Barry Hicks
5th December 2007, 05:56 PM
1. A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A Coastguard spokesman commented, "This sort of thing is all too common." (The Times)
2. Police reveal that a woman arrested for shoplifting had a whole salami in her underwear. When asked why, she said it was because she was missing her Italian boyfriend. (The Manchester Evening News)
3. Commenting on a complaint from a Mr Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, "We agree that it was rather high for this time of the year. It's possible Mr Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house."
(The Daily Telegraph)
4. Mrs Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue, Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscences of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945 she recalled.
"He always seemed a nice friendly chap but when the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out 'Heil Hitler'.
(Bournemouth Evening Echo)
5. At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coastguard and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Landrover off the cliff. (Aberdeen Evening Express)
6. Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle and they don't want the public to know what it looks like. (The Guardian)
2. Police reveal that a woman arrested for shoplifting had a whole salami in her underwear. When asked why, she said it was because she was missing her Italian boyfriend. (The Manchester Evening News)
3. Commenting on a complaint from a Mr Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, "We agree that it was rather high for this time of the year. It's possible Mr Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house."
(The Daily Telegraph)
4. Mrs Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue, Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscences of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945 she recalled.
"He always seemed a nice friendly chap but when the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out 'Heil Hitler'.
(Bournemouth Evening Echo)
5. At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coastguard and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Landrover off the cliff. (Aberdeen Evening Express)
6. Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle and they don't want the public to know what it looks like. (The Guardian)