Wood Butcher
31st January 2007, 07:00 PM
<o:p>>Hamilton Barbie:
>
>This modern day princess homemaker Barbie is available with a Mercedes
>4WD SUV, a Prada handbag and matching Nike Yoga ensemble.She has a
>master's degree and double-majored, but has the luxury of being a
>stay-at-home mum with Ken's generous salary.
>
>Comes with a prozac Prescription and Botox. Coffee Club mug and
>traffic-jamming Blackberry internet/cell phone device sold separately.
>Husband Ken is into fishing, golfing and is often "working late."
>Available at all inner city suburbs Coffee Club retailers.
>
>New Farm Barbie:
>
>This versatile doll can be easily converted from Ken to Barbie by
simply
>adding or removing snap on parts. Walks to work and hangs out at The
>James Street Markets. Likes to "experiment," but will never commit.
>Wears better clothes than all the other dolls on the market and looks
>down on any model not in a european car, preferably a Porsche 4wd or
BWM
>X5. New Farm Barbie is the most critical of the range and spends a
>considerable amount of time at the gym, at the beautician and at the
>cosmetic surgeon.
>
>This model is available Monday - Saturday however is unavailable until
>after 2pm on Sundays, afterwhich time Barbie comes with dark sunglasses
>and depression.
>
>NOTE: Ken is not available for Barbie in the New Farm Range. Ken is
>limited to the Brad, Travis or Tom range only.
>
>St Lucia Barbie:
>
>This Barbie is only sold at David Jones. She comes with an assortment
of
>Gucci handbags, your choice of a BMW convertible or Range Rover and a
>long-haired foreign lapdog named "Honey."
>
>Also available is her cookie-cutter development dream house. Available
>with or without tummy tuck, facelift, and breast augmentation.
>Workaholic, cheating husband, Ken, comes with a Porsche.
>
>
> Eagleby Barbie:
>
>This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, switchblade, '78
>Holden Ute with dark tinted windows, and a meth lab kit.
>
>This model is available only after dark and can only be purchased with
>cash - preferably small bills, unless you're a cop, then we don't know
>what you're talking about. Boyfriend Ken is in jail. Available at
>participating pawn shops.
>
>
>Inala Barbie:
>
>This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie comes with a pair of
>high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased
>Beer-Gut Ken out of Beenleigh Barbie's trailer. Her ensemble includes
>low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, strawberry lip gloss and
a
>see-through halter top.
>
>Purchase her Holden Ute Convertible separately and get Fly Buys points
>absolutely free. Boyfriend Ken is in treatment. Available at any Big W
>Store.
>
>
>Caboolture Barbie:
>
>This tan model comes dressed in her own Levi jeans 2 Sizes too small, a
>"100% Aussie" black T- shirt and the southern cross tattooed on her
>shoulder. She has a six pack of VB and comes with Jimmy Barnes CD's.
>
>She can spit over a distance of 2 metres and kick mullet-haired Ken's
>ass when she is drunk. Also available is the gold-toned cubic zirconium
>ring that Ken gave her after their last big fight. Comes with Barbie's
>Dream fibro house. Available at K-Mart.
>
>
>Morayfield Barbie:
>
>Pregnant at purchase, this Barbie comes with a stroller and bus pass.
>Also included is a 2 litre bottle of Pepsi and a Centrelink cheque.
>
>Construction worker Ken and his '82 Ford ute are optional. Available
>at Target
>
>
> Nimbin Barbie:
>
>This Barbie is made out of recycled plastic and tofu. She has long
>straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no make-up,and
>Birkenstocks with white socks. She does not have, want, or need, a Ken
>doll.
>
>If you purchase the optional combi van, you will receive a free rainbow
>flag sticker. Available all over northern New South Wales .
</o:p>
>
>This modern day princess homemaker Barbie is available with a Mercedes
>4WD SUV, a Prada handbag and matching Nike Yoga ensemble.She has a
>master's degree and double-majored, but has the luxury of being a
>stay-at-home mum with Ken's generous salary.
>
>Comes with a prozac Prescription and Botox. Coffee Club mug and
>traffic-jamming Blackberry internet/cell phone device sold separately.
>Husband Ken is into fishing, golfing and is often "working late."
>Available at all inner city suburbs Coffee Club retailers.
>
>New Farm Barbie:
>
>This versatile doll can be easily converted from Ken to Barbie by
simply
>adding or removing snap on parts. Walks to work and hangs out at The
>James Street Markets. Likes to "experiment," but will never commit.
>Wears better clothes than all the other dolls on the market and looks
>down on any model not in a european car, preferably a Porsche 4wd or
BWM
>X5. New Farm Barbie is the most critical of the range and spends a
>considerable amount of time at the gym, at the beautician and at the
>cosmetic surgeon.
>
>This model is available Monday - Saturday however is unavailable until
>after 2pm on Sundays, afterwhich time Barbie comes with dark sunglasses
>and depression.
>
>NOTE: Ken is not available for Barbie in the New Farm Range. Ken is
>limited to the Brad, Travis or Tom range only.
>
>St Lucia Barbie:
>
>This Barbie is only sold at David Jones. She comes with an assortment
of
>Gucci handbags, your choice of a BMW convertible or Range Rover and a
>long-haired foreign lapdog named "Honey."
>
>Also available is her cookie-cutter development dream house. Available
>with or without tummy tuck, facelift, and breast augmentation.
>Workaholic, cheating husband, Ken, comes with a Porsche.
>
>
> Eagleby Barbie:
>
>This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, switchblade, '78
>Holden Ute with dark tinted windows, and a meth lab kit.
>
>This model is available only after dark and can only be purchased with
>cash - preferably small bills, unless you're a cop, then we don't know
>what you're talking about. Boyfriend Ken is in jail. Available at
>participating pawn shops.
>
>
>Inala Barbie:
>
>This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie comes with a pair of
>high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased
>Beer-Gut Ken out of Beenleigh Barbie's trailer. Her ensemble includes
>low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, strawberry lip gloss and
a
>see-through halter top.
>
>Purchase her Holden Ute Convertible separately and get Fly Buys points
>absolutely free. Boyfriend Ken is in treatment. Available at any Big W
>Store.
>
>
>Caboolture Barbie:
>
>This tan model comes dressed in her own Levi jeans 2 Sizes too small, a
>"100% Aussie" black T- shirt and the southern cross tattooed on her
>shoulder. She has a six pack of VB and comes with Jimmy Barnes CD's.
>
>She can spit over a distance of 2 metres and kick mullet-haired Ken's
>ass when she is drunk. Also available is the gold-toned cubic zirconium
>ring that Ken gave her after their last big fight. Comes with Barbie's
>Dream fibro house. Available at K-Mart.
>
>
>Morayfield Barbie:
>
>Pregnant at purchase, this Barbie comes with a stroller and bus pass.
>Also included is a 2 litre bottle of Pepsi and a Centrelink cheque.
>
>Construction worker Ken and his '82 Ford ute are optional. Available
>at Target
>
>
> Nimbin Barbie:
>
>This Barbie is made out of recycled plastic and tofu. She has long
>straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no make-up,and
>Birkenstocks with white socks. She does not have, want, or need, a Ken
>doll.
>
>If you purchase the optional combi van, you will receive a free rainbow
>flag sticker. Available all over northern New South Wales .
</o:p>