The Code of Practice

[echnidna]

incest !!

oops sorry thought it was the not a joke thread:D

[Honorary Bloke]

G’day Driver, g’day mates,

I have studied carefully the CoP and believe it is one of the most intelligent documents I have ever read. :) I took the test and scored Maaate! with a 27, although for question (2) I substituted “Those little fart machines made out of rubber that you blow up and slip on your mate’s chair.” Other than that, no worries. <O:p</O:p
<O:p</O:p


But, I pose a few questions for your careful consideration:
<O:p</O:p

Can a bloke live in America and still be a bloke if he has a shed and follows all the rules?
Is there such a thing as an Honorary Bloke and how do you apply?
Is Foster’s really “Australian for beer” or are the <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com /><st1:country-region w:st=merica</st1:country-region> and still be a bloke if he has a shed and follows all the rules?
<font face=" /><st1:State w:st="on"><ST1:pNew York</st1:State> ad chaps having us on? (They are chaps, you know.)
Is John Howard a bloke? (optional)
My shed does not have a metal roof, is this a Code Violation?
Flushed toilets here swirl in the opposite direction. Does this have any bearing on anything at all?
If you asked the average American what a “stubby holder” was, would he know?
Should he care?
Is there an upper limit to the number of cock-ups allowed per WIP? My experience tells me the answer is no.
It’s summer here and winter there. Who’s right?</O:p
With your permission I would like to share the CoP with some of my blokelier mates. It may inspire them to come up with their own CoP. But then again, probably not.
<O:p</O:p
I give the CoP four thumbs up!:D

[Driver]

G’day Driver, g’day mates,
G'day Bob. Here's a tip: carefully read the Code's section on Blokely terms (10.3). Nowhere will you see the word 'mates' used in the vocative case. 'Youse blokes', 'Gents', 'Girls' and 'Ladies' are the preferred terms. Apart from that: Welcome and goodonya.



I have studied carefully the CoP and believe it is one of the most intelligent documents I have ever read. :) I took the test and scored Maaate! with a 27, although for question (2) I substituted “Those little fart machines made out of rubber that you blow up and slip on your mate’s chair.” Other than that, no worries.

Well done on the Blokeness Quotient score. As to fart machines, a bloke is, of course, free to choose his preferred system.


But, I pose a few questions for your careful consideration:
Can a bloke live in America and still be a bloke if he has a shed and follows all the rules? Yes.
Is there such a thing as an Honorary Bloke and how do you apply? Yes. Wendy is an Honorary Bloke. She didn't need to apply, her status was obvious. You can't apply, blokeness is - as Craig said, a state of mind.
Is Foster’s really “Australian for beer” or are the New York ad chaps having us on? (They are chaps, you know.) No. P!ss is Australian for beer.
Is John Howard a bloke? Dunno. Has he taken the quiz?
My shed does not have a metal roof, is this a Code Violation? In and of itself - No. But be careful.
Flushed toilets here swirl in the opposite direction. Does this have any bearing on anything at all? Not unless you plan to spend a lot of time on the porcelain phone (see above re p!ss)
If you asked the average American what a “stubby holder” was, would he know? Most unlikely, I imagine.
Should he care? Does he want cold beer?
Is there an upper limit to the number of cock-ups allowed per WIP? My experience tells me the answer is no. And your experience does not speak with forked tongue.
It’s summer here and winter there. Who’s right? We are.
With your permission I would like to share the CoP with some of my blokelier mates. It may inspire them to come up with their own CoP. But then again, probably not. Go for your life, mate.

I give the CoP four thumbs up! Does this mean you've taken your boots off or are you wearing thongs?

[RufflyRustic]

http://www.ubeaut.biz/cheers.gif

:D

[Honorary Bloke]

G'day youse blokes,

It means I've taken me bloody boots off! Never wear thongs. They chaff your B**. Can't count any higher without, can I? Can anyone tell me what time it is in OZ or do I haf' to do the math?

