Phil Spencer
9th June 2007, 10:38 AM
Kevin Rudd called Julia Gillard into his office one day and said, " Julia I have a great idea! We are going to go all out to win the country voters."
"Good idea Opposition Leader, how will we go about it?" said Julia .
"Well," said Rudd , "we'll get ourselves Driza Bone coats, RM Williams boots, a stick and an Akubra hat, oh and a Blue Cattle dog. Then we will really look the part. We'll go to a typical old outback country pub, we will show we really enjoy the bush."
"Right," said Julia. Days later, all kitted out and with the requisite Blue Heeler, they set off from Canberra in a westerly direction. Eventually they arrived at just the place they were looking for and found a typical outback pub. Walked in with the dog and up to the bar.
"G,day mate," said Rudd , to the bartender, "two middies of your best beer."
"Good afternoon Opposition Leader ," said the bartender, "two middies of our best coming up".
Gillard and Rudd stood leaning on the bar drinking their beer,chatting, and nodding now and again to those who came into the bar for a drink. The dog lay quietly at their feet.
All of a sudden, the door from the front bar opened and in came a grizzled old stockman, complete with stockwhip. He walked up to the Cattle dog, lifted its tail with the whip and looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked back to the front bar.
A few moments later, in came another old stockman with his whip. He walked up to the dog and lifted it's tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and went back to the front bar. Over the course of the next hour or so another four or five stockmen came in, lifted the dogs tail and went away looking puzzled.
Eventually, Rudd and Gillard could stand it no longer and called the Barman over .
"Tell me," said Rudd , "why did all those old stockmen come in and look under the dog's tail like that? Is it an old outback custom?"
"Strewth no!" said the barman. "It's just that someone went 'n told 'em there was a Cattle dog in this bar with two arseholes!"
"Good idea Opposition Leader, how will we go about it?" said Julia .
"Well," said Rudd , "we'll get ourselves Driza Bone coats, RM Williams boots, a stick and an Akubra hat, oh and a Blue Cattle dog. Then we will really look the part. We'll go to a typical old outback country pub, we will show we really enjoy the bush."
"Right," said Julia. Days later, all kitted out and with the requisite Blue Heeler, they set off from Canberra in a westerly direction. Eventually they arrived at just the place they were looking for and found a typical outback pub. Walked in with the dog and up to the bar.
"G,day mate," said Rudd , to the bartender, "two middies of your best beer."
"Good afternoon Opposition Leader ," said the bartender, "two middies of our best coming up".
Gillard and Rudd stood leaning on the bar drinking their beer,chatting, and nodding now and again to those who came into the bar for a drink. The dog lay quietly at their feet.
All of a sudden, the door from the front bar opened and in came a grizzled old stockman, complete with stockwhip. He walked up to the Cattle dog, lifted its tail with the whip and looked underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked back to the front bar.
A few moments later, in came another old stockman with his whip. He walked up to the dog and lifted it's tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and went back to the front bar. Over the course of the next hour or so another four or five stockmen came in, lifted the dogs tail and went away looking puzzled.
Eventually, Rudd and Gillard could stand it no longer and called the Barman over .
"Tell me," said Rudd , "why did all those old stockmen come in and look under the dog's tail like that? Is it an old outback custom?"
"Strewth no!" said the barman. "It's just that someone went 'n told 'em there was a Cattle dog in this bar with two arseholes!"