How do ya gut a chook ? [Archive]

JDarvall

17th September 2006, 07:49 PM

Serious....

My country girl wife, has 'instructed' me to 'prepare' a couple of proud looking chooks that don't seem too good at laying eggs.

I said to her......' any tips sweetheart ?.....I know how to swing an axe but thats about it '.....

she rolled her eyes and said in a sarcastic way....-> ' why don't you ask your mates on that bloody computer'

:confused: righto, ok.....so ?.......

just run the knife down the middle ?.....yes ?.....is there any special technique for ripping its guts out ? :eek:

Gra

17th September 2006, 07:54 PM

Isnt it like an egg, small hole one end, big hole the pther and blow:D:D:D:D

Cant help other than smart a@#e remarks, sorry

JDarvall

17th September 2006, 08:00 PM

:confused: blow ? ...blow which end ?

I'm quite serious uno.....I really, really want to know how to gut a chook.

I wish you blokes would be serious for a change. :mad: I mean, I never carry on like that....I never poke fun at anyone... :o ....

ozwinner

17th September 2006, 08:00 PM

Stamina and a hand, you know where the eggs come from, well........thats where the guts come from also.

Take a deep breath, and plunge......1,2.....plunge 3,4..........

Al :p

Rocker

17th September 2006, 08:01 PM

She's a country girl. Why isn't she gutting the chook?

Rocker

outback

17th September 2006, 08:09 PM

You know how to get the feathers off?
Yes, good.

Lay your chook on its back.

Make small hole around the chooks bumhole, actually, that's what you are doing, cutting its bum out, another a tiny bit bigger up from it a bit, heading for the breast, but only an inch or so from the bum cut.

FOllow Al's advice, hand in, guts out.

Remeber to save the giblet, heart, and especially the liver, makes great soup.

Wash the little darlin' out, hang up to dry a while, on the clothes line is good.

And Robert is your wifes father in laws brother.

Bodgy

17th September 2006, 08:10 PM

Jake, I'll take pity on you, poor bastard.

1. After the chook is dead (this is important) cut off its head and neck about 50 mm up from the 'shoulders)
2. Get a sharp knife and shove it up the chooks bum and cut to almost the bottom of the breast bone.
3. Stick your hand in there and pull until there's nothing left except the bottom bit of the gizzard where you decapitated the poor thing. Take that out.
4. Stick the new, large bum hole on the end of a tap and turn on.

Its easy, if a bit aesthetically unpleasant. Much easier than plucking the thing.

Who's gonna pluck it?

ozwinner

17th September 2006, 08:12 PM

Looks like he'll be ordering in KFC.

Al :D

DJ’s Timber

17th September 2006, 08:18 PM

Another tip is before pluckin the feathers is to dunk the whole thing in a bucket of HOT water. This will open the pores in the skin and the feathers will be a lot easier to pull out

Skew ChiDAMN!!

17th September 2006, 08:22 PM

One minor detail that hasn't been mentioned... PLUCK IT FIRST! :D:D:D:p

Errrmmm... no, make that pluck it SECOND. Kill it first, unless you're really into making a scene. :rolleyes:

ozwinner

17th September 2006, 08:24 PM

One minor detail that hasn't been mentioned... PLUCK IT FIRST! :D:D:D:p

Just make sure its dead firkst otherwise it will wriggle too much.

Al :p

Edit: Skew ChiDAMNm is a barstard.....

jow104

17th September 2006, 08:27 PM

I am gobsmacked that an ozzie doesn't know how to sort out a chick!:)

Groggy

17th September 2006, 08:32 PM

Gut it? Before or after removing the plastic?

Google help here (http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Cat/0/Number/2305074/an/0/page/0)

Rocker

17th September 2006, 08:36 PM

Jow,

You are getting confused here. Gutting a chook is a totally different matter from gutting a chick. You have to be a bit of a psychopath to gut a chick.

Rocker

ozwinner

17th September 2006, 08:37 PM

I am gobsmacked that an ozzie doesn't know how to sort out a chick!:)

Owwh baby, you are the best, you make me so feel alive, I am yours and yours alone ( fumbles for axe), I have a pressy for you mon cheri.
For moi, oui my petine yum.

oui por vous,...........Chop..........................

Coming to a cinema near you, Mad Axe....Whamhahahahaha

Al :p

Iain

17th September 2006, 09:58 PM

and pluck you too!!!!

Doughboy

17th September 2006, 10:06 PM

I am not a pheasant plucker
I am a pheasant pluckers son
I am only plucking pheasants
Till the pheasant plucker comes!!!!

Ok I know chicken not pheasant but it just doesn't work.

Pete

chrisb691

17th September 2006, 10:53 PM

Isnt it like an egg, small hole one end, big hole the pther and blow:D:D:D:D

Cant help other than smart a@#e remarks, sorry

I thought the rule was...Blow and egg, suck a chook.

