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View Full Version : How life can change in a week.















Calm
22nd November 2008, 07:19 PM
This week has had more change/effect than any other in my life that i can remember.

Tuesday - my mate that has suffered from Crohns disease for the past 14 years (the past 3 with the Sh!ts 24/7. Over the last 4 months he lost control of his bowels to the point it was embarassing for him to go off the farm. During the past 4 years his weight has decreased from 88 KG to 60 KG as well. He refused to have a "colostrum bag" operation although the doctors offered it for the last 2 years.

He was a neighbour when i managed a farm for 10 years (i have left there 11 years ago) and for the past 15 years since his brother died i have helped him on his farm with the 2 man jobs and for the past 5 years that has increased to anything that required a bit of strength and for the past year i needed to get my brother to do the 2 man jobs with me. He was a 66 YO batchelor that would not have travelled more than 50km from home, on more than 10 occasions - he went over the westgate bridge twice. He never bothered to et his licence but still drove everywhere. This was apart from when we used to go to Maryborough/Trentham/Daylesford/Ballan to play golf on Sundays before he got crook the last 3 years or so.

Anyway after being in hospital since 17th October and the past week on life support he passed away on Tuesday when the life support was wound back. The old bast*rd fought to the end but alas determination cannot always prevail. I sat with him for the last 4 days for about 2 - 3 hours each morning and night. (the hospital staff were magnificent the way they looked after him and put up with me at 6 am or 11 pm after spending the day on the farm helping him out)

I shed a tear, had a sook then realised that he's at peace now - reunited with his brother who was also his best mate.

Thursday - So we buried him Thursday morning and a huge crowd turned up with a do at the pub afterwards. A great finish to a sad event. More cups of tea.

Friday - Off to the Solicitors on Friday at 4pm to hand in the financial papers (bank statements, superannuation, investments etc) they asked me to collect and bring in. The solicitor told me to come in handed me a copy of the will, i sat down and you could have knocked me off the chair with a feather when i was told the farm had been left to me. Another person received some cash but basically he left most to me. I didnt know what to say, do, think, i was absolutely flabagasted, i didnt do any of this for gain i did it to help a bloke that needed help, never expecting anything in return.

So what am i going to do now my life has changed from renting a house, spending all my spare time helping my old mate to owning the bloody thing and a brain so spun out that it doesnt seem to register what has happened.

Saturday - i get up ring my mate who drove me out to the farm and had a look around with me, gave me his thoughts on the house and other things, and back home to Balarat for a cup of tea. Phone rings and my SIL says my daughter has just given me my first grandchild Ashley/Ashlee Jaide/Jade/Jayde (no bloogy idea yet.) both her and mum well.

So how was your week - mundane i bet.

Cheers all from the confused one - tell him he's dreamin!!!!!!!!!!!

bsrlee
22nd November 2008, 07:41 PM
It is sad that your old mate is gone, but its nice to hear when something good happens to good people in the end.

prozac
22nd November 2008, 09:38 PM
Your mate must have really valued your friendship and support. He did not think that this windfall was undeserved, and knows that someone he trusts will continue his work. You're not likely to forget him.

artme
22nd November 2008, 10:29 PM
:wts:

WoodJunky
22nd November 2008, 10:29 PM
Your mate must have really valued your friendship and support. He did not think that this windfall was undeserved, and knows that someone he trusts will continue his work. You're not likely to forget him.

Prozac is right, he really must have valued your friendship and this is his way of saying Thank you for being there for him.

By the way, :2tsup:Congratulations:2tsup: on the new grandchild and it is good to hear both are doing well.

fenderbelly
23rd November 2008, 09:21 AM
Hi Grandpa, mate, you did what you could to help a mate when he needed help, he's just returning the favour.

Sit down with a beer,have a think, move in and get the shed organised as now you have toys and stuff to make for the youngun and who knows a whole new start maybe.
Enjoy
Cheers Fred

wheelinround
23rd November 2008, 09:25 AM
Calm its Karma it does happen and for reasons :rolleyes:

sorry for your loss, it takes a man to admit he can feel the way you did re your friendship.

:2tsup: that smile on your dial re new grandchild :U will brighten your future also not to mention the farm where she can come visit and grow.

Just think you can now host a woodies get together in your new shed/s:;

Papa
23rd November 2008, 09:53 AM
Life can be funny. My twin brothers greatest fear was to die in a
nursing home. He was at the home feeding his step mother, we
were adopted by different families, and suffered a massive heart
attack and died at the nursing home.

Our prayers are with you.

Brad and Kimber

tea lady
23rd November 2008, 10:11 AM
I need that knock me down with a feather smiley again. What an amazing week you have had. A beautiful story of freindship. Congratulations on your grandchild too.:2tsup: I guess you'll work out the spelling soon. (I need too give you a hug I think. :bighug: )

Hows my week been? All I did was get a good part time job.:cool: Not quite the farm but.:rolleyes:

Andy Mac
23rd November 2008, 10:25 AM
Sorry to hear about your mate, Calm. Sounds like a dreadful way to go, but at least he had someone like you supporting him till the end.
Congratulations on becoming a grandfather, and of course, the windfall! It was the best way your old mate could say thanks.