Thank you, Driver. I am proud to be an American Bloke. (Oh, Wendy, how I long for you! Oops, sorry, that slipped in.) It's late here and the Blokely drinks have kicked in, so tomorrow is another day.

What bloody time is it there,, anyway?

[JDub]

10:30am if your in the eastern states....... not close enough to knock off time for my liking....

[Cliff Rogers]

Is there an upper limit to the number of cock-ups allowed per WIP?

A couple of years ago, I won a prize at a Turnout for 'The most looses on one piece'.

I did finish it & it went on the 'Instant Gallery' table but bloody hell, I had to go & get it back from where ever it had landed lots of times.

[Honorary Bloke]

Well, I'm going to bed. It's 9 PM here (Eastern Daylight Time). But . . . if it's 11 or so A.M., why aren't you all at work? And if you are, don't you have anything to do? And anyway, what DAY is it over there? Crikey! This Honorary Bloke thing is going to my head!!!

I think I'll go out to the shed for a spell. Leaning and staring.;) THEN I'll go to bed.

[silentC]

what DAY is it over there
It's tomorrow here, and yesterday there. See? It's simple.

BTW If you are going out to the shed, make sure you only lean and/or stare. Under no circumstances should you DO anything. You have been warned. ;)

[Ashore]

Bob Australia has 3 time zones ( without counting Daylight saving times )
So here on the east coast it's 20 past , in the middle its 10 to and on the west coast its 20 past , ( In Tasmania its 1986 ):D

Hope this clears it up
Rgds

[JDub]

LOL:cool:

[havenoideaatall]

My wife's American brother-in-law likes to use the word mate around me alot.

But he never quite uses it in the right context, however hard he tries.

[Ben (TM)]

I was glad to note that, in strict accordance with section 7, sections 5&6 were unfinished. However does this imply an unwritten rule that no project shall be undertaken in a logical sequence?

Notwithstanding you appear to have missed some important sections regarding "no reading any instruction manual" (although looking at the diagrams can be acceptable under some circumstances, likewise out-of-print workshop manuals purchased at garage sales. Being able to interpret the circuit diagrams of any pre-EFI car earns bonus points). Also failed to specify the minimum requisite number of leftovers from any project, suggest 2xnuts, 3 bolts or screws (which shall not be of the same size as the nuts) and at least one rubber/plastic seal, cap, or gasket. All to be stored in an old jar for a minimum period of 15 years after the original project item has been thrown away.

[Driver]

I was glad to note that, in strict accordance with section 7, sections 5&6 were unfinished. However does this imply an unwritten rule that no project shall be undertaken in a logical sequence?

You need to ask?



Notwithstanding you appear to have missed some important sections regarding "no reading any instruction manual" ....

It would seem that you have an out of date copy of the Code. In itself this might be close to the margins of a Code violation. :eek: I suggest that you get an updated copy and refer to para 6.2 - New tools.

[Caliban]

G'day youse blokes,

It means I've taken me bloody boots off! Never wear thongs. They chaff your B**.
Mate
we're not talking about underwear. A thong is an Aussie rubber sandal. (ie footwear.) You'll learn.:D and welcome.

[craigb]

I'm wondering if we've adequetly addressed safety in the Code?

For instance:

"Even though you think that you may as well finish off ripping those 10mm strips just after you've seen off a visitor to your shed, (who's obviously helped you partake of several code approved beverages) it's really not a good idea. "

What say the commitee?

[Honorary Bloke]

BTW If you are going out to the shed, make sure you only lean and/or stare. Under no circumstances should you DO anything. You have been warned. ;)

Thank you. I may be a bloke, but I hope I'm not a stupid bloke.:D No blokely drinks until everything is disconnected from power. I still have all my fingers and toes.:eek:

[Honorary Bloke]

Mate
we're not talking about underwear. A thong is an Aussie rubber sandal. (ie footwear.) You'll learn.:D and welcome.

