WoodyKnot
18th October 2006, 08:29 PM
"No honey, I don't feel like it tonight...." This was written by a
guy... it's pretty damn smart. Girls -- Have a sense of humour!
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so much. And I have never figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
Why do men think with their heads and women with their hearts?
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening a few days ago, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
The passion started to heat up, and she eventually said, "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT??!! What was
that?!" So she said those words that every boyfriend on the planet
dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough,
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to
sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off from work to
spend time with her. We went out for lunch and then we went shopping
at a big department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
different, VERY expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each
outfit." We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out
a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She
must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to
think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis racket when
she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She
was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is
all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
"WHAT?"
I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for
me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had
this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just
love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not making love tonight either...
guy... it's pretty damn smart. Girls -- Have a sense of humour!
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so much. And I have never figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
Why do men think with their heads and women with their hearts?
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening a few days ago, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
The passion started to heat up, and she eventually said, "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me." I said, "WHAT??!! What was
that?!" So she said those words that every boyfriend on the planet
dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough,
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to
sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off from work to
spend time with her. We went out for lunch and then we went shopping
at a big department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
different, VERY expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each
outfit." We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out
a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She
must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to
think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis racket when
she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She
was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is
all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
"WHAT?"
I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for
me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had
this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just
love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not making love tonight either...