tubes
coming out of most of my orifices and
IVs in both arms. I told her that it was
essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do
is load your pockets with Purina
Nuggets and simply eat one or two
every time you feel hungry. The food is
nutritionally complete so it works well
and I was going to try it again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I
ended up in intensive care because the
dog food poisoned me.

I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's
butt and a car hit me.

( I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart
attack he was laughing so hard.)

Better
watch what you ask me and be
prepared for my answer. I have all the
time in the world to think of crazy
things to say.

I did not know you had a dog. :o