Barry Hicks
20th August 2007, 11:28 AM
A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plonks herself down in a chair and lets out a heavy sigh of frustration.
"What troubles you Sister?" asks mother superior. "I thought this was the day you spent with your family?"
"It was," sighed the sister, "And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play as ofter as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Chtist."
"I seem to recall that," the mother superior agreed. "So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?"
"Far from it," snorted the sister. "In fact, I even took the Lord's name in vain today!"
"Goodness, Sister!" gasped the mother superior, astonished. "You must tell me all about it."
"Well, we were on the fifth tee...and this hole is a monster Mother, 540 yard par 5 with a nasty dogleg left and a hidden green. I hit the drive of my life, I creamed it! The sweetest swing I ever made. It's flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted and it hits a bird in mid-flight not 100 yards off the tee."
Oh my!" commiserated the mother superior. "How unfortunate! But surely that didn't make you blaspheme Sister?"
"No, that wasn't it," admitted the sister. "While we were still trying to fathom what happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!"
"Oh, that would have made me blaspheme" sympathised mother.
"But it didn't, Mother Superior." sobbed the sister, "And I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off with my ball still clutched in his paws."
"So that was when you cursed," said the mother superior with a knowing smile.
"No, that wasn't it either," cried the sister, anguished, "Because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel was struggling and the hawk dropped him right there on the green and the ball popped out of his paws and it roll to about 18 inches from the cup!"
Mother superior sat back in her chair, fixed the sister with a baleful stare and said...
"You missed the f***ing putt didn't you?"
"What troubles you Sister?" asks mother superior. "I thought this was the day you spent with your family?"
"It was," sighed the sister, "And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play as ofter as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Chtist."
"I seem to recall that," the mother superior agreed. "So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?"
"Far from it," snorted the sister. "In fact, I even took the Lord's name in vain today!"
"Goodness, Sister!" gasped the mother superior, astonished. "You must tell me all about it."
"Well, we were on the fifth tee...and this hole is a monster Mother, 540 yard par 5 with a nasty dogleg left and a hidden green. I hit the drive of my life, I creamed it! The sweetest swing I ever made. It's flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted and it hits a bird in mid-flight not 100 yards off the tee."
Oh my!" commiserated the mother superior. "How unfortunate! But surely that didn't make you blaspheme Sister?"
"No, that wasn't it," admitted the sister. "While we were still trying to fathom what happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!"
"Oh, that would have made me blaspheme" sympathised mother.
"But it didn't, Mother Superior." sobbed the sister, "And I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off with my ball still clutched in his paws."
"So that was when you cursed," said the mother superior with a knowing smile.
"No, that wasn't it either," cried the sister, anguished, "Because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel was struggling and the hawk dropped him right there on the green and the ball popped out of his paws and it roll to about 18 inches from the cup!"
Mother superior sat back in her chair, fixed the sister with a baleful stare and said...
"You missed the f***ing putt didn't you?"