Restoring old oak table

[troutface]

I'm a newbie and trying to help a mate with c. 100 yo oak table restoration.
The table has turned legs, oak top with two extension leaves and was finished in a dark spirit lacquer. Table has been used as an ironing board in the past! and some scorch marks, minor dints, scrapes, flaking and warping of the top pieces has resulted.
He has sanded the top, removing a fair proportion of the original finish, although the leaves escaped treatment. Unsure of the framework timber - not oak, but a softer dark red-brown timber. Nice to work with.
We have moved it to my workshop and carefully disassembled all loose joins to clean the rabbit glue from them ready to start work.
I don't want to over-restore it, although the top is now an issue.
Problems!
1. the top has bowed and warped. I have tried clamps to straighten them, with moderate success, but am loathe to get too heavy iwth the treatment. Do they need damping/steaming?
2. Restoring the finish. Have read many raves about Ubeaut products and would appreciate advice.
3. Suggested adhesives for regluing
4. Other tips or hints greatly appreciated!
Thanks, guys.

[s_m]

Will be interested to read the responses, as we have an old oak table and chairs which are well beyond a simple "restoration" - ie the top and leaves probably require total refinishing, and the chairs require complete dismantling and reassembly with new dowels and glue (only 2 out of 4 are currently safe to sit on). All pieces are liberally covered with dings, scratches, flaky bits of finish (old shellac?), white marks etc etc.

We have no intention of ever using these again but as they belonged to hubby's Grandma (ie came from England with her stuff) it would be nice to pass them to another member of the family in better condition. I'm not sure if this means I am more or less fussy than doing a similar project for myself?

Steph