Jim Carroll
21st February 2008, 08:33 PM
Some of these have been around before, Just thought I would add my 2c worth.
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there
Is not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,
But check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
What is the speed of darkness?
Are there especially reserved parking spaces for able bodied people at the
Special Olympics?
If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing
here?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground?
And.........Did you ever stop and wonder.......
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'
Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna
eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get
undressed if they are going to look up there anyway ?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
both dogs !
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (This one kills me !!!!)
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from ?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there
Is not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,
But check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
What is the speed of darkness?
Are there especially reserved parking spaces for able bodied people at the
Special Olympics?
If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing
here?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground?
And.........Did you ever stop and wonder.......
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'
Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna
eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get
undressed if they are going to look up there anyway ?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
both dogs !
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (This one kills me !!!!)
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from ?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?