Regards,

Groggy
23rd November 2008, 10:34 AM
I have to agree with Andy, it shows how much your mate valued your friendship and assistance over the years. It's a sorry thing to see your friends pass on but that is the way of life.

BTW, you now need to change your will.

jmk89
23rd November 2008, 11:33 AM
Dave

Sorry to hear about your mate. But grandkid and a windfall mean that there was a real smooth to go with the rough!

Don't want to rain on your parade, but don't spend the windfall quite yet - are your mate's family cool with the change to the will? If not, that can get expensive if they challenge the will or try to claim that they have a "family provision" claim. And as Groggy said - change your will.

RufflyRustic
23rd November 2008, 11:39 AM
Congrats Calm - a little GrandDaughter :)

Sorry to hear about your friend passing. You gave him the best gift possible, unreserved/unconditional friendship, love and acceptance as he was. That is the best gift I can think of ever giving/receiving.

What goes around comes around.

Good luck Calm!! :2tsup:

Allan at Wallan
23rd November 2008, 11:45 AM
Nice to see that your mate appreciated your
assistance and friendship over the years.

Glad to hear you are a "Grandpa" and hope
all is well for your daughter and the little one.

Allan

Rossluck
23rd November 2008, 11:55 AM
It seem to me that you're the right one for the farm, and the farm's right for you, and that's how your friend saw it. Good luck to you.

Calm
23rd November 2008, 07:30 PM
Thanks everyone for your kind words & thoughts - what a great place to be right here on the forum.

So first - Ashley/Ashlee Jaide/Jade/Jayde - they are the right ones i am told - went in tonight and saw the little critter - bald, beautiful and healthy, (just like granddad) but only 6kg. Anyway i am told she is going home Tuesday so photos will have to wait but i can assure you it did happen, i saw the result with my own eyes.

The farm - i have taken a few photos so click on the All Albums thingy at the top of the page and have a look

Moving in and having a turnfest might be ambitious in the sheds provided but a barbeque/bonfire and trim of some of the "diseased" trees would be more likely.

The house well it probably classes as a residence to get around the 100 acre rule (for you uneducated interstaters/non mexicans - in Victoria you cant get a building permit on "country" land under 100 acres) but in reality it cant get lower as the floor is on the ground, which looks very uneven, and the roof appears to wanting to get there as well. Although there does not appear to be white ants or rot in the structural parts so maybe something can be done with it, time will tell.

What am i going to do well - for a bloke who last week was 52 years old with about $5,000 in the bank renting a house to this week being the owner of a peice of realestate valued at over 1 million i am doing the best thing i know how, thats right going back to drive the truck. Ballarat - Koroit - Melbourne and then probably up to Keiwa - might see you tomorrow night Jefferson.

Ooroo

tea lady
23rd November 2008, 07:38 PM
Yes! It sounds like it certainly needs some pondering.:cool: What else is on the farm? As in ,what did he "Farm"?:?

Calm
23rd November 2008, 07:52 PM
Yes! It sounds like it certainly needs some pondering.:cool: What else is on the farm? As in ,what did he "Farm"?:?

Black Cattle 72 cows & calves, 4 Bulls, 21 yearling Heifers,

and a dog ("TRY" - originally because of black/tan/white but usually because of trying on the patience or try hard) which was a present from me when i stopped managing the farm beside him years ago - Hadnt thought of that i got my own dog back - does that make me an indian giver

Cheers

tea lady
23rd November 2008, 11:10 PM
Black Cattle 72 cows & calves, 4 Bulls, 21 yearling Heifers,

and a dog ("TRY" - originally because of black/tan/white but usually because of trying on the patience or try hard) which was a present from me when i stopped managing the farm beside him years ago - Hadnt thought of that i got my own dog back - does that make me an indian giver

Cheers

I thought you said it was a dog.:D

underfoot
24th November 2008, 04:52 PM
- for a bloke who last week was 52 years old with about $5,000 in the bank renting a house to this week being the owner of a peice of realestate valued at over 1 million


calma :)

prozac
25th November 2008, 10:11 AM
Thanks everyone for your kind words & thoughts - what a great place to be right here on the forum.

So first - Ashley/Ashlee Jaide/Jade/Jayde - they are the right ones i am told - went in tonight and saw the little critter - bald, beautiful and healthy, (just like granddad) but only 6kg. Anyway i am told she is going home Tuesday so photos will have to wait but i can assure you it did happen, i saw the result with my own eyes.


6kg Calm, you sure are big breeders south of the boarder! I hope mum is ok.

The Bleeder
25th November 2008, 10:25 AM
Congtats Grandpa. 6kg (a biggen').

Looks like you were his only true mate and he did what he thought a true mate deserves.

I think you're going to miss him.

Steve

BernieP
25th November 2008, 02:02 PM
G'Day Calm

Ashlee will obviously grow up to be a corker with a kind compassionate grandpa like you
Congratulations!

Cheers
Bernie

Calm
25th November 2008, 10:48 PM
6kg Calm, you sure are big breeders south of the boarder! I hope mum is ok.

I got it wrong again lb or pound for the poms among us.

That is 6 lb sounds a bit gentler on the mother.:D:D

Cheers