Dumb things I've done

[silentC]

Last night, I cooked up some Veal Marsala. For anyone who doesn't know, the sauce is made from butter and Marsala, which is a fortified red wine from, you guessed it, Marsala.

Anyway, we finished up dinner and SWMBO took the plates to the kitchen. A bit later I went out to get another glass of red and I spied the frying pan still sitting on the stove with some of the sauce still in it. "I'll 'ave some of that" I thought to my self, so I went over and wiped my finger through it and whacked it in my gob.

My first thought was "hmm, that didn't taste as good cold as it did warm". Then I thought "that really tastes quite ordinary". This quickly changed to "that tastes absolutely disgusting, how did we eat that?"

I went back over to have a closer look at the pan. "Hmm, what's that purple tinge I can see in there? It looks like detergent." The love of my life had been out to the kitchen and squirted some dish washing detergent in the pan intending to fill it with hot water to soak but had gotten distracted and walked off half way through the job.

I suppose she wasn't to know but why does she have to laugh so much?

[Lignum]

Went away over Xmass and bought a monthly unlimited pre-paid dial up voucher for the net, and it was handed to me with the recipt (got it from the supermarket) and yes, i threw the recipt in the bin on the way out:doh:

[AlexS]

I suppose she wasn't to know but why does she have to laugh so much?

Because that's what they do!:rofl:

[Shedhand]

i got married...twice... dumb and dumber...:C

[Wongo]

My aftershave balm looks like a tube of toothpaste. You figure out the rest.:-

[silentC]

Well that'll serve you right for owning (or even admitting to owning) an aftershave balm :p

Balm is one of those words that if you say it over and over it starts to sound like a nonsense word. Balm balm balm balm balm. See, what a silly word it is :wink:

[Wongo]

Well I didn’t buy it. It was given to me for fathers day. What you gonna do? Take it back and exchange it for a piece of soap??:doh:

[silentC]

Well I didn’t buy it
Yeah right, heard it before. You metrosexual you :p

[Driver]

I suppose she wasn't to know but why does she have to laugh so much?

Are you kidding? I'm p1ssing meself and I've only heard about it from you! :D :hihi:

[silentC]

Yes I'm sure she'll get more mileage out of it over the ensuing months.

It's nearly lunch time, I might ask her what she's planning to poison me with today :D

[Howdya do that]

Well that'll serve you right for owning (or even admitting to owning) an aftershave balm :p

Balm is one of those words that if you say it over and over it starts to sound like a nonsense word. Balm balm balm balm balm. See, what a silly word it is :wink:
Balm would have to be one those words "Chaps" use.
I think driver should add it to the code of practice.

[Shedhand]

I use after shave balm....what's wrong with that :?

[martrix]

My aftershave balm looks like a tube of toothpaste. You figure out the rest.:-

So does a tube of Deep Heat when you're well phizzed.:-

[Felder]

My aftershave balm looks like a tube of toothpaste. You figure out the rest.:-

So did you brush your face or shave your teeth? :?

[Cliff Rogers]

I was at the markets last Saturday buying bananas when the phone rang.... when SWMBO finds out where I am & what I'm doing I get instructed to buy some mangos for chutney while I'm there, anyway.... this bloke has about 57 (well, at least 8) different kinds of mango & some a ripe now & some are still green & some are better for cooking & & & & after trying half a dozen different types, I pay for 10 mangos & a bunch of bananas & toddle off home.
When I get home I unpack the bag & there are... 10 mangos. D'oh :doh:

Looks like I've done me 'nanas. :((

[silentC]

I use after shave balm....what's wrong with that :?
If you have to ask, you'll never understand :p

[Wongo]

So did you brush your face or shave your teeth? :?


Look I really don't have time for you guys. I am going to my hairdressers and then meet up with Ian Thorpe at Starbucks

[Felder]

Look I really don't have time for you guys. I am going to my hairdressers and then meet up with Ian Thorpe at Starbucks

Don't forget your man-bag. :cool:

[silentC]

Or your manssiere

[AlexS]

So does a tube of Deep Heat when you're well phizzed.:-

No, a tube of Deep Heat feels like Vaseline in the dark. Figure THAT out!

[squashedfrog1]

Owwwwwww.

[Eddie Jones]

Well that'll serve you right for owning (or even admitting to owning) an aftershave balm :p

Balm is one of those words that if you say it over and over it starts to sound like a nonsense word. Balm balm balm balm balm. See, what a silly word it is :wink:

Balm???? That's a dangerous animal that is! Quick, throw it in the pond!

(Acknowledgements to Brian's Mum)

[echnidna]

Hasn't balm got sumthin to do wif the pommie cricket team?

[SPIRIT]

dunb thing l have done at 40yrs still think l can ride a bmx over jumps
boy and his mates pissing them self laughing on my back l say im hurt,, boy jabs me a bit with toe and said get off the track
watching from the car after that

[scooter]

Look I really don't have time for you guys. I am going to my hairdressers and then meet up with Ian Thorpe at Starbucks


:D:D

[E. maculata]

dunb thing l have done at 40yrs still think l can ride a bmx over jumps


Mine just laughs at how slow I am, showed him I bought another race bike for myself that is just as slow as the first.


Oh and MYO (disinfectant) looks remarkably like mouthwash.......................

Burns like..................................

