A Complaint

[Grunt]

I am not writing to agree or disagree with Mr. Al Ozwinner. What I have to say, however, regards Ozwinner's conscious decision to calumniate helpless malcontents. As a preliminary, I want to tell him where he can stick it. In hearing about his adages, one gets the distinct impression that if you were to try to tell his acolytes that when he states a subjective opinion he makes it sound like it is universally accepted as an unquestionable truth, they'd close their eyes and put their hands over their ears. They are, as the psychologists say, in denial. They don't want to hear that Ozwinner likes to quote all of the saccharine, sticky moralisms about "human rights" and the evils of absenteeism. But as soon as we stop paying attention, he invariably instructs his peons to throw us into a "heads I win, tails you lose" situation. Then, when someone notices, the pattern repeats from the beginning. Though this game may seem perverse beyond belief to any sane individual, it makes perfect sense in light of Ozwinner's jaundiced, contumelious taradiddles.
Now there will, no doubt, be viperine curmudgeons out there who will ask, "So what if Ozwinner's functionaries reduce history to an overdetermined, wireframe sketch of what are, in reality, complex, dynamic events? That won't affect me." Such crippled thinking is the best example there is as to why I want to live my life as I see fit. I can't do that while Ozwinner still has the ability to raise extortionate demands. However, when I was younger, I wanted to take up the all-encompassing challenge of freedom, justice, equality, and the pursuit of life with full dignity. I still want to do that, but now I realize that it has been brought to my attention that any day now, his lies will be exposed and the truth can be spread. While this is true, somebody has to get us out of the hammerlock that he is holding us in. That somebody can be you. In any case, Ozwinner would have us believe that his shell games provide a liberating insight into life, the universe, and everything. That, of course, is nonsense, total nonsense. But Ozwinner is surrounded by pestiferous drunks who parrot the same nonsense, which is why we must remove our chains and move towards the light. (In case you didn't understand that analogy, the chains symbolize Ozwinner's loud machinations, and the light represents the goal of getting all of us to make this world a kinder, gentler place.) Contrary to the impression that mealymouthed, snivelling humanity-haters offer "new," "innovative," and "advanced" ideas, there is little new in their suggestions. Some day, I want to raise predatory psychics out of their cultural misery and lead them to the national community as a valuable, united factor. But you don't have to wait for that. What you can do now is talk to everyone you know about the things I've told you in this letter. Use every medium available to you. Use the Internet. Use your telephone. Use radio and newspapers. And whatever you do, never be afraid to speak out against the evil that is Mr. Al Ozwinner.




Make your own complaints (http://www.pakin.org/complaint/)

[RufflyRustic]

errrrr, Huh???? :? :? :?

[ozwinner]

Grunt for PM. :clap3::yippy::photo3:

Al :youcrazy:

[Daddles]

He's been messing with an automatic complaint generator Wendy.

Grunt, I hope Al is amazingly rude to you ... well, more amazingly rude that is normal for that esteemed gentlem... (sorry, I couldn't say it :oo:)

Richard :D

[Daddles]

Grunt for PM. :clap3::yippy::photo3:

Al :youcrazy:

Grunt for Personal Message? Instead of using the internet are we supposed to write PMs down and tie them to his collar? :?

Richard

[bitingmidge]

Some day, I want to raise predatory psychics out of their cultural misery and lead them to the national community as a valuable, united factor.

Now here I was, basking in the warm fuzzy glow of the culmination of another rotation of the earth, under the complete apprehension, (mis, apparently), that some day, all you wanted to raise was chooks!

Nice link though, I have a letter or two to write m'self tonight!

P
:D :D :D

[RufflyRustic]

Oooooo, so not doing this, you make my head hurt Grunt...:rolleyes:

I'm off to enjoy another voddy......:D


cheers
the very naive one.... (hic):p

[rat52]

This must be where political speech writers get their speeches from:rolleyes:

[echnidna]

Maybe Grunt's lobbying for a speech-writers job for the coming commonwealth elections :D

ps Grunt, what did you say? :p

[ozwinner]

In reply.

I am not a diplomat and, as such, I am not fully conversant with the elegant and rarefied language of the diplomatic trade. I have a reputation for saying what I mean and meaning what I say. So I trust that you'll forgive me if I come across as a bit blunt when I state that Mr. Chris Grunt, Jr. doesn't know everything. Let me start by stressing that I am not attempting to suppress anyone's opinions, nor do I intend to demean Grunt personally for his beliefs or worldviews. But I do suspect that I must bear witness to the plain, unvarnished truth.
The justification Grunt gave for seeking to bury our heritage, our traditions, and our culture was one of the most insipid justifications I've ever heard. It was so insipid, in fact, that I will not repeat it here. Even without hearing the details you can still see my point quite clearly: Grunt says he's going to enact new laws forcing anyone who's not one of his apple-polishers to live in an environment that can, at best, be described as contemptuously tolerant in the immediate years ahead. Good old Grunt. He just loves to open his mouth and let all kinds of things come out without listening to how violent they sound. At no time in the past did backwards-to-the-core, incontinent schemers shamble through the streets of cities, demanding rights they imagine some supernatural power has bestowed upon them. Knowledge is the key that unlocks the shackles of bondage. That's why it's important for you to know that if Grunt succeeds in his attempt to fortify a social correctness that restricts experience and defines success with narrow boundaries, it'll have to be over my dead body. For those who need very specific examples in order to grasp the significance of his shenanigans, I'll give a very specific example: Think for a moment about the way that he should work with us, not step in at the eleventh hour and hog all the glory. If we look beyond Grunt's delusions of grandeur, we see that he has two imperatives. The first is to obfuscate the issue so that one can't see what ought to be thoroughly obvious to all. The second imperative is to place our children at imminent risk of serious harm. Grunt's positions are some of the most stinking, footling, and impractical I've ever encountered. Which brings us to the harsh reality that must be faced: Whenever there's an argument about Grunt's devotion to principles and to freedom, all one has to do is point out that Grunt's allegations are exemplary of the forces minorities must fight in their struggle to achieve equal footing with the rest of the community. That should settle the argument pretty quickly.
Grunt's stances are like hothouse plants. They shoot up, but they lack the strength to defy the years and withstand heavy storms. I just want to say that Grunt presents one face to the public, a face that tells people what they want to hear. Then, in private, he devises new schemes to pooh-pooh the reams of solid evidence pointing to the existence and operation of a contemptible coterie of onanism. He is careless with data, makes all sorts of causal interpretations of things without any real justification, has a way of combining disparate ideas that don't seem to hang together, seems to show a sort of pride in his own biases, gets into all sorts of deceitful speculation, and then makes no effort to test out his speculations -- and that's just the short list! Since I don't know Grunt that well, I'll have to be a bit presumptuous when I say that it is not uncommon for him to victimize the innocent, penalize the victim for making any effort to defend himself, and then paint the whole biased affair as some great benefit to humanity. Mr. Chris Grunt, Jr. emits an essence of "lackluster" that is so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics as we know them. Since I don't have anything more to say on that subject, I'll politely get off my soapbox now.

[echnidna]

what are both of you drinking?

[fred.n]

The glue bottles to close to the pot-belly stove, and you guys are
inhailing the fumes, :D Either move the glue, or ventilate the shed :U

[Gumby]

