Challenge!

[dennford]

I look at this thread when I'm bored or sometimes if I see a title that may interest me. However let me say this without being hurtfull to anyone, whilst there are a few absolutely ripping jokes on the thread the majority are purile to say the least - or at least that's what I thought untill a few moments ago when I heard the most abyssmal joke ever, on radio.

Now the challenge is; how bad can you get - is it possible to get worse than this.

A farmer who for years had been ijnterested in old tractors became bored with them. One day while at the pub in a smoke filled bar he spotted through the smoke an attractive girl, as he approached her he noticed the tears in her eyes, when asked she explained that all the cigarette smoke was irritating her eyes. Without a second thought he took a deep breath, walked outside and exhaled all that filthy smoke. On his return the bar was clear. Of course, she asked "how did you do that"

Wait for it - it's bad


"Oh, thats easy" said he, "Im an ex - tractor - fan"




Now I just defy anyone to find a worse joke than that.

Denn

[Wood Butcher]

That is pretty bad!!!:shakehead:

[Allan at Wallan]

Yeah, I know that particular bloke.

It is Fords son
.. or was it his brother Fergus' son.

Allan

____________________________________

I am not at all worried about dying
... but I just hope I am not there at the time.

[wheelinround]

has a younger brother Hud son

[Ashore]

.. or was it his brother Fergus' son.

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wasn't he the messy one

[Carry Pine]

How about all these joggers and walkers getting out of an afternoon, now that daylight saving has started - and all carrying sticks or little branches. Maybe a cure for their constipation?

With fronds like these, who needs enemas. (SMH Saturday)

CP

[Gra]

Are you certain it wasn't the Indian brother Hender son

(One for the motorcycle boys)

[munruben]

Now I just defy anyone to find a worse joke than that.Denn
That will be difficult for the regular joke tellers to beat, most of our jokes are excellent although some others may have a differing opinion about that. :)

We will do our best to beat it though.:D

[Calm]

Now I just defy anyone to find a worse joke than that.

Denn

Well i would recommend that you read most of Allan's or John's jokes they would qualify without doubt:D:D:D

[Carry Pine]

I loved this one , even before the two Ronnies got hold of it:

Two old ladies in church and one asks the other:

Lady 1: Who is that venereal looking gentleman with the horn-rimmed testicles?

Lady 2; O dear. he's the rectum of our constipation.

CP

[arose62]

My 15 y.o. son's favourite joke is:

"What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?"



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"Where's my tractor?"

:oo:

[Rodgera]

Now there's a dis-tractor

[pawnhead]

My 15 y.o. son's favourite joke is:

"What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?"



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"Where's my tractor?"

:oo:I was thinking about that joke when I read the OP, but that doesn't belong here.

That's a great (http://www.woodworkforums.com/showthread.php?p=570948#post570948) joke, and one of my favourites! :o

It works better as a verbal though, and you have to say the punchline with a slow 'redneck (http://www.3rednecktenors.com/RedneckWedding2.jpg)' drawl for maximum effect.

[fenderbelly]

Last week I crashed into the back of a car. The bloke got out, believe it or not he was a dwarf.
He said, "I AM NOT HAPPY"
I said, "Well which one are you then?"<!--QuoteEnd-->

[dennford]

Last week I crashed into the back of a car. The bloke got out, believe it or not he was a dwarf.
He said, "I AM NOT HAPPY"
I said, "Well which one are you then?"<!--QuoteEnd-->

I bet he was grumpy

Denn

[Repete]

A bear walks into a bar and says, “I want a scotch and............... coke”

The bartender asks “what’s with the huge pause?”

The bear says, “I’ve had them all my life.”

[pawnhead]

A horse walks into a bar and orders a scotch, and the bartender says "Why the long face?"

A three legged dog walks into a bar and says "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw"

Two blondes walk into a bar,,,. You'd think that one of them would have seen it.

[Ashore]

Termite crawles into a bar and said
Where's the Bar Tender

Big guy with a Crocodile on a lead goes into a bar looks at the barman and in a menacing tone said I believe you won't serve catholics here
Nervous barman replied " no sir we serve catholics"
Man replies " good i'll have a beer and give me a catholic for the crock "

[wheelinround]

Big guy with a Crocodile on a lead goes into a bar looks at the barman and in a menacing tone said I believe you won't serve catholics here
Nervous barman replied " no sir we serve catholics"
Man replies " good i'll have a beer and give me a catholic for the crock "

I know where he can get one if short stocked

[Rodgera]

awwh! thats dopey

[rtfarty]

What is the similarity between a crab and 2 Chinese who have been in a car crash?











They are all crustaceans........(crushed asians)

[mic-d]

Three cats were walking along the Seine river when they all fell in and un deux trois quatre cinq :roll:

Cheers
Michael

[Carry Pine]

re the dwarf who was rear-ended and said "I'm not happy"
I bet he was grumpy

Denn

If he was singing the 'good ol' Collingwood forever' it must have been...........................................
...............................


Dopey

[pawnhead]

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?
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>The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall > > asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, We can't tell you. You're not a monk.
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>The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way.

Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery.
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>The monks gain accept him, feed him, and even fix his car..
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>That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier.
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>The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, We can't tell you. You're not a monk.
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>The man says, All right, all right. I'm dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was, is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?
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>The monks reply, You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.
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>The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, I have travele d the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284, 232 blades of grass and 231,281,219, 999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.
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> The monks reply, Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.
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> The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, The sound is right behind that door.
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>The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, Real funny. May I have the key?
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>The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.
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>Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door.
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>The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald,....
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>.......silver, topaz, and amethyst.
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>Finally, the monks say, This is the last key to the last door.
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>The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound.
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>. . . . But I can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk.
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[PS] DONT SWEAR AT ME COS I'M STILL HUNTING FOR THE IDIOT WHO SENT ME THIS !!