Discombobulator

[Flowboy]

Here it is, the Veritas new and improved small furry mammal (sfm)discombobulator. Useful on feral cats, small dogs that go yap in the night, possums and jackalopes. (Initial testing performed on hoop snakes.)
Not suitable for the wily and cunning Greater Victorian Grey Drop Bear.
Level of discombobulation is totally user defined, though discretion is advised.
Discomombobulated sfm's may be moved safely to a better, more appropriate space, say neighbours roof, or allowed to come to for a further dose of discombobulation.
Just waving this at the Scanner gives an increase in productivity and quality of scan that has to seen to be truly believed.

Regards,

Rob

[martrix]

.........classic.:lbs:

So, have you done much Gonzo journalism (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gonzo_journalism)before?:Smoker: :bubbles:

[scooter]

Every post, matrix, every post...


:rolleyes: ;)

[lesmeyer]

I own such a piece of equipment myself. (Ex LV of course). Often use it as a gentle persuader.:D
Les

[dadpad]

Will it work on chooks that refuse to lay?

I have a tool that my grandfather gave me which I lean against the chookpen fence. This usually impresses said birds to increase productivity. It has a large metal head which is tapered on one edge so it forms a wedge. I dont know what it is called. SWMBO reckons it is an axe and I should use it to cut wood for the fire but i think doing so may damage it. Its an hairloom piece and I really don't want to take chances with it. Do you think she is right?

PS she is rather good with my tool and other blunt instruments so I dunno. mebey I should listen to her.

[Flowboy]

Hi Dadpad,
Without seeing a pic, I would say that you probably have an early example of the Fine Edged Timber Incision Device/Farmyard Motivator. (FETID-FM)
These have a long history here and abroad. They appear in many Westerns, though only the sharp eye would identify them. Typically, a character such as Chuck Connors or Squint Eastwood, would be supposedly chopping wood as an old friend would come to rally his help in the local Good v Evil fight. You would never see the actual chopping as this is not the primary purpose of the device. (Just another example of Americans changing history without regard for the truth)
In early Australia, men would take these with them as they left the 'stead to "get some firewood mum", when they were obviously on their way to the pub
As colonisation expanded, the FETID-FM was also the only real weapon which farmers had to fight off the then very prevalant Greater Victorian Grey Drop Bear. Losing the FETID-FM, meant the 'stead was in "more strife than the early settlers"
It also found use for pushing snakes back into the bush. A snake, already annoyed would be forced back into bush using the extremely sharp FETID-FM, often ending up with lacerations on its back. Hence the term "mad as a cut snake".
In the farmyard, the FETID_FM proved a powerful motivator for all beasts at the 'stead. Stallions would cringe at the sight, while chooks would file straight to the nesting boxes and would not move until the FETID-FM was taken away. This could have repurcussions as failure to remove the FETID-FM would leave huge piles of eggs and chooks unable to walk for days!
Sheep also knew crutching as something all together different.

So, short of losing your head over this or feeling emasculated, I would suggest this piece of Australian history should be preserved and either a child of the union or a purveyor of fine firewood (several of which reside on this site) provide the actual firewood for your use.

Regards

Rob

[Grunt]

I want to know if you can discombobulate something can you combobulate it later?

[Flowboy]

Hi Grunt,

A discombobulated animal or indeed individual, can be recombobulated in two ways.
1. Allow it to sit in a quiet spot undisturbed for some time and it will combobulate. (A bit like dis and re gruntling)
2. The second involves a new set of brushes, set of Whitworth AF spanners from the Koalaboy Joy Luck Tool Company and an enthusiasm for getting wet (with or without the speckled hen.) This method is risky but much more fun.

[Grunt]

That makes me quite disgruntled.

[Gra]

That makes me quite disgruntled.

Well I have never been gruntled, so I can never get disgruntled....:D

Maybe I should return to the Friday thread

[outback]

I hought yoy had your gruntles knocked out years ago. :q