Little old lady drivers

No 1

Little old lady driving along slowly and steering with her knees while knitting at the same time. Sudden blast of a siren and a Police car comes up next to her and an officer shouts through the window "PULL OVER!" and she shouts back "NO OFFICER, A CARDIGAN!"

No 2

Little old lady chugging along the road when a couple of Hoons come roaring along and nearly take her out as they force ther way past. She shouts "PIGS PIGS" as they go by and they shout back "YOU SILLY OLD COW GET OFF THE **%* ROAD"
That's when they hit the pig.

Regards