Fed up with telemarketers....

[AlexS]

...so I'm fighting back. Feel free to copy and use.


Dear Sir,

I have today received a telemarketing call from your organization.

As I work from home, and it is extremely inconvenient to disrupt the production process or my brief leisure time to take these calls, I have now found it necessary to introduce a charge of $50 and a further charge of $5 per minute after the first three minutes, for answering all soliciting, telemarketing and survey calls including free offers, special discounts, cheap telephone plans, free real estate valuations or political speeches. I very much regret having to do this, but since I can’t seem to prevent calls any other way, it is necessary. In future, any such calls from your organization to my number, 1234 5678, will be invoiced at this rate, and payment will be pursued.

You may, of course, avoid this charge, by simply not phoning me. However, if you feel the need to pay someone to listen to you, then by all means call me, but please have your cheque book ready.

Yours sincerely,



AlexS

PS: Felder, this does not apply to you. You may call me with a free offer at absolutely no charge.;)

[craigb]

Fair enough too.

How will you know who to send it to though?

[Auzzie turner]

Just sent it to ****** ***********. Hope to get a reduction in these phone calls:)

[AlexS]

How will you know who to send it to though?

Suck 'em in by making it seem like I'm interested. I've had two in the last two days that are local companies. Prolly won't work with our sub-continental phone plan people though.

[Stuart]

But they are still trying to sell local product - hit them with it!

When is that register goign to be set up where we can declare that no unsolicited calls are allowed (and not the one we have to pay for)

[pawnhead]

Suck 'em in by making it seem like I'm interested. I've had two in the last two days that are local companies. Prolly won't work with our sub-continental phone plan people though.That sounds like a lot of work. I just tell them that I'm interested, then say "Hang on a minute, there's someone at the door", then I just leave the phone off the hook for a while. ;)

[Auzzie turner]

This is an actual conversation I had the other night (during tea time might I add)

(ring ring!!)

Me: Hello? Joash Speaking

Hello, my name is Mr. spamm... I mean Mr. ottaman

Me: Oh great, how are you?

Telemarketer: err, That is very wonderful to here

Me: Yes, thank you

Telemarketer: I am wondering if you would like to know how to have cheaper phone calls?

Me: Where are you calling from?

Telemarketer: paaauuuse.....umm, I am calling from Melbourne

Me: Oh: so what is it that there is always a long pause?

Telemarketer: Weeell, it is this phone.

Me: Well, if your phone is'nt working, why can't you fix yours before you try and sell me one.

Telemarketer: Ahhhh, well if you must know, I am calling from India

Me: Oh! What is the weather like over there?

Telemarketer: Yes, it is very good. Now as I was saying...

Me: Is it hot or cold over there?

Telemarketer: Oh, it is a very nice day, now I can....

Me: Well, I am sorry, but I am not interested

Telemarketer: Oh yes, but I can offer you best deal

Me: So what car do you drive?

Telemarketer: ahhhh well, I do not have a car, now......

Me: Well, how did you get to work?

Telemarketer: I am sorry, now can we just.......

Me: Look mate, I AM NOT INTERESTED!!

Telemarketer: ohh but you will be........

Me: I am sorry, but you won't be, because as you will know, I am not the owner, you have just been talking to a 14 year old.

Telemarketer: Beep Beep Beep

Me: Hello? Hello?

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

[Honorary Bloke]

When is that register goign to be set up where we can declare that no unsolicited calls are allowed (and not the one we have to pay for)

We set up the Do Not Call registry here about 2 years ago and I must say it has worked wonders. Of course you still get a few because charities are exempted, as are companies with which you already have a business relationship (e.g., your bank). But it cut out about 90% of them and has been a real blessing. Push your legislators to get with it. ;)

[Harry72]

This is cool, its an audio file have a listen... you'll love it!

http://media.putfile.com/Telemarketers-Nightmare

[fxst]

I do it easy nowdays I answer and if its a tele marketer or dead silence after I say hello I hang up ...no angst no stress
Pete

[lesmeyer]

This is cool, its an audio file have a listen... you'll love it!

http://media.putfile.com/Telemarketers-Nightmare
Very funny:)
Les

[journeyman Mick]

I've recently started using the threat of harrasment charges against telemrketers, or rather, the companies they represent. I ask them to explain clearly who it is that they're representing, I jot this down and the time and date. Then I tell them that they are to tell their supervisor that I do not wish to ever recieve any more calls from them and that they had better make a note to this effect in their system. I tell them that if anyone from their organisation should ever make an unsolicited call to me again I will view this as harrassment, which is illegal via telephone under the federal telecommunications act (not sure of the exact title, but it seems to get through to them). I stress to them that it is a federal offence and not a civil matter and that I will vigorously pursue their being charged. I tell them that I've logged the time and date of the call and the name of the company for future reference. seems to be working so far, but if it doesn't, well I'll get great satisfaction in having them charged.:cool: :D

Mick

[woodsprite]

Yeah, the blighters plague me about 4 times a week and I am usually rude before I hang up.
But Iwas wondering - I have been called several tiems by a bloke from one of those Gold Coast thouroughbred horse racing betting mobs. The deal is I invest a bucket of money with them, they promise to send me their computer-selected winners for each Saturday. I start off with a $500 bank with the TAB and bet 6% of whatever the bank balance is, and return the winnings to the bank, and then 'invest' another 6% the next race day. Guy said the computer is currently returning$1200.00 a race day and has been for the past 13 weeks.
Anybody had anything to do with this type of setup? Today, after a think and a look at the racing scams on the net, I faxed back a letter asking why, if this system was so good, was the guy who has been ringing me, still working for a living, and why on earth any company would exist simply to sell the program to mug punters, if the system was so good.

