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WoodGirl
26th January 2007, 09:34 PM
<TABLE width="100&#37;" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD vAlign=top width="64%">If you want someone who will do anything to please you, get a dog.


If you want someone who will bring you the newspaper without tearing through it first for the sports page, get a dog.



If you want someone who'll make a total fool of himself because he's glad to see you, get a dog.


If you want someone who eats whatever you put in front of him and never says his mother made it better, get a dog.


If you want someone who never touches the remote, couldn't care less about Monday Night Football, and watches dramatic movies with you as long as you want, get a dog.


If you want someone who'll be content just to snuggle up and keep you warm in bed, and whom you can kick out of bed if he slobbers and snores, get a dog.


If you want someone who never criticizes anything you do, doesn't care how good or bad you look, acts as though every word you say is worth hearing, never complains, and loves you unconditionally all the time, get a dog.


On the other hand...If you want someone who never comes when you call him, totally ignores you when you walk in the room, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, prowls around all night and comes home only to eat and sleep all day, and acts as though you are there only to see that He's happy...


Get a CAT!






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johnc
26th January 2007, 11:05 PM
Hmmmm, the cat came as a surprise. Mind you if you wanted someone witty, charming and considerate, will do anything asked etc, would that be a man? just wanted to know your thoughts woodgirl as your post went right over my head:2tsup:

John

AlexS
27th January 2007, 09:55 AM
The bait's out there, who's going to have a nibble?:rolleyes:

Cliff Rogers
27th January 2007, 10:02 AM
Now lets not get catty. :p

WoodGirl
27th January 2007, 10:29 AM
Mind you if you wanted someone witty, charming and considerate, will do anything asked etc, would that be a man?

Do they make 'em like that? :D :wink:

Cheers

echnidna
27th January 2007, 10:32 AM
woof woof :wink:

JDarvall
27th January 2007, 10:37 AM
:D some incredible unrealistic expectations on men.....

We're supposed to have enough time to be excellent at EVERYTHING.....or else your out...... We need to sleep to uno. ....

women out there like that too I've noticed. Sneering about how some men are bastards because they scratch there #### the wrong way or something stupid like that .......

Grunt
27th January 2007, 10:41 AM
Sorry WoodGirl,

I'm already married.

Woof, Woof.

fred.n
27th January 2007, 10:41 AM
We all need to chip in and get WoodGirl a dog:D

But which type:?..............a Boxer??

johnc
27th January 2007, 08:42 PM
:rolleyes:
Do they make 'em like that? :D :wink:

Cheers

Nearly all of us (blokes) on the forum think we are like that, it just that some women find our charms a bit harder to find than others. SWMBO thinks she is still unable to find them, but we wont go there.:rolleyes:

journeyman Mick
27th January 2007, 11:21 PM
................women out there like that too I've noticed. Sneering about how some men are bastards because they scratch there #### the wrong way or something stupid like that .......

Jake,
if, like me, you learn how to scratch your #### properly you will no longer be sneered at.:D

Mick

Shedgirl
28th January 2007, 12:18 AM
Actually, the description of the dog sounds a lot like my rather nice husband. Except for the bit about the remote control, of course. But we fixed him. We found a really good hiding place for that.:D

fred.n
28th January 2007, 11:41 AM
Except for the bit about the remote control, of course. But we fixed him. We found a really good hiding place for that.:D

:2tsup: :2tsup: Nice

Howdya do that
28th January 2007, 08:30 PM
So if you have a dog instead of a man, do you have batteries instead of foreplay.:D

Iain
28th January 2007, 09:36 PM
fore-play, isn't that golf???

SPIRIT
28th January 2007, 09:56 PM
foreplay isn't that 2 hrs of begging:oo:

johnc
28th January 2007, 10:33 PM
I have been reliably informed that even four hours of begging will not constitute foreplay. refer SWMBO user manual for instructions. The penalty for such an infraction of the rules can be severe loss of user rights so I am told.

SPIRIT
28th January 2007, 10:47 PM
where can l get one of them user manuals things l tried to work them out with no luck

johnc
29th January 2007, 08:23 AM
The user manual doesn't tell you how to work them out, just gives the penalties for when you fail, again, and again and again. :D

SPIRIT
29th January 2007, 05:30 PM
just need to know where is the the volume switch:rolleyes: