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Driver
15th May 2003, 02:55 PM
Hear me, O Pilgrims and I will tell you a tale of the desert.

In days long ago, there was a man who needed to travel from Al Khobar in the east of the Arab lands to Salalah on the Arabian Sea in the south. This is a long journey of many leagues. The latter part of the route passes across the sweeping sand dunes and great gravel plains of the Rhûb al Khali, the Empty Quarter where no water exists. The man knew this and he knew too that he would die a terrible death in the arid wasteland if he was not wise and cunning in his plans.

So he took himself to the bazaar and there he enquired after camels. A man said to him:

“Hie ye, O Pilgrim, to the stockade of Abdul of the Camels for he is rich in camels and rich too in the lore of the desert. Abdul of the Camels will supply you with all your needs for this great journey to the tents of the Beni Dhofari at Salalah.”

So he went thence to the stockade of Abdul of the Camels and lo, there was an abundance of the noble beasts in many different sizes and hues. He greeted Abdul wishing him peace and they sat and drank tea together. And Abdul said:-

“For your journey you will need four camels. One will bear you and your weapon. Two will each bear water for three days and one, more mighty than the others, will bear food for ten days and water for four days.”

And the traveller said: “By my reckoning this means I will have water enough for ten days. Will this suffice?”

“Inshallah, it will suffice,” said Abdul. “Your journey will last for fifteen days. In the early part of your journey you will travel from one oasis to the next and water will be plentiful. Our brothers the Bedouin will provide your food. Only when you traverse the Empty Quarter will you need your food store and more water. Then the water you carry will sustain you. Ten days water will suffice, O Pilgrim.”

They paused and both drank tea. Then spake Abdul again.

“There is a peril in your journey, O Pilgrim. The peril lies within the minds of your camels. As you make your way from oasis to oasis in the early part of your journey they will have much water and they may not drink so deeply. The camels do not know the Empty Quarter. To cross the gravel plains they need to store many times more water than they know. Else they will die and you will die too in the Empty Quarter with no camel to bear you. Your camels need to drink deeply from the last well at Al Ain.”

“Then I will urge them to drink deeply.” said the traveller.

“It is good.” said Abdul. “And you must brick them.”

“Brick them? What means this?”

“When they have almost drunk their fill,” said Abdul of the Camels. “Take ye two bricks and stepping behind each camel, clap the bricks together about the scrotum. This will cause the camel to take in a great draught and the extra water will serve you and the camels well in your journey.”

The man wiped water from his eyes with the edge of his keffiyeh and he said: “This bricking, does it not hurt?”

“Only,” said Abdul of the Camels, “if you trap your thumbs between the bricks.”

Iain
15th May 2003, 05:11 PM
Ah, Abdul of the camels, would thou please consider bricking or gelding the source of this long winded torment.
An oldie and a goodie but Please get to the point sooner:(

DaveInOz
15th May 2003, 05:15 PM
Don't listen to him Driver the detail was the bit I loved, very clever. :D

Iain
16th May 2003, 08:47 AM
Yes it was well and cleverly written, but I thought it was leading up to the female camel joke.
I still maintain that if I told this on one of our fishing trips I would be assaulted by a hail of empty beer cans:p

Eastie
16th May 2003, 11:13 AM
Wow - just found there's a maximum of 10,000 characters per post ! Iain, you have escaped my wonderful camel storey of 23,876 characters.

Auzzie turner
18th July 2006, 02:32 PM
too long

Felder
18th July 2006, 02:40 PM
too long

Especially considering you have just dragged it over three years, Auzzie....;)

Auzzie turner
18th July 2006, 02:42 PM
I know, sorry, Just saw the date of the first post. I found the post by clicking on the link tom it from down the bottom of the page

Eddie Jones
18th July 2006, 02:57 PM
Which reminds me......

Ever wonder why camels are called "ships of the desert"?

Felder
18th July 2006, 02:58 PM
Which reminds me......

Ever wonder why camels are called "ships of the desert"?

Don't do it, Eddie........we will go Orange very quick :D:D:D

Driver
18th July 2006, 03:23 PM
too long

Too late!

