Not a joke. Just a bit of fun. MKII

[Caliban]

Elliot Ness

[Barry_White]

Untouchable

[oges]

my toes :D

[Kev Y.]

Mixo my toeses

[fxst]

bunny wabbit
:D

[guest]

Stew

[JackoH]

Irish.:D

[Geoff Dean]

green:D

[himzol]

Beer..

[guest]

Coopers

[Barry_White]

Tyres

[Neil]

exhausts

[fxst]

donuts:D

[Geoff Dean]

Homer Simpson:eek:

[oges]

Duff beer

[Geoff Dean]

Mo the bartender

[AlexS]

Mo the lawn

[Barry_White]

Lawnmower

[oges]

Victa

[Geoff Dean]

Honda

[oges]

Turkey :rolleyes:

[Geoff Dean]

Christmas Dinner:D :D :D

[Christopha]

Carbohydrates

[John Saxton]

Diet

[fxst]

What colour???

[Grunt]

Strike me pink!

[DaveInOz]

rosewood

[Shane Watson]

tulipwood

[Caliban]

tulip would what?

[DaveInOz]

plug a dyke

[Geoff Dean]

dykes on bikes

[oges]

dorf on golf

[Caliban]

caddy shack

[Geoff Dean]

Gophers

[Caliban]

gopher baroque

[DaveInOz]

The rock

[JackoH]

Gibraltar..:cool:

[Caliban]

sacrificial altar

[Geoff Dean]

Naked Virgins

[Caliban]

vestal virgins

[AlexS]

Wax vestas (matches for those who can remember them)

[Caliban]

protesters (eg. north east forest alliance)
matches forces with...(for those who can remember)

[oges]

tree huggers

[DaveInOz]

splinter group

[Geoff Dean]

Peoples Front of Judea

(from Monty Pythons Life of Brian for those who are a little confused)

[Caliban]

oxes livers
badger's spleens
Ocelot's noses:D :D :D

cheers
Jim
ps since when did anything funny not come from the Python crew?

[fxst]

Im a lumberjack and Im ok:D

[Kev Y.]

I am not the PHEASANT PLUCKER, I am the PHEASANT PLUCKERS mate

[oges]

plucka duck

[Geoff Dean]

Red Faces

[Caliban]

my face leaves at five...

[JackoH]

Sit on it!:D

[Kev Y.]

AAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY

[Caliban]

Da#@n it Hambly you're naughty, I wasn't game, since being edited a few times. But now that you've said it, the original saying wasn't "sit on it", it was "be on it", meaning exactly what you said but slightly less bluntly.
which brings me to my next reply
.
.
.
Euphemism

[Christopha]

Epitaph

[Kev Y.]

Famous Last Words

[JackoH]

"I told you it wasn't just a pimple!"
..

(Hovo. The reference was to the Monty Python song "Sit On My Face and Tell Me That You Love Me!" from "A secret Policemans Ball".);)

[Caliban]

trust me;)

[oges]

pinochio

[Caliban]

NAUGHTY BOY

[Kev Y.]

even better..

BAD GIRL!!!! :D :p

[Christopha]

Heavenly body

[Caliban]

me.(not);)

[oges]

knot

[Barry_White]

Rope

[John Saxton]

.d in ,shotgun wedding,conjugal conniptions,dowry dance,blind freddy etc...the list goes on

[Caliban]

the song remains the same

[silentC]

smeg

[Christopha]

dwarf

[Barry_White]

Dopey

[JackoH]

Grumpy..:mad:

[silentC]

Hambly :D

[JackoH]

Happy!. http://www.ubeaut.biz/group.gif

[Christopha]

Chrissed as a Picket!

[aljenit]

got a nose...picket!

[Caliban]

fence

[Kev Y.]

Boundry

[Geoff Dean]

Foundry

[Grunt]

Smithy

[Kev Y.]

Alias

[silentC]

Elias

[oges]

Benny ex league player for ya'll southerners

[AlexS]

backdoor

[Geoff Dean]

hopoate

[DaveInOz]

:eek: pull yer finger out

[John Saxton]

move your bloody a*^e

[Caliban]

ask ya mother for sixpence...

[Geoff Dean]

to see the new Giraffe
....

[AlexS]

...pimples on his whiskers...

[silentC]

and pimples on his ...

[Geoff Dean]

Aunty Mary had a canary,
She thought it was a duck........

[RETIRED]

cluck, cluck

[Geoff Dean]

I thought ducks went quack and chooks went cluck

[DaveInOz]

True, but canaries that think they are ducks go 'cluck'

chicks

[craigb]

Is not PC

[Caliban]

you're all wrong
...Ask your mother for sixpence
to see the big giraffe
put his head between his legs
and whistle up his...
Aunty mary had a canary,
Also had a duck,
took him behind the kitchen door
and asked him for a...



..so come on keep with the program instead of worrying about being PC

[craigb]

Whose worried about being PC?

There was a young man from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of bird seed
Great tufts of grass grew out of his a...
And his d... was covered in weeds !

:)

[Caliban]

Craig
I can't let that one go as a typo
You wrote "whose worried about..."
I assume you meant "who is worried..."
in which case you should have written "who's worried..." and not "whose worried..."
It's not that bloody hard, it's your(not you're ) native tongue not Swahili.
Cheers
Jim
ps to get back to the original purpose of this thread ...
my post
.
.
.
A man needs a woman like a fish needs a ....

[Barry_White]

Plastic Lure

[AlexS]

bicycle