Housework blues

[Andy Mac]

I NEED A GOOD WINGE!

What is it about womenfolk? Doesn't matter what I do at the moment... its just bl**dy wrong, according to Her Majesty.
Bit of background, we've recently swapped roles: I've given up work in the paid workforce (was going to say 'work' fullstop, but apparently that term denigrates the role of the housewife), and she has started work fulltime with a new business. (I will be doing one day a week starting February at the uni, just to keep my foot in the door in case it goes pear-shaped.) So I'm the the chief bottlewash, sweeper, laundryman, cook etc, looking after 3 kids.
Now, I've mostly pulled my weight around the house (dishes, nappies, cook sometimes), and do the garden when I can, but never criticised how things were run inside. Suddenly everything I do regarding the housework is just plain wrong!! Wrong cycle selection with the laundry, hang the damned clothes wrong on the line, changed everything around in the hall cupboard, spend too much on shopping, and to top it all off, yesterday before I left to go weekly grocery shopping, I mounted a blitzkrieg in the fridge. Anything vaguely limp, spoiled, bulging, resembling a science experiment, and old dairy went into the bin, or down the sink or to the chooks. I've had enough of discovering unknowns in there, or not being able to fit a beer, or listening to complaints about it...I just did it, ruthlessly. Now I'm the biggest pr*ick around, not only aggressive, but a waster of money etc. Have honestly worn a pile of vitriole about it, and still are. Simply because in amongst it was a tub of OK yoghurt and half a cup of sour cream. My big mistake in hindsight was to intimate that dairy was the cause of most of the problem in the fridge, and because I don't consume any of the stuff, comments like that are considered prejudiced. I only did it to be spiteful!! Yeah right. The outcome is anything of mine that the wife doesn't like around the house is fair game! Work that leap in logic out!?! Move from the site of a very specific problem, into a take-no-prisoners war around the entire house!
Maybe its just that she can't let go of what was her domain, but I tell you, I'm almost over it. Have had calls from work to come back during my long service to sort some stuff out...very tempting at the moment.



Cheers,

[Dirty Doogie]

Sometimes divorce is the only way forward LOL

[wheelinround]

basicly she wants her life back Andy

Biily Connolly comes to mind "Do I come to your work and tell you how to sweep up"

[wayfarer]

You're in an unfair situation, Andy. I know, I've been there.

But it's not Her Majesty's problem.

You see, there are very few housedads. Probably one in 20. Who knows? What happens is for those 1 in 20 men there are 20 women standing behind your wife trying to get even... or equality as they call it. :)
Revenge is another words that pops from the keyboard.

Best of luck with it. I'm sure there's a solution of some sort. Ours was for me to return to work and us to get in the cleaners in every two weeks. I've never had to do the washing though. Not since shrinking that "good knit" about 19 years ago.

Here's a fair question. If the Minister for War and Finances went out and mowed the lawn, badly, what would your comments be? :)

[Wongo]

Go back to work Andy. Don’t mess around with God’s plan.:D

[astrid]

The womans just handed her Porche to a learner.
Would you be calm, reasonable and rational?
Have a little patience Andy, She's suddenly found her role reversed as well.

Also going back to full time work after a long break is stressfull for us older women, trust me Ive just been there.

You go to work trying to measure up to kids half your age and with up to date skills.

Swallow you pride and just ask her for intructions (yes i know you dont need them)

ask her advise on what to cook and how to load the washer.

Dont trivialise her old career by making it a piece of cake for you to do.

We women know that housework is grunt work and not rocket science,
But like anyone forced to do a menial job when their too smart for it, we make a big deal of how well we do it.
Like i said, take a deep breath___________________________ahh

AND WAIT FOR MENOPAUSE:o:o:o:o

Aunty Astrid:U

[Skew ChiDAMN!!]