Actually, just a poor attempt at some double entendre.:o We call 'em flip-flops for the slapping noise they make when you walk.:rolleyes:

[Zed]

damn fine point about not reading the manual. def an amendment for next issue. dont forget to add ben to list of credit...:)

[Lignum]

I'm wondering if we've adequetly addressed safety in the Code?

For instance:

"Even though you think that you may as well finish off ripping those 10mm strips just after you've seen off a visitor to your shed, (who's obviously helped you partake of several code approved beverages) it's really not a good idea. "

What say the commitee?

Id get nothing done then:eek:

[Doughboy]

According to websters Dictionary

Thong:-- flip-flops, jandals, chinese safety shoes.

Pete

[Honorary Bloke]

Bob Australia has 3 time zones ( without counting Daylight saving times )
So here on the east coast it's 20 past , in the middle its 10 to and on the west coast its 20 past , ( In Tasmania its 1986 )Rgds

Clear as mud. We have 4 time zones. Here in the east it's now 7:15, in the center 6:15, in the near west 5:15, in the far west 4:15, and in several states it is still 1886.:D

[Cliff Rogers]

Actually, just a poor attempt at some double entendre.:o We call 'em flip-flops for the slapping noise they make when you walk.:rolleyes:

Never mind Bob, I undestood you humour (humor)

Now it is my turn.... Thongs (your sort) & the slapping noise they make when you walk... :rolleyes: Bit cheeky. :D

[Cliff Rogers]

damn fine point about not reading the manual. def an amendment for next issue. dont forget to add ben to list of credit...:)
Hmmmm.... Zed, did you read Col's reply? It is IN THERE ALREADY refer to para 6.2 - New tools.. ;)

[Honorary Bloke]

Well said Cliff. But the image it conjures up.:eek:

[echnidna]

Explain Turkey Slapping to him Cliff

:D :D or should that be :eek: :eek:

[Bodgy]

Actually, just a poor attempt at some double entendre.:o We call 'em flip-flops for the slapping noise they make when you walk.:rolleyes:

I thought the US designation was 'shower slippers' and the Poms 'flip-flops'.

You must have travelled a bit, Bob?

In Oz we can actually buy 'dress' thongs, ie balck and white.

[Cliff Rogers]

My dad used to have leather thongs for good, informal wear.

Lends a new meaning to 'strop' :cool:

[Cliff Rogers]

Explain Turkey Slapping to him Cliff

:D :D or should that be :eek: :eek:

OK, that is easy....

It is not quiet the same as 'beating the meat' :D

[Bodgy]

Allow me to assist in our multi-cultural discourse and attempt to explain 'turkey slapping'

Turkey slaps are administered, in a state of friendly camaraderie, by a fella to his female companion. They consist of a light-hearted tap (usually on the cheek) by the male utilising his flaccid genitalia.

I'm not sure if this is a cultural enigma, particular to Oz?

In a recent episode of Big Brother, a contestant administered such TS to a female contestant. He was rusticated immediately, and narrowly escaped prosecution, for bad manners.

We suspect this was because the slap was to the right cheek of the female and everyone knows it should be to the left.

[Honorary Bloke]

You must have travelled a bit, Bob?

Spent a lot of time in Europe (Brits, Germans, Scandinavia). But . . . never yet been to OZ and it would be the pinnacle of my life's ambitions.:D

[Honorary Bloke]

We suspect this was because the slap was to the right cheek of the female and everyone knows it should be to the left.

Well, that clears that up.:rolleyes: This forum is not only informative but educational as well. (And I've been doing it wrong all these years!:eek: )

[Cliff Rogers]

. . . never yet been to OZ and it would be the pinnacle of my life's ambitions.:D

We are having a 'Bit of a barby' for the missus this Sat'dy if yar int'rest'd. 'sher birth'dy yest'dy.