I've been hesitating to write this letter, because I've been afraid that, if I did, Mr. Doggy Dog Grunt, Esq. would do everything in his power to make me turn to a life of crime. But after reading about Mr. Grunt's soulless vituperations, I could hesitate no longer. Note that some of the facts I plan to use in this letter were provided to me by a highly educated person who managed to escape Mr. Grunt's unimaginative, frowzy indoctrination and is consequently believable. What shall we do? We have several options. We might enhance people's curiosity, critical acumen, and aesthetic sensitivity. We might help people break free of Mr. Grunt's cycle of oppression. Or, we might speak out against disrespectful moochers. Any of these options, I feel, are acceptable. Still, we must choose one of them or else Mr. Grunt will subject human beings to indignities one day.
Mr. Grunt sometimes has trouble convincing people that his witticisms are not worth getting outraged about. When he has such trouble, he usually trots out a few stoicism-oriented, cranky brigands to constate authoritatively that there should be publicly financed centers of collectivism. Whether or not that trick of his works, it's still the case that if one believes statements like, "The majority of lackadaisical turncoats are heroes, if not saints," one is, in effect, supporting ophidian, predatory cretins. The time is always right to do what is right. That's why we must decidedly preserve the peace. The first step in that process is to realize that I and Mr. Grunt part company when it comes to the issue of charlatanism. He feels that what I call beer-guzzling misogynists should be fêted at wine-and-cheese fund-raisers, while I aver that he claims that he does the things he does "for the children". Predictably, he cites no hard data for that claim. This is because no such data exist. I feel no more personal hatred for Mr. Grunt than I might feel for a herd of wild animals or a cluster of poisonous reptiles. One does not hate those whose souls can exude no spiritual warmth; one pities them.
At the risk of belaboring the obvious, Mr. Grunt had previously claimed that he had no intention to trick us into trading freedom for serfdom. Of course, shortly thereafter, that's exactly what he did. Next, he denied that he would blend together racism and solipsism in a train wreck of monumental proportions. We all know what happened then. Now, Mr. Grunt would have us believe he'd never ever turn once-flourishing neighborhoods into zones of violence, decay, and moral disregard. Will he? Go figure. My view is that once one begins thinking about free speech, about fatuitous freeloaders who use ostracism and public opinion to prevent the airing of views contrary to their own sleazy beliefs, one realizes that it's debatable whether Mr. Grunt unfairly lambastes people who are trying to do the best they can in a bad situation. However, no one can disagree that we can all have daydreams about Happy Fuzzy Purple Bunny Land, where everyone is caring, loving, and nice. Not only will those daydreams not come true, but his gofers tend to fall into the mistaken belief that he acts in the public interest, mainly because they live inside a Mr. Grunt-generated illusion-world and talk only with each other. I find that I am embarrassed. Embarrassed that some people just don't realize that Mr. Grunt's hypocrisy is transparent. Even the least discerning among us can see right through it. I'll try not to dwell on this, but Mr. Grunt's beliefs are based on hate. Hate, McCarthyism, and an intolerance of another viewpoint, another way of life. My eventual goal for this letter is to plant markers that define the limits of what is execrable and what is not. I'm counting on you for your support.:((

[funkychicken]

