View Full Version : Heaven
echnidna
12th July 2006, 06:56 PM
An Aussie dies and goes to heaven.
As he stands in front of the pearly gates, he sees a huge wall of clocks behind him.
"What area all the clocks for?" he asks St. Peter,
"They are lie clocks. Everyone has one and the hands move each time you lie" replies Peter.
"Oh" says the aussie "Who’s clock is that?"
"Thats Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved therefore telling us that she had never lied in her life. Next to that is Abraham Lincolns it has only moved twice telling us he has only lied twice in his lifetime" explains Peter.
The aussie is stunned he continues to look for a few minutes then asks peter "Where is John Howard’s clock?"
"Its in Jesus’ office" exclaims Peter, "He is using it for a ceiling fan
echnidna
13th July 2006, 07:17 PM
not even one wisecrack after a day :eek: :eek:
Coldamus
13th July 2006, 08:53 PM
I thought it was funny and I voted for the rodent. Didn't have much choice considering the alternative.
Gra
13th July 2006, 09:48 PM
I even considerd voting for Fred Nile, so I didnt have to vote for him.
elphingirl
13th July 2006, 11:08 PM
Was it a joke? I thought you were serious....
Wongo
13th July 2006, 11:20 PM
I don't get it.
:D
johnc
13th July 2006, 11:33 PM
So dead on the nail that no further comment was really necessary.
John
Cliff Rogers
13th July 2006, 11:59 PM
not even one wisecrack after a day :eek: :eek:
Old joke, the names have been changed a bit over the years.
Kev Y.
14th July 2006, 08:49 AM
I thought it was funny and I voted for the rodent. Didn't have much choice considering the alternative.
Your a brave man for admitting that!.. how many reddies have you got since your post :cool:
RufflyRustic
14th July 2006, 09:49 AM
Funny? - yes
True? - unfortunately very much so!!! :mad:
bye bye johnny.....
Schtoo
14th July 2006, 10:18 AM
Brudda, I thought he voted for Mickey Mouse.
A ' rodent' ??? I doubt I could be quite so nice about it... ;)
Wongo
14th July 2006, 10:59 AM
Would like to point out the fact that all ceiling fans rotate anti-clockwise.:D
Coldamus
14th July 2006, 12:06 PM
A ' rodent' ??? I doubt I could be quite so nice about it... ;)
Schtoo,
Being overseas, you probably miss some of the political scandals here. One of little Johnnie's own senators allegedly referred to him as a "lying rodent" and the tag has stuck, basically because he lives up to it so well. See here for details:
http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2004/08/31/1093938916433.html?from=storyrhs
regards
Coldamus
Cliff Rogers
14th July 2006, 02:04 PM
Would like to point out the fact that all ceiling fans rotate anti-clockwise.:D
Another picky bugger. :D
AlexS
14th July 2006, 02:35 PM
Would like to point out the fact that all ceiling fans rotate anti-clockwise.:D
Depends where you're looking from.;)
Wongo
14th July 2006, 02:36 PM
Which way do you look at the ceiling Alex?:D
Cliff Rogers
14th July 2006, 02:38 PM
Depends where you're looking from.;)
Another picky bugger. :D<!-- / message --><!-- sig -->
Cliff Rogers
14th July 2006, 02:39 PM
Which way do you look at the ceiling Alex?:D
Depends whether he has fallen off his stool or if he is swinging from the chandelier. :D
Termite
14th July 2006, 03:38 PM
Would like to point out the fact that all ceiling fans rotate anti-clockwise.:D
Mine are bi, they have a switch that lets them swing either way. Pity women....nah I'd better forget about it.:D
Clinton1
14th July 2006, 03:51 PM
Would like to point out the fact that all ceiling fans rotate anti-clockwise.
What about in the Northern Hemisphere
AlexS
14th July 2006, 06:52 PM
Depends whether he has fallen off his stool or if he is swinging from the chandelier. :D
In either case, it's usually the room that's rotating.:D
Daddles
14th July 2006, 07:59 PM
In either case, it's usually the room that's rotating.:D
That's why I don't use them. Makes it bloody dangerous going to the fridge for another beer in summer.
Richard
Cliff Rogers
15th July 2006, 09:56 AM
That's why I don't use them. ...
What, rooms? :confused: :D
rrich
15th July 2006, 12:51 PM
Would like to point out the fact that all ceiling fans rotate anti-clockwise.:D
Ah, another area where us Yanks are backwards... :D
I actually had to go look at ours. When pushing air down, it turns CW.
Daddles
15th July 2006, 01:47 PM
Quote:
<TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=6 width="100%" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=alt2 style="BORDER-RIGHT: 1px inset; BORDER- 1px inset; BORDER- 1px inset; BORDER-BOTTOM: 1px inset">Originally Posted by Daddles
That's why I don't use them. ...
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>
What, rooms? :confused: :D
Yeah? What did you think I meant? :D
Richard
Cliff Rogers
15th July 2006, 03:42 PM
Yeah? What did you think I meant? :D
Richard
Just that, a rotating room makes it VERY hard to get to the fridge. :D