Translation:-
We are having a B-B-Q for my wife this Saturday if you would like to join us, you are welcome. It was her Birthday yesterday.

PS. Don't bother bring'n ya turkey bloke. :cool:

[craigb]

I wonder if Bob is a wolf in sheeps clothing?

[Honorary Bloke]

I wonder if Bob is a wolf in sheeps clothing?

Wolf? Once perhaps, but no more.:( In sheep's clothing? Naaaw, wool makes my skin itch.:D

[Cliff Rogers]

I found this looking for something for another thread...

http://www.dunlite.com.au/assets/images/bannermain_r2_c1.jpg

It is a Peter Lik (I think?) or maybe a Steve Parish photo.

I have seen the photo in a gallery & my Grandpa had a shed just like that one. The original photo didn't have the stars & the lightning.
When the one at my Grandpa's was brand new, it was the single men's quarters.
My dad learned how to make whips & other leather work there from the old-timers. (Dad is now 73 & my Grandpa would have been 100 in 3 months time if... )
I mixed molasses & urea to make a stock feed supplement on the back (right) veranda when I was a kid about 13 or 14. I never ever ever got to see what was inside that hut... it was a secret.

[Ashore]

and in several states it is still 1886.:D

and thats only because some of you damm yankees still claim you-all won the war , and you know the war I'm talking about.:D

[Ashore]

I wonder if Bob is a wolf in sheeps clothing?

Nah if he was in sheeps clothing he would be posting on a NZ dating forum:D

[Caliban]

Nah if he was in sheeps clothing he would be posting on a NZ dating forum:D
Fair go Russell. This thread should be above hijacking. Is nothing sacred?:eek:

[Ashore]

Fair go Russell. This thread should be above hijacking. Is nothing sacred?:eek:
Nothing Baared ewe mean:D

[Honorary Bloke]

:) G'day Caliban,

As I understand hijacking a thread, it means diverting it from its original purpose or trying to upstage the original poster. I hope that you do not think that it was my intention to do so, nor in fact do I believe I did. I, in fact, was struck by the essential "rightness" of the CoP and believed it might apply internationally. I still believe that. It is a sound document that has both character and common sense which is applicable worldwide.

If, for reasons which escape me at the moment, I have offended anyone in OZ, I certainly apologise. In general I admire the great good humour and camaraderie shown on this forum, and I hope to be a contributing member of it. I am not a professional woodworker, but an avid hobbyist and have much more to learn than to contribute in the way of knowledge. :o

On the other hand, I admit to an admiration for Australia of which I cannot, in good conscience, be ashamed. Fortunately, I am old enough, and my skin is thick enough, to take almost anything. But I must draw the line at advertising on a dating forum in NZ. Here in the States we have a term for such things which is unsuitable for a family-orientated forum. :D

Cliff, I am sorry I missed the barbie. I asked the missus but she had to work this weekend. Pity. Perhaps the next one. :) Happy birthday to the wife from America.

[Sturdee]

If, for reasons which escape me at the moment, I have offended anyone in OZ, I certainly apologise. In general I admire the great good humour and camaraderie shown on this forum, and I hope to be a contributing member of it. I am not a professional woodworker, but an avid hobbyist and have much more to learn than to contribute in the way of knowledge. :o


Apologizing for hijacking a thread. :eek:

Whats wrong with you Bob, apologizing for hijacking is not needed as it's our favourite pasttime around here. It sounds as you're trying to be a Seppo :D feeling sorry.:p

BTW always a good subject is pancakes, maybe you can tell us how you make them over there.

Peter.

[Cliff Rogers]

Good on ya Bob. :D

[echnidna]

Yer ok Bob

[Purpleheart]

Rule #1. Do not for any reason convert your shed into a bar /pool room... it is bad shed ediquite, build a bar room onto your house instead!(your shed will help you build it...)