Here's a fair question. If the Minister for War and Finances went out and mowed the lawn, badly, what would your comments be? :)

"Never mind. I'm sure you'll get the hang of it eventually." :q

[bitingmidge]

Wot Wongo so eloquently said! :D.

Remember those old workshop rules:

1) the Boss is never wrong

2) if the Boss is wrong, see rule no 1.


I feel your pain. We have a clearly demarked set of jobs to prevent exactly the sort of conflict you describe.

She does everything inside, including cooking, and she pays a chap to do everything outside, because it wouldn't be fair if she did both, but more importantly, we can talk about his inadequacies without starting a war.

Now on the odd, (perhaps rare) occasion that I do lift a hand, it's under very very close supervision.

There are one or two jobs at which she doesn't excel, but of course even if criticism were allowed, the fate of the critic would be worse than death.

That's why, when scrubbing of pots and pans is required, I wait till she's out, and drag them out of the cupboard to do them.

What you have failed to realise is that you haven't actually swapped roles. She is still the chief domestician, and you are her assistant, hired to enable her to do other things.

Once you get your head around that, there'll be plenty of time to watch Oprah and Dr Phil.

Cheers,

P
:D

[astrid]

Well midge, I wouldnt QUITE say it that way to Andy,
But basically your right,
She just hasnt learned the finer skills of delegation yet.
I get this with my new bosses all the time:)

Astrid

[SPIRIT]

Andy spent the larst 2 years as house man just get some balls and say it is now my house
and dont forget to get her slippers and a drink when she gets home

never ask how to do it never !!!you will be letting us all down ,its bloody house work not biulding a rocket :U

[silentC]

My Mum decided to clean our fridge out while we were away. She chucked out the Parmesan because it was a bit white looking and the anchovies went in the bin because they had white furry stuff all over them!! :rolleyes:

There now, I've got that off my chest.

I have no other contribution. I know my place and that's the way I like it :)

[Toyboy]

For what it's worth, ask her advice on how things should be managed. It will not only improve your life, but may save it....and sleep with a knife under your pillow. I'm pretty sure that's legal if you're married, if not, it should be.
If you any further problems with your domestic situation, suicide is still an option.
So you see, everything is not lost.....yet. :rofl:

[Ivan in Oz]

I do wish you lot would address First Issues 1st.

See Below.
messed it up,
just like my Cooking:(

[Ivan in Oz]

I do wish you lot would address First Issues 1st.

Andy,
I learnt this when batching for quite a while,
whence married still ;
BUT B4 Dv

ADD MORE CURRY TO THE FRIDGE REJECTS
and make a Stew......or was that Goulash:?:doh:

Tastes quite Good,
and gives your immune System a bit of a Kick

[Sebastiaan56]

Andy,

I was talking to an elderly friend over a couple of beers. I candidly asked him what it was like to be retired. He turned to me and in his best german accent said "much the same as working, the only thing that has changed is the management"

Get a bigger shed,

Sebastiaan

[Christopha]

Go on strike, grow some balls or get your girlfriend over to help when the dragon is at work! If you don't have a girlfriend then get out there and get one cos your missus won't be around for long anyway and you are going to need some comp'ny!

[RufflyRustic]

Hi Andy,

From my humble point of view, I reckon I'd feel guilty as all heck that by swapping roles, even when I wanted to, that I might be letting down the family. There is too, the irrational fear that everyone in the house will like husband's style/method of keeping the house running better than the Mum's way of doing it all.

Yep, the changeover time suxs, but is there any chance, after cooling down, that working a few groundrules in might help? for example - You do things your way, I'll do them my way. I'll never be able to do like you, but let me find my feet. So what if the washing gets done using a different cycle. They didn't shrink/change colour or anything else and the clothes are clean and dry. What's the Problem????

Good Luck Andy, The hardest time of changing habits is right at the point where they change, where it sounds, you are right now.

Enjoy that beer! You've earned it!!

cheers
Wendy

[flynnsart]

So, how many years has your wife been doing the housewife thing?

How long have you been doing the housewife thing?