Recent troubling developments prompt me to revisit a subject I've discussed in the past: Rabbi I P Freely and his plan to hammer a few more nails into the coffin of freedom. What follows is a call to action for those of us who care -- a large enough number to express our concerns about his closed-minded manuscripts. Even insolent lugs are ashamed of being associated with his villainous reasoning and tactless theories. But even if we disregard all that and examine only his unctuous expostulations, this seems to me to be enough to show that the best thing about him is the way that he encourages us to think outside the box. No, wait; Rabbi Freely doesn't encourage that. On the contrary, he discourages us from admitting that he has never been able to assimilate and accept the humane ideals, civilized aims, and social aspirations of his peers. To pretend otherwise is nothing but hypocrisy and unwillingness to face the more unpleasant realities of life. We can divide his nostrums into three categories: brazen, self-absorbed, and eccentric. I decidedly hope that the truth will prevail and that justice will be served before Rabbi Freely does any real damage. Or is it already too late? In other words, why can't Rabbi Freely live among us in peace? I don't pretend to know the answer, but I do know that whenever there's an argument about Rabbi Freely's devotion to principles and to freedom, all one has to do is point out that antisocial, inane social outcasts differ from each other only in the degree to which they stifle dissent. That should settle the argument pretty quickly.
Rabbi Freely's hangers-on actually believe the bunkum they're always mouthing. That's because these types of petty cowards are idealistic, have no sense of history or human nature, and they think that what they're doing will somehow improve the world in the immediate years ahead. In reality, of course, Rabbi Freely wonders why everyone hates him. Apparently, he never stopped to think that maybe it's because he must have some sort of problem with reading comprehension. That's the only explanation I can come up with as to why he accuses me of admitting that newspapers should report only on items he agrees with. What I actually said is that Rabbi Freely has managed to elude any direct ties to specific acts of negligence -- no small feat considering his history. I trust that I have not shocked any of you by writing that. However, I do realize that some of my readers may feel that much of what I have penned about Rabbi Freely in this letter is heartless and in violation of our Christian duty to love everyone. If so, I can say only that when I'm through with Rabbi Freely, he'll think twice before attempting to tell us how to live, what to say, what to think, what to know, and -- most importantly -- what not to know. Rabbi Freely says that he has his moral compass in tact. That is the most despicable lie I have ever heard in my entire life.
Rabbi Freely has nothing but contempt for you, and you don't even know it. That's why I feel obligated to inform you that he is attracted to antinomianism like a moth to a candle. I mean, think about it. The fact is, to get even the simplest message into the consciousness of the most Pecksniffian gadflies you'll ever see, it has to be repeated at least 50 times. Now, I don't want to insult your intelligence by telling you the following 50 times, but the gloss that his surrogates put on his roorbacks unfortunately does little to stop defending the feral status quo and, instead, implement a bold, new agenda for change. Whatever should be true of statutory and often ephemeral enactments in human jurisprudence, the fact remains that Rabbi Freely's priorities are inverted. That conclusion is not based on some sort of blathering philosophy or on Rabbi Freely-style mental masturbation, but on widely known and proven principles of science. These principles explain that what I find frightening is that some academics actually believe Rabbi Freely's line that his decisions are based on reason. In this case, "academics" refers to a stratum of the residual intelligentsia surviving the recession of its demotic base, not to those seekers of truth who understand that Rabbi Freely's foot soldiers tend to fall into the mistaken belief that two wrongs make a right, mainly because they live inside a Rabbi Freely-generated illusion-world and talk only with each other. In closing this letter, let me point out that I would be remiss if I didn't remind you that Rabbi I P Freely works from the false assumption that most people actually want namby-pamby scatterbrains to shame my name.

[echnidna]

ok
whats the url of the online codswallop generator?

[Iain]

ok
whats the url of the online codswallop generator?

Removing this url as I didn't realise that it actually existed, a bleeding poof site (I posted wankers with a suitable url).
Apologies to all.
Can I try www.codswallop.com ???

[ozwinner]

ok
whats the url of the online codswallop generator?

Look up, up there, keep going..

Al :)

[Grunt]

Because many of the things I'm about to say regarding Queen Gumby P Pigporker, Esq. have already been beaten into the ground, I will try to keep this letter short. But before I continue, allow me to explain that many people have witnessed Gumby blitz media outlets with faxes and newsletters that highlight the good points of his tasteless calumnies. Gumby generally insists that his witnesses are mistaken and blames his fickle antics on deceitful spouters. It's like he has no-fault insurance against personal responsibility. What's more, I like to throw darts at Gumby's picture. I'll say that again, because I want it to sink in: Gumby has mastered the dark arts of diversion and deception. Let no one say that all any child needs is a big dose of television every day. No, this is blasphemous philistinism and must be regarded as an attempt to interfere with the most important principles of democracy. We must instill a sense of responsibility and maturity in those who cause disorderly subversion to gather momentum on college campuses. Our children depend on that. I would like to end on a heartfelt note. Queen Gumby P Pigporker, Esq.'s propositions are attributable to an ignorance born of fear.

[ozwinner]

Removing this url as I didn't realise that it actually existed, a bleeding poof site (I posted wankers with a suitable url).
Apologies to all.
Can I try www.codswallop.com (http://www.codswallop.com) ???

I thought it was one you had bookmarked. :o :doh:

Al :U

[echnidna]

My complaint about The Committee Of Management

While there are probably a lot of people out there who would be quite content never to read another letter about The Committee Of Management, I can't, for the life of me, see why The Committee Of Management wants to wreck our country, derail our civilization, and threaten the human race with extinction. What follows is a series of remarks addressed to the readers of this letter and to The Committee Of Management itself. All kidding aside, I'll tell you what we need to do about all the craziness The Committee Of Management is mongering. We need to wake people out of their stupor and call on them to enhance people's curiosity, critical acumen, and aesthetic sensitivity.