Or was that....starve a cold, feed a, a, a. well it's something like that.

Barry_White

17th September 2006, 11:08 PM

First of all you have to catch them. Get a length of fencing wire about 4 foot long and put a hook in it to catch them by the leg.

When chopping the head off if you grab the chook by the two legs and the tail feathers in one hand it will make the neck stand out further.

Make sure the axe is sharp and hang on tight when you chop the head off because it will struggle a bit and you don't want it to get away, because it will run a long way without it's head and because it can't see it will run into things and get all bruised. DAMHIK.

Then follow Bodgy's instructions.

felixe

17th September 2006, 11:29 PM

I'd just wait until she goes out, get rid of the live chook (give it away!) then run to the butcher and get a fresh one:D :D :D
I guess that makes me a CHICKEN!!:p

jow104

17th September 2006, 11:51 PM

I'd just wait until she goes out, get rid of the live chook (give it away!) then run to the butcher and get a fresh one:D :D :D
I guess that makes me a CHICKEN!!:p

That is definately the best tip of this thread.:)

Waldo

18th September 2006, 12:24 AM

G'day Jake,

One tip that hasn't been mentioned yet.

If you're having family over to partake of the chook, leave the killin' bit until they all arrive. String it's neck out over a tree stump, chop it's head off, then thow it onto the ground and let it get up and run 'round like a chook with it's head cut off as blood spews from the place where it's head once stood. :D

A g/dad of mine once did that when I was a little bloke and I'll never forget it. Chook was good to eat too. :)

(bugger, Mr. White beat me to it - didn't see that)

savage

18th September 2006, 01:10 AM

If you really want a gutted chook, tell it 24 hours before it's tomorrow nights dinner, then you'll see a gutted chook!.....:D :D :D

JDarvall

19th September 2006, 06:34 AM

Ta for all the advice. just bury the guts ?.....heard it stinks like buggery.

That is definately the best tip of this thread.:)
:D
It does eh !... But my wifes right into organic, and she's very cluey.....and I can't lie to save myself....... so as tempting as it is, I better not try and pull a shifty.

Shes' the sort of person who feels toothbrushes and soap for moisture to check that people have washed their hands an cleaned their teeth....very perceptive.....always knows whats going on......that sort of thing. So I've got no chance.

masoth

19th September 2006, 08:13 AM

Most of the needed advice is above but more points are:
* When perparing to chop, hold the wing tips also, and the bird on it's back near the edge of the block. If you lay it on it's breast the neck, after chopping, will arc up toward you spraying blood onto your city clothes;
* Hang the decapitated bird by the legs till the blood completely stops running;
* After plucking you may find many fine hairs on the carcass - blow-torch these off, or burn some paper to get rid of them;
* Giblets consist of: heart, livers, kidneys, gizzard, neck, feet. The gizzard is a sack and need to be carefully cut along a very evident center line then cleaned of the contents, and a layer of external fat. Drop the leathery looking legs into boiling water for a minute then peel off the scales. All of these are edible; and
* Be certain to reach deeply into the cavity to clean the bird properly and pull out the remaining neck wash-out very well and 'sit' to drain.

SWIB will be impressed with your effort. Good luck.

soth

ozwinner

19th September 2006, 09:05 AM

Dont forget the WIP pictures.

Al :D

jow104

19th September 2006, 05:40 PM

Apricot,

If your good lady is into organics, do what our north of the border friends do, put the chicken into the pot whole (live or dead) and boil for 25mins. per lb. and serve on the dish.
Thats organic.:D

Bodgy

19th September 2006, 09:51 PM

I'm still intrigued as to who's gonna pluck the thing (Jake, generally one kills, plucks and guts - in that order)

Don't get all wound up about the gutting, thats the easy bit, who's the mug put their hand up for plucking?

Iain

19th September 2006, 09:54 PM

Still remember the delicate boqeutte of chicken guts when we used to do it when I was about 10 years old, never had the inclination to do it for a living.

ian

19th September 2006, 10:20 PM

open the gate to the chook pen and shoo out the two offending chooks
go to Wollies leaving the front gate open for the chooks
buy two packaged chooks — preferably uncooked and fresh otherwise it's a dead giveaway
go back home and place chooks on kitchen bench
with luck the other two chooks have disappeared or been eaten by the neighbour's dog (even better)

ian

WoodyKnot

3rd October 2006, 08:27 PM

Ta for all the advice. just bury the guts ?.....heard it stinks like buggery.

G'day,

Hey doesn't anyone go fishin' no more? Chook guts make great bait and can make for great excuse to go fishin with ya mates one weekend and without the sheila's.
Excellent idea i reckon and don't forget to freeze the bait before hand or you'll have some extra critters eatin ya bait away.

Cheers cobbers

:D :D :D