Dont expect the aprentice to know it all or be able to do it as expertly as the boss :p

We have this problem too, and I do try and bite my tongue when things arent done the same way i do them. Hang in there, she will get used to it, it is hard to let someone take over what you have had sole control of for years.

Donna

[AlexS]

Some good advice above, particularly from Midge & the Countess.

Or you could say as I did: "Do you want me to do it, or do you want to tell me how to do it?"
Not necessarily good advice. Perhaps Wongo is correct.

[SPIRIT]

no realy Andy its a great job house keeping you can get it all done before lunch have a game of golf:D kids love looking for your ball and when she gets home you can tell her you took the kids for 1hr walk
one guy on the course had a seat made to fit on his buggy
:2tsup:

[wayfarer]

EDIT>>>
and dont forget to get her slippers and a drink when she gets home.

Crickey! Why didn't I think of that?!? Imagine the s3x afterwards! :)



no realy Andy its a great job house keeping you can get it all done before lunch have a game of golf <<<EDIT

Doesn't work if you swap golf for tennis with the "girls", that was short lived in this household :(

[Eli]

Men and Women clean differently, no doubt. If she has a problem with the way you're doing something, just tell her you'll be happy to leave that part for her to do, otherwise you're on the case. Did you climb all over her about the way she ran the ship? She's in charge of outside now, tell her you're skipper inside. The good part is, she at least knows how much work it is?

I think a previous poster was right on the money. She can't complain at her new job, maybe feeling a bit insecure. She knows you better than anybody, so you're the one that cops it. Be patient. If you can handle the kids no problem, I think you're on top. She'll even out, or give her the option to chuck in the day job, and return to work for her previous employer (you).

The calmer you stay, the easier it'll be. When you watch the house, you also have to be the rock. You'll be right.

[Andy Mac]

Thanks for the responses...advice and support or otherwise! It is a time of transition, so I guess I'd better keep my response in check. Never been known for that though, very quick with reaction to stimuli!:rolleyes:.
The new situation for my wife is not quite as people have surmised, she isn't employed as such, but has started a new business with only her working. Dressmaking, alterations etc. So there is no internal politics or anything, just the basic fact of making a living to replace my public service income.
I'm trying to identify my least favourite household chore, and it would have to be hanging out the washing...although today I had a portable radio and listened to the cricket, so maybe its not that bad!

Cheers for now,

[tea lady]

I'm trying to identify my least favourite household chore, and it would have to be hanging out the washing...although today I had a portable radio and listened to the cricket, so maybe its not that bad!

Cheers for now,
Maybe the critisism you thought she was giving you was really tips to make it easier. Use the right cycle for the right load and things come out cleaner. Separate the colours and you don't get white fluff on the black things. Hang things out straight and they are easier to fold after with less creases. Hang things out inside out and you the washing fades less in the sun (Well, the inside fades instead). All seems like stupid detail too pointless to worry about but will give you nice pile of clean fresh washing in the end instead of pile of crinkled stuff all the same color because colour ran. Might even change least favorite task into best. :oo:No, maybe going too far.
I hate house work, but I don't do a bad load o' washing. My least favorite task is vacuuming. Don't know why. Never sucks strong enough. Power cord always to short. Really annoying!!!!

[Eli]

...although today I had a portable radio and listened to the cricket, so maybe its not that bad!


get a pair of those earmuffs with the radio in them, and you won't hear the kids either!


Hang things out inside out and you the washing fades less in the sun (Well, the inside fades instead).

holy s**t, I learned a laundry tip on a woodwork forum! I'm pouring beer all over my head and go outside and fire up the chainsaw to make all right.
:U

[tea lady]

holy s**t, I learned a laundry tip on a woodwork forum! I'm pouring beer all over my head and go outside and fire up the chainsaw to make all right.
:U

Sorry 'bout that. Maybe we could tell him about high presser washer. Could make washing more exciting at least.:D