It is true that The Committee Of Management shows a complete lack of foresight, but it doesn't want to acknowledge that it prefers to keep its dastardly agenda hidden behind the cloak of isolationism. In fact, The Committee Of Management would rather block all discussion on the subject. I suppose that's because time cannot change its behavior. Time merely enlarges the field in which The Committee Of Management can, with ever-increasing intensity and thoroughness, rebrand local churches as faith-based emporia teeming with impulse-buy items. The Committee Of Management just keeps on saying, "We don't give a [expletive deleted] about you. We just want to give lunatics control of the asylum." At any rate, The Committee Of Management accuses me of being narrow-minded. Does it aver I'm narrow-minded because I refuse to accept its claim that the boogeyman is going to get us if we don't agree to its demands? If so, then I guess I'm as narrow-minded as I could possibly be.

Just the other day, some of The Committee Of Management's stolid cheerleaders forced a prospectus into my hands as I walked past. The prospectus described The Committee Of Management's blueprint for a world in which atrabilious despots are free to use both overt and covert deceptions to crush the will of all individuals who have expressed political and intellectual opposition to The Committee Of Management's half-measures. As I dropped the prospectus onto an overflowing wastebasket, I reflected upon the way that I do not propose a supernatural solution to the problems we're having with The Committee Of Management. Instead, I propose a practical, realistic, down-to-earth approach that requires only that I criticize its theatrics publically for their formalistic categories, their spurious claims of neutrality, and their blindness to the abuse of private power. We've all heard The Committee Of Management yammer and whine about how it's being scapegoated again, the poor dear. Naturally, The Committee Of Management doesn't want us to know about its plans to convince quasi-harebrained grizzlers that there is absolutely nothing they can do to better their lot in life besides joining it. Otherwise, we might do something about that. Thus, in summing up, we can establish the following: 1) There is no defense against ridicule, and 2) words cannot convey the hurt and despair that I and so many others feel for those who were personally attacked by The Committee Of Management.

[rod@plasterbrok]

LOL had me going!!

[Buzzer]

What's going on?...........Friday thread on a Saturday:D

[echnidna]

nope the one bout the committtee is really accurate

[JDarvall]

:(( Grunt !...Al's a nice bloke. Leave him alone ! honestly.

[Cliff Rogers]

You lot are all starting to sound like bloody Dingo. :D

[JDarvall]

:(( Cliff !...Dingo's a nice bloke. Leave him alone !

[Cliff Rogers]

I didn't say he wasn't a nice bloke, I just inferred that he can waffle. :D

[boban]

Hasn't anyone heard of paragraphs.

And what the hell is going on?

[journeyman Mick]

Hasn't anyone heard of paragraphs.

And what the hell is going on?


If you follow the link at the bottom of the first post (or go here (http://www.pakin.org/complaint/) ) all will be revealed.:D

Mick

[boban]

You bastards,

I cannot believe I read through all that crap. I read for a living, and that was hard work.

My first thoughts were that Oz deleted a thread or post or caught someone SPAMMING the site again and let them have it.

I feel really stupid now as I didn't realise that it was in the Jokes forum.

[rat52]

That's your problem boban, you read for a living.

The rest of us read the 1st few lines, realised it was like a political rant and scrolled to the bottom of the page, found the link, followed it and realised what was happening.

As every one knows, with any political speech, to understand what is being said you only need to read the 1st and last sentences.:rolleyes:

[rrich]

what are both of you drinking?

YES! Definitely I want some too.

Ummmmmmm, has to be some REALLY good stuff.

[munruben]

I thought it was going to be "choose your weapons" behind the churchyard at dawn.:D

[Clinton1]

In light of the upcoming elections I entered a certain politicians name and generated a rant.

It is very interesting to realise that you only need to change a handful of words to make the automatic rant reflect reality. :oo:

I only had to change 7 words out of 380 to make it reasonable and relevant.

Excellent, renews my lack of faith in the political process. :U