sea dragon
11th August 2006, 06:06 PM
12 March 2005<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
Jon Walker<o:p></o:p>
This might be a Ripley Believe It OR Not, or an aid to consumer revenge, or merely a good joke. However you read it, enjoy:
Store Manager<o:p></o:p>
Kmart store 4855<o:p></o:p>
Summit Ridge, <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><st1:place w:st="on"><st1:City w:st="on">Reno</st1:City>, <st1:State w:st="on">NV</st1:State>, <st1:PostalCode w:st="on">89503</st1:PostalCode></st1:place><o:p></o:p>
Mrs. Fenton<o:p></o:p>
<st1:Street w:st="on"><st1:address w:st="on">35 Rasmussen Street</st1:address></st1:Street><o:p></o:p>
<st1:PlaceName w:st="on">Moores</st1:PlaceName> <st1:PlaceType w:st="on">Park</st1:PlaceType>, <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:City w:st="on">Reno</st1:City>, <st1:State w:st="on">NV</st1:State>, <st1:PostalCode w:st="on">89503</st1:PostalCode></st1:place><o:p></o:p>
Dear Mrs. Fenton,<o:p></o:p>
During the preceding 6 months our security staff has been monitoring your husband's activities while in our store. The<o:p></o:p>
list below details his offences, all of which have been verified by our surveillance cameras and we have retained copies<o:p></o:p>
on tape.<o:p></o:p>
We have repeatedly given your husband verbal warnings while he is in this store and he has subsequently ignored<o:p></o:p>
them. He replied to these warning with rudeness and the response “while the wife shops here I will come here too”. We<o:p></o:p>
are therefore forced to ban you, your husband and your family from this store.<o:p></o:p>
The following list details your husbands activates in this store over the past six months.<o:p></o:p>
June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.<o:p></o:p>
July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.<o:p></o:p>
July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.<o:p></o:p>
July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in house wares and watched what<o:p></o:p>
happened.<o:p></o:p>
August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay-buy.<o:p></o:p>
September 14: Moved a 'Caution - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.<o:p></o:p>
September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite the in if they'll bring pillows.<o:p></o:p>
September 23: If any staff offers him assistance he begins to cry and asks, “Why can't you people just leave me alone?”<o:p></o:p>
October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it a mirror, and picked his nose.<o:p></o:p>
November 10: While in the gun department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.<o:p></o:p>
December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.<o:p></o:p>
December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna Look" using different size funnels.<o:p></o:p>
December 18: Hide in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"<o:p></o:p>
December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO!<o:p></o:p>
NO! It's those voices again!"<o:p></o:p>
December 23: Went in the fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet<o:p></o:p>
paper in here!"
Yours etc
<o:p> </o:p>
Jon Walker<o:p></o:p>
This might be a Ripley Believe It OR Not, or an aid to consumer revenge, or merely a good joke. However you read it, enjoy:
Store Manager<o:p></o:p>
Kmart store 4855<o:p></o:p>
Summit Ridge, <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><st1:place w:st="on"><st1:City w:st="on">Reno</st1:City>, <st1:State w:st="on">NV</st1:State>, <st1:PostalCode w:st="on">89503</st1:PostalCode></st1:place><o:p></o:p>
Mrs. Fenton<o:p></o:p>
<st1:Street w:st="on"><st1:address w:st="on">35 Rasmussen Street</st1:address></st1:Street><o:p></o:p>
<st1:PlaceName w:st="on">Moores</st1:PlaceName> <st1:PlaceType w:st="on">Park</st1:PlaceType>, <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:City w:st="on">Reno</st1:City>, <st1:State w:st="on">NV</st1:State>, <st1:PostalCode w:st="on">89503</st1:PostalCode></st1:place><o:p></o:p>
Dear Mrs. Fenton,<o:p></o:p>
During the preceding 6 months our security staff has been monitoring your husband's activities while in our store. The<o:p></o:p>
list below details his offences, all of which have been verified by our surveillance cameras and we have retained copies<o:p></o:p>
on tape.<o:p></o:p>
We have repeatedly given your husband verbal warnings while he is in this store and he has subsequently ignored<o:p></o:p>
them. He replied to these warning with rudeness and the response “while the wife shops here I will come here too”. We<o:p></o:p>
are therefore forced to ban you, your husband and your family from this store.<o:p></o:p>
The following list details your husbands activates in this store over the past six months.<o:p></o:p>
June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.<o:p></o:p>
July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.<o:p></o:p>
July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.<o:p></o:p>
July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in house wares and watched what<o:p></o:p>
happened.<o:p></o:p>
August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay-buy.<o:p></o:p>
September 14: Moved a 'Caution - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.<o:p></o:p>
September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite the in if they'll bring pillows.<o:p></o:p>
September 23: If any staff offers him assistance he begins to cry and asks, “Why can't you people just leave me alone?”<o:p></o:p>
October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it a mirror, and picked his nose.<o:p></o:p>
November 10: While in the gun department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.<o:p></o:p>
December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.<o:p></o:p>
December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna Look" using different size funnels.<o:p></o:p>
December 18: Hide in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"<o:p></o:p>
December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO!<o:p></o:p>
NO! It's those voices again!"<o:p></o:p>
December 23: Went in the fitting room, shut the door and waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet<o:p></o:p>
paper in here!"
Yours etc
<o:p> </o:p>