[ozwinner]

We went to one of them in vogue hippy restaurants and the waiter person brings a bowl of what I thought was nibbles to our table, so I bogged into them..:o

How was I supposed to know it was the pot pourie to make the place smell nice. :doh:

I was spitting seeds and flowers for ages after.

Al :U

[Driver]

How was I supposed to know it was the pot pourie to make the place smell nice. :doh:

I was spitting seeds and flowers for ages after.

Al :U

That is GOLD!!! :rofl: :hihi: :lcry:

[imdusty]

My friend's Dad found out the preparation H looks like toothpaste when you wake up hung over.

[Rossluck]

My best one was when I tried a sauna for the first time. They had these little platforms that you rest your head on when you lie on your back. My brilliant mind quickly decided that these were seats.

The first person that came in did a double-take when they saw me perched uncomfortably on my little seat, and then proceeded to lie down and, glancing meaningfully at me, slipped one under his head.

I continued sitting for the few minutes required to indicate to him that I knew what I was doing and chose to use it as a seat, then quietly left. I've never been in another sauna since.

[scooter]

In my first week as a Jim's Mowing fella, I cut off a water meter with a brushcutter...:oo::cool:

[Big Shed]

What did you do in the second week?:D

[Sir Stinkalot]

When I was a younger we had meat loaf for dinner. After we had finished I say a little blob of what I thought was meat loaf on the bench. I ate it as quick as a flash only to find out a few moments later that it was cat food. :(

[Iain]

Adding bleach at the end of a long cooked curry doesn't tatse as good as vinegar.
Which is why I never buy 'no name' products that share same bottles, bloody SWMBO.
However, the pizza that night was good.

[JDarvall]

I push on doors that say pull......and pull on doors that say push a lot.

[stevebaby]

Well that'll serve you right for owning (or even admitting to owning) an aftershave balm :p

Balm is one of those words that if you say it over and over it starts to sound like a nonsense word. Balm balm balm balm balm. See, what a silly word it is :wink:
Say it really fast and it gets even sillier.
It's addictive...but I know you'll all do it anyway.:D

[Termite]

Went to watch my grandson play cricket this morning and at the first good shot I started to clap.........completely forgetting that I had both carpal tunnels operated on a week ago. :C:C:C

[q9]

I was making coffee one morning at work...obviously needed it...we had the little UHT milks they put in the rooms. So anyways, I put the sugar and coffee in the cup, then open the UHT (actually it was 2 of them) and proceed to pour BOTH (as in one after the other) directly into the bin and I throw the empty containers in afterwards...:2tsup:

I am not, repeat NOT, a morning person!

[q9]

I push on doors that say pull......and pull on doors that say push a lot.

I find it takes me around 15 minutes to get through a door that says pull...

[Doughboy]

As a chef I have seen some doozies and unfortunately had two happen to me.

First one I had served a freshly cooked Sticky Date Pudding (made from a long departed relatives recipe) with my own Butterscotch Sauce, again a fresh batch had been made. It looked pretty nice on the plate and to finish it off I thought some icing sugar might do nicely .... and out it goes only to be returned in a few minutes complaining that it tasted aweful and maybe I should make a new batch. I was rather dark as it is one of my signature dishes. So I taste it, then throw it quietly in the bin and hurriedly serve another piece and send out. this time without the icing sugar or should i say bi-carb soda that had mistakenly been put in the shaker. Man that tasted disgusting.

The second time we were serving a function (50th b'day I think from memory) it was an easy one 200 people. Two entrees, two mains and two desserts all served alternatively so no hassles nice and easy .... you would think. Cannot remember the entrees or the desserts but the mains were Roasted Lamb Rump with cranberry Glaze and accompaniments or North Qld Baby Barramundi grilled, served with lemon butter and accompaniments. I served about a dozen and had a return on the fish. It was still in the plastic wrap that they are packed in. The apprentice had missed it in the preparation phase. The one saving grace that it was one of the owners friends that got it and the worst part about it was that it was one of the owners friends that got it.

That week I had some very fast talking to do to the big kahuna. He ended up laughing about it after he had got some distance out of my predicament.

Pete

[Malibu]

Had a friend over a while ago and offered her coffee... I thought I'd pass on the coffee and indulge in a scotch & coke instead.

(yaking and listening all the time)

Boil the water, coffee in the cup, sugar... out with the scotch and into the glass.

(yak, yak, yak... listen, listen, listen)

Off I go to the fridge and get the milk and coke...

(yak, yak, yak, listen, listen, listen)

Naturally, the milk goes in with the scotch, doesn't it?
Because that's where I put it :-

(yak, yak, yak......... silence)

[rrich]

Naturally, the milk goes in with the scotch, doesn't it?
Because that's where I put it :-


In my youth, a doctor advised me to mix my scotch with milk due to an ulcer.

It ain't that bad. :p

[AlexS]

In my youth, a doctor advised me to mix my scotch with milk due to an ulcer.

It ain't that bad. :p

I didn't realise straight milk was bad for an ulcer.

[Zed]

once when a mere whipper snapper..

chinese resaurtaunt,

bloke next to me orders the hottest chilli,

I think its sweet & sour. scoop it onto me prawn (*****BIG DOB****)

throw up in the bathroom fo the next 30 mins with exploding mouth.

what a wanka...!!:D

[Rookie]

My friend's Dad found out the preparation H looks like toothpaste when you wake up hung over.

Yeah yeah I know. Now he's got receding gums and a ring of confidence. :C

Boom Boom