Oh no, seems I was in direct violation of the above rule.

I converted our 6*7 meter garage into a pool room.

This necessitated the building of a 6*6 meter carport.

Fortunately I also have a 2.5*5.5m workshop, a garden shed (for lawnmowers, bikes ets) and a storage shed (for all the stuff I don't want to get covered in shavings that fly around the workshop), and I am currently building another shed cause I have run out of space in the others.

I hope my secondary endeavours make up for the above indescression.

Cheers..........

[Purpleheart]

PS - That was just my attempt at getting this thread back on track...:)

[echnidna]

Oh no, seems I was in direct violation of the above rule.

I converted our 6*7 meter garage into a pool room.

This necessitated the building of a 6*6 meter carport.

Fortunately I also have a 2.5*5.5m workshop, a garden shed (for lawnmowers, bikes ets) and a storage shed (for all the stuff I don't want to get covered in shavings that fly around the workshop), and I am currently building another shed cause I have run out of space in the others.

I hope my secondary endeavours make up for the above indescression.

Cheers..........

This breach can be negated by installing a suitable workbench top and woodworking vices on the pool table and fitting a dusty in your pool room. :D

[scooter]

This breach can be negated by installing a suitable workbench top and woodworking vices on the pool table and fitting a dusty in your pool room. :D

...for the bulldust of course... ;) :)


Cheers.................Sean

[BobL]

I posted the link to the code of practice to the coodabeenchampions on the ABC as I thought this would be right up their alley and we might get 15 seconds of fame. Although I wasn't listening last weekend I heard they ridiculed my name (I'm not fussed, I'm used to it), anyway, they said they might ridicule (er . . . . do a program about ) sheds in a coming program so make sure you stay tuned.

[Honorary Bloke]

Just a quick question for the Drafting Committee:

Whilst studying the Code today I realized that Para. 6 (Tools) does not proscribe a Bloke from reading a tool’s Instructional Manual. :eek: Is this an Australian cultural phenomenon or merely an oversight? I should think, as we do here, a Bloke would fiddle a tool until he completely buggered it up before he would stoop so low as to read the Instructions. :D

What say you?

[Andy Mac]

Have to agree with you there Bob! Its only after you've attempted to assemble any given piece of equipment/plant and realised you have bolts left over that don't fit anywhere, that the instructions manual is even searched for!:eek::o

Cheers,

[BobL]

Have to agree with you there Bob! Its only after you've attempted to assemble any given piece of equipment/plant and realised you have bolts left over that don't fit anywhere, that the instructions manual is even searched for!:eek::o

Cheers,

With me it's a point of pride. Reading the instructions can stunt your creativity. If I don't have any bits left over I feel I haven't been innovate enough in the assembly. Like the time I left the big end bearing locators out of the mates VW beetle motor. What are these little lugs for - can't be that important!

[Andy Mac]

I've done similar with gudgeon pin circlips on a lawn mower, the only bits left...*groan*...pull the bugger back down again and put them in!

Cheers,

[Driver]

Just a quick question for the Drafting Committee:

Whilst studying the Code today I realized that Para. 6 (Tools) does not proscribe a Bloke from reading a tool’s Instructional Manual. :eek: :D

What say you?

Bob

Mate, you're in danger of committing a Code violation :eek: by referring to an out-of-date version. The most recent update is your guide. Backtrack through this thread and have a hard look.

Col

[silentC]

I may have you call you up on that point, Brother Driver.

Keeping up-to-date documentation of anything, even of the code itself, is verging on chapiness. I must admit that I am undecided whether referring to an old version of the code, and thereby committing an offence, or failing to carry out some action prescribed therein, is more of a concern than the chapiness associated with the diligent observance of the update path of the document itself.

This is a quandry. Is it covered in the current version? No! Don't tell me, I don't want to know!

