Ozkaban
6th May 2008, 12:24 PM
Auditor: A person sent in after the battle to stab the wounded
Bank manager: A jerk who will lend you an umbrella when the sun is shining, and ask for it back when it starts to rain.
Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
Camel: A horse designed by a committee.
College: The place where you have three options--to sleep, to study, or to party - but only get to pick two per semester.
Committee: A cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.
Committee: A group that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
Committee: The unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.
Democracy: Three wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper.
Diplomacy: The art of saying 'Nice doggie!' ... till you can find a rock.
Diplomat: A man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
Eccentric: Too rich to be called crazy.
Economist: One who tells you what to do with your money after you've spent it.
Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny.
Experience: A comb life gives you after you lose your hair.
Hangover: The wrath of grapes.
Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.
Honest politician: One who, when bought, stays bought.
Insane: When you're nuts and it bothers you. (Crazy is when you're nuts and you like it).
Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.
Kleptomaniac: One who can't help himself from helping himself.
Paper clip: The larval stage of coat hangers.
Politics: From the words 'poly' meaning 'many' and 'ticks' as in 'small, blood-sucking parasites'.
Reality: A crutch for people who can't face drugs.
Recursion: see Recursion.
Selfishness: Not being considerate of other people's selfishness.
Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
Slander: To lie, or tell the truth about someone.
Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
Windows 95: 32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor, written by a 2 bit company that canīt stand 1 bit of competition
Bank manager: A jerk who will lend you an umbrella when the sun is shining, and ask for it back when it starts to rain.
Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
Camel: A horse designed by a committee.
College: The place where you have three options--to sleep, to study, or to party - but only get to pick two per semester.
Committee: A cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.
Committee: A group that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
Committee: The unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.
Democracy: Three wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper.
Diplomacy: The art of saying 'Nice doggie!' ... till you can find a rock.
Diplomat: A man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
Eccentric: Too rich to be called crazy.
Economist: One who tells you what to do with your money after you've spent it.
Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny.
Experience: A comb life gives you after you lose your hair.
Hangover: The wrath of grapes.
Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.
Honest politician: One who, when bought, stays bought.
Insane: When you're nuts and it bothers you. (Crazy is when you're nuts and you like it).
Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.
Kleptomaniac: One who can't help himself from helping himself.
Paper clip: The larval stage of coat hangers.
Politics: From the words 'poly' meaning 'many' and 'ticks' as in 'small, blood-sucking parasites'.
Reality: A crutch for people who can't face drugs.
Recursion: see Recursion.
Selfishness: Not being considerate of other people's selfishness.
Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
Slander: To lie, or tell the truth about someone.
Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
Windows 95: 32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor, written by a 2 bit company that canīt stand 1 bit of competition