Bet I never hear from them again. But anyone had any experiences with this type of deal? (NO I am not forking our $7,000 to 'join')
Jeff

[Lignum]

This is cool, its an audio file have a listen... you'll love it!

http://media.putfile.com/Telemarketers-Nightmare


:D :D :D that is the funniest thing i have heard for ages :D :D :D

[Guy]

Yeah, the blighters plague me about 4 times a week and I am usually rude before I hang up.
But Iwas wondering - I have been called several tiems by a bloke from one of those Gold Coast thouroughbred horse racing betting mobs. The deal is I invest a bucket of money with them, they promise to send me their computer-selected winners for each Saturday. I start off with a $500 bank with the TAB and bet 6% of whatever the bank balance is, and return the winnings to the bank, and then 'invest' another 6% the next race day. Guy said the computer is currently returning$1200.00 a race day and has been for the past 13 weeks.
Anybody had anything to do with this type of setup? Today, after a think and a look at the racing scams on the net, I faxed back a letter asking why, if this system was so good, was the guy who has been ringing me, still working for a living, and why on earth any company would exist simply to sell the program to mug punters, if the system was so good.

Bet I never hear from them again. But anyone had any experiences with this type of deal? (NO I am not forking our $7,000 to 'join')
Jeff

I get these people calling me the time, there a pain in the ass. I asked the same question as you regarding if its that profitable why they selling.

[Auzzie turner]

yeah, if it works, don't tell anone, you'll make enough on your own

[AlexS]

When is that register goign to be set up where we can declare that no unsolicited calls are allowed (and not the one we have to pay for)

In Australia it comes in 1st July 2007, but it excludes politicians, political parties and charities (who seem to be among the worst offenders). Might make a pre-emptive strike and send a similar letter to all parties before the next elections.

[Slavo]

Nice work Alex, I've been thinking about doing the same. I first heard about this tactic with junk mail. A guy put a sign on his letter box advising that any non-Oz post mail would incur a $50 fee for review, filing and/or disposal. Fair Trading said that this was OK as long as the sign was there. He got a few companies paying up and a few abusive phone calls - dont know how it worked for him in the long run.

[Stuart]

I like Joash's attempt - good work!

I've been doing the more passive response - get them talking, then once they are into their whole spiel, just gently put the phone down on the table. One went on for almost 5 minutes, before I heard "hello? hello? Have I just been talking to myself all this time? Fcuk." :D

[kiwigeo]

Alex,

Youre letter is good but what you need to add is a paragraph stating that by telephoning you a second time the company in question agrees to pay you the fee. You then have legal ground to chase the money. Its a ploy used by a few antispammers in the US and a couple of them actually got some money out of the spammers.

Ive reached the point in my household where the phone doesnt get answered between 1600 and 2000hrs and also between 1000 and 1400hrs. The answer machine goes on duty. Marketers always give up when they hear the answer machine.

Cheers Martin

[kiwigeo]

I get these people calling me the time, there a pain in the ass. I asked the same question as you regarding if its that profitable why they selling.

Its profitable because if they only make a few sales per thousand phone calls theyve made their loot. Same philosophy as spam scams. The most powerful deterrant to these scams is a public who are clued up on same.

[bennylaird]

Just had an audio clip sent to me. The Guy who answers turns it around on the telemarketer by saying he has wrung a murder scene and wants the details of the caller for his investigation etc, needs to be heard to appreciate it. PM me if you want it emailed to you but a big file.

[TassieKiwi]

Already in the thread Benny.

I like the suggestion by Silent I think - when they ask for the owner go and get your 5yr old son to chat with them. :D The other goodie is 'please wait, I must go and get a pen' and just put it down. The poor buggers are only doing a #### job, but you're still allowed to tell them to fcuk off, too.

[Lignum]

Just had an audio clip sent to me. The Guy who answers turns it around on the telemarketer by saying he has wrung a murder scene and wants the details of the caller for his investigation etc, needs to be heard to appreciate it. PM me if you want it emailed to you but a big file.

Benny your not paying attention:rolleyes:


This is cool, its an audio file have a listen... you'll love it!

http://media.putfile.com/Telemarketers-Nightmare

:D

[bennylaird]

OK OK Pullin my head in.

I had tried to open that link but the work firewall blocked me.

[woodsprite]

Hey I just fixed one. Asian sounding lady from "Bluetool" wanting to sell me a new phone company. Asked her for her full name - got it. Asked where the company was based - Parramatta. Asked for the address - she gave me MY address! Asked her for the company address. She asked why. I said my time was worth $50.00 an hour or part thereof and I needed an address where I could send my account, seeing that she had rung me and not the other way round. She thought for a bit then...click!

Bewdy! And I was the perfect gentleman to her as well!

[Iain]

Where do I apply to get a 1900 number then fill in all the competition entries I can find so they can call, at $5.95 per minute, to tell me I am a winner.
If they get real lucky I may talk dirty to them too:D :D :D

[ozwinner]

If they get real lucky I may talk dirty to them too:D :D :D


Ill Pm you my number.

Al :cool:

[John Saxton]

Something to consider for all of us out there. Hope it gets up their nose.

Cheers :)


REVENGE ON THE TELEMARKETER


HOW GOOD IS THIS!!!!!

Three Little Words That Work!!

(1) The three little words: "Hold On, Please..."
Saying this, while putting down your phone and walking off instead of hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.



Then when you eventually hear the Telstra's "beep-beep-beep" tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task.

These three little words will help eliminate telephone
soliciting.

(2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on
the other end? This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone.


This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a "real" sales person to call back and get someone at home.

What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times, as quickly as possible. This confuses the machine that dialled the call and it kicks your number out of their system. Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their system any longer!!!