It could happen .....

[DaveInOz]

An Australian dies and is sent to hell.
He had been a horrible man throughout life and even the devil wanted to punish him, so he puts him to work breaking up rocks with a sledgehammer. To make it worse he cranks up the temperature and the humidity. "Love my kingdom!" laughs the devil.
After a couple of days the devil checks in on his victim to see if he is suffering adequately. The devil is aghast as he looks at the Aussie happily swinging his hammer and whistling a happy tune. The devil walks up to him and says, "I don't understand this. I've turned the heat way up, it's humid, you're crushing rocks; why are you so happy?"

The Aussie, smiling big, looks at the devil and replies, "This is great! It reminds me of January in Australia. Hot, humid, a good place to work. It reminds me of home. This is fantastic!"

The devil, extremely perplexed, walks away to ponder the Aussies remarks. Then he decides to drop the temperature, send down driving rain and torrential wind. Soon, hell is a wet, muddy mess. Walking in mud up to his knees with dust blowing into his eyes, the Aussie is happily slogging through the mud pushing a wheelbarrow full of crushed rocks.

Again, the devil asks how he can be happy in such conditions. The Aussie replies, "This is great! Just like April in Darwin. It reminds me of working out in the fields with spring planting!"

The devil is now completely baffled. Angry, and desperate to make hell really hell, he tries one last ditch effort. He makes the temperature plummet. Suddenly hell is blanketed in snow and ice. Confident that this will surely make the Australian unhappy, the devil checks in on him. He is aghast at what he sees. The Aussie is dancing, singing, and twirling his sledgehammer as he cavorts in glee.

"How can you be so happy? Don't you know it's 40 below zero!?" screams the devil. Jumping up and down the Aussie throws a snowball at the devil and yells, "Hell's frozen over!! This means the Wallabies won the World Cup!!!"

[silentC]

It also mean that girl from first form at high school will finally let me take her out! Yahoo!! :p

[craigb]

I was going to make a reply featuring blow jobs but then I decided not to.

[Eastie]

Get a hold of yourself Craig

[craigb]

Yes. Sorry.

Note to self: "don't post after you've been to the Pub"

[oges]

you posted it at 3:30pm what you doing at the pub that early on a weekday?? or you staggering home from the night before? :D

[silentC]

Sounds more like one of the long lunches I used to enjoy when I worked in Sydney town ;)

[craigb]

Bugger! Betrayed by a time stamp :D

[silentC]

You'd better just hope your boss isn't a woodworker :D

[Iain]

Who knows, the boss may have been buying :D

[coastie]

yOU WERE SAYING SOMETHING ABOUT HELL FREEZING OVER????

[AlexS]

Gettin' nice 'n' cool down here

[DaveInOz]

Just one win to go and SWMBO will be wearing a jumper to work. (yes she is in league with the devil, but her duties appear mostly ceremonial)

[Richard Casey]

Its starting to get cold, only one game to go|||||||||||||:D

[Eastie]

Sing this one in your head in a drunken English accent:
“Swing low sweet chariot, comin’ for to carry me home” ,

Hmm, deep down England supporters as I expected, no true Wallabies fan would ever think of singing that tune :eek: :D
(I had to shut my eyes whilst typing it, hope I got the spelling right - must go and wash my hands and clean the keyboard)

[silentC]

Can anyone explain exactly why English supporters sing an American Negro slave chant anyway? Actually, can anyone explain English supporters?

[craigb]

'cause it's easy to remember when they're :)

[Eastie]

From what I recall the song actually relates to the Jews fleeing Egypt across the Jordan River in search of the promised land. It’s typically taken as a reference to seeking heaven.

What it's got to do with drunken english rugby suporters escapes me - perhaps they feel they need devine intervention to win the cup. If so they'd be right :D

[silentC]

I hope you're right because me 'n' the missus are going out to watch the game with some friends (I use the term losely) from England and even though they've never shown any interest in Rugby before, all of a sudden they are the biggest fans of the game around.

I dearly want to see the smiles wiped from their faces but I have to say I'm a bit nervous about the whole thing. I just hope Eddie's got more than one sleeve. :(

[Driver]

A bloke walks into a pub with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing an England rugby jersey and is festooned with England pom-poms.

The barman says, "Hey! No pets are allowed! You'll have to leave."

The bloke begs him, "Look, I'm desperate! We're both big fans, the TV's broken at home, and this is the only place around where we can see the game."

After securing a promise that the dog will behave, and warning the bloke that he and the dog will be thrown out if there's any trouble, the barman relents and allows them to stay and watch the game. The big game begins. The poms take the kickoff. One of their wingers hurtles under the ball and takes a clean grab.
They march down the field, go through four phases and get stopped at the 22. One of the opposition gets penalised for offside in the ruck. The poms take a penalty and kick three points.

Suddenly, the dog jumps up on the bar and begins walking up and down the bar giving high-fives to everyone.

The barman says, "Wow! That’s the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does he do if they score a try?"

The dog's owner replies, "I dunno, I've only had him for three years."

[BigPop]

Supreme court case NZ


A seven year old boy was at the centre of a courtroom drama last week when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of the boy.
The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge awarded custody to his aunt.
The boy confirmed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and refused to live there.
When the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents the boy cried out that they beat him more than anyone.
The judge dramatically allowed the boy to choose who should have custody of him.
Custody was granted to the All Black rugby team this morning as the boy firmly believes that they are not capable of beating anyone.

[craigb]

I hope you're right because me 'n' the missus are going out to watch the game with some friends

Geez for the price of a pair of finals tickets you could buy a Jet bandsaw and have change left over :D

(just kidding I'm envious actually)

[silentC]

Craig,

Sorry, didn't make myself clear there. We're not going TO the game, we're going out to watch it, ie. to the local club on the big screen.

There's no way we could afford to buy tickets to the final. I think there's some on EBAY starting at $2000 if anyone is interested.

Sick of drinking Heineken anyway....

;)