Iain
18th July 2006, 04:50 PM
Don't do it, Eddie........we will go Orange very quick :D:D:D
What's wrong with 'full of Saudi Navy Employee's?':rolleyes:

Eddie Jones
19th July 2006, 12:59 PM
Don't do it, Eddie........we will go Orange very quick :D:D:D

Lots of oranges where I live.

Ummm.....Maybe that's why they call them Navals??

Rocker
19th July 2006, 05:17 PM
Squire,

This tale reminds me of a song that is greatly loved by rugger b*ggers, and rowing types; it tells how the ship of the desert got its hump, and why the Sphinx smiles inscrutably:)

Rocker

Driver
19th July 2006, 05:21 PM
Squire,

This tale reminds me of a song that is greatly loved by rugger b*ggers, and rowing types; it tells how the ship of the desert got its hump, and why the Sphinx smiles inscrutably:)

Rocker

....But can you remember the chorus and its connection with a well-known brand of writing paper?

Rocker
19th July 2006, 05:44 PM
....But can you remember the chorus and its connection with a well-known brand of writing paper?

I am afraid I only know the first verse, as sung by the Women's Rugby Club of the University of Idaho, http://www.uidaho.edu/clubs/womens_rugby/RugbyRoot/rugby/Songs/camel.html

Rocker

Driver
19th July 2006, 06:39 PM
I am afraid I only know the first verse, as sung by the Women's Rugby Club of the University of Idaho, http://www.uidaho.edu/clubs/womens_rugby/RugbyRoot/rugby/Songs/camel.html

Rocker

I can't be absolutely certain about this but I suspect that you may have committed a Code violation! :D :rolleyes: ;)

I also suspect that your links to this ditty may be stronger than the reference to the University of Idaho Women's Rugby Club seems to imply. How, for example, do you know about its popularity amongst aficionados of both rugby and rowing? Hmmm? Enquiring (and suspicious) minds would like to know!

Rocker
19th July 2006, 07:24 PM
OK, OK, I admit it; 51 years ago, when I was young and foolish, I rowed as bow in my college's 5th eight (the most incompetent eight oarsmen in the college). But, mainly because we had a few Rhodes scholars from the US in the engine-room, we came within a whisker of bumping in four consecutive races. If we had succeeded on the last day, I would have had an oar adorning my wall.

Rocker

Driver
19th July 2006, 08:04 PM
Ah, youth! Wasted on the young, of course.

However, bearing in mind your (admittedly fairly ancient) connections to the rowdy excesses of sporting companionship, I'm surprised that you can't remember the chorus - which dwelt upon the dubious habits of one Basil and his boyfriend Don.

In my own case it's nearly 40 years since I last roared out that song about the Camel and the Sphinx. It was a favourite at my old rowing club's annual Hot-Pot Supper- a gruesome and raucous event during which the club's members, young and old, were wont to disgrace themselves to the extent that our Hot-Pot Supper was eventually banned from every suitable licensed hostelry within a sizable circumference.

We managed to make a booking in the guise of a local chapter of the Womens' Institute. The landlord wasn't thrilled when he realised who we actually were and, with much dire warning about the consequences of horseplay, he reluctantly allowed us in.

Things were going well and a decorous ambience was being maintained when we sat down to eat. Our president, a greatly respected local dentist, stood to make a brief speech of welcome ahead of the serving of bowls of hot-pot.

"Gentlemen," he said. "We are fortunate to have been permitted to enter these premises this evening. As you know, it is a regrettable truth that we had to resort to a subterfuge in order to secure a booking. This situation has come about because of the quite disgraceful behaviour exhibited by the Club on previous occasions. I trust that there will be no repeat this evening.

In particular, I absolutely forbid you to throw food ..."

He got no further. His speech was interrupted by a fusillade of bread rolls which struck him about the head and shoulders. His response was to carefully select a bowl of hot-pot from the tray held by a waitress standing alongside him. He hurled the bowl's contents down the table.

Shortly thereafter, the local constabulary arrived in strength. Or so I am told. Along with most of the rest of the Club, I had by that time departed the venue, my club blazer extravagantly decorated with hot-pot and beer.

It probably will not surprise you to learn that there followed a hiatus in the schedule of the Club's annual Hot-Pot Suppers that lasted some years.

Ah, youth! Wasted on the young.

Col the Nostalgic

AlexS
19th July 2006, 09:01 PM
Ah, nostalgia. It ain't what it used to be.