[silentC]

Further pondering on the above has revealed to me an alarming paradox, which I hope you can put right. In essence, we are saying that to read a manual is not acceptable under the code. If the code itself can in any way be construed as a "manual", well you can see the dangerous position this puts us in.

[Driver]

I must admit that I am undecided whether referring to an old version of the code, and thereby committing an offence, or failing to carry out some action prescribed therein, is more of a concern than the chapiness associated with the diligent observance of the update path of the document itself.


And you're calling me up!?! :eek:

....and as for:-


Further pondering on the above has revealed to me an alarming paradox, which I hope you can put right. In essence, we are saying that to read a manual is not acceptable under the code. If the code itself can in any way be construed as a "manual", well you can see the dangerous position this puts us in.

I have three comments:-

1. It's the Code, man, the Code. It's not a manual. They're for fools with tools (as opposed to blokes, you understand).

2. And you're calling me up!?! :eek:

3. :p :p :p :p :p :p :p

[silentC]

Ok, well if you are sure it's not a manual, then I suppose it's alright. I haven't read it yet, just to be safe.

I suppose it's a bit like the old test of witchery. They push you off a cliff, if you survive you're a witch, if you die you're not. If you read the code and it confirms what you already know, then you are a bloke. But if you learn something from it, then you are not and never can be a true bloke.

[Wongo]

Shame on you silent. Shame shame shame.

:D

[silentC]

Did you know that Derryn Hinch never actually said that?

[echnidna]

Is it covered in the current version? No! Don't tell me, I don't want to know!

Exactly right.
We don't have to know the rules so therefore we are all innocent :cool:

[Cliff Rogers]

Did you know that Derryn Hinch never actually said that?

I thing it was Steve Vizard taking the P out of Daren Hunch.

Now what is this with you pushing the witches off me???? :confused:

[Wongo]

I always thought that Derryn Hinch is the guy from fast forward. Don't blame me, you guys all look the same so how can I tell the difference. :D

[Driver]

Ok, well if you are sure it's not a manual, then I suppose it's alright. I haven't read it yet, just to be safe.

Don't be shy ;) - you're a member of the Drafting Committee.


I suppose it's a bit like the old test of witchery. They push you off a cliff, if you survive you're a witch, if you die you're not..
The modern version of this is Catch-22.


If you read the code and it confirms what you already know, then you are a bloke. But if you learn something from it, then you are not and never can be a true bloke.
See! I knew you understood really.:)


We don't have to know the rules so therefore we are all innocent
...and this is the absolutely brilliant get-out clause that counters Catch-22!;)

[echnidna]

...and this is the absolutely brilliant get-out clause that counters Catch-22!;)

Yeah, I needed that in coz I NEVER read rules or instructions :cool:

[macman]

G'day blokes,

Firstly, what a top thread, chuckles and even a guffaw or two while at work the other day. It occurred to me this weekend ( a domestic one) that there is probably room for some general observations on colours.

Puce, lilac, taup etc are definitely not bloke colours, it is probably not even permissable for a bloke to use these in general conversation. THere are a couple of very borderline ones, pink and beige etc. We all know that timber can be available in pink prime and there are particularly blokey things that are always pink. Beige is pretty borderline, but a necessity to avoid colours like taup, lilac and puce.

Matt

[journeyman Mick]

.............. Beige is pretty borderline, but a necessity to avoid colours like taup, lilac and puce.

Matt

They're colours? I thought they were exotic diseases! :eek:

Mick

[Driver]

There's a colour called 'taup'? :confused:

Mate (lowers voice and looks over shoulder), I have a vague disquiet about this. It might even be a Code violation to know that there's a colour called taup. :eek: And puce? Isn't that what happens when you've had far too many blokely drinks followed by a kebab?:o

[silentC]

It's ok, he didn't spell it right, so he's OK.


OH NO! I've just outed myself. Quick, think of something. How 'bout those Wallabies, eh? :o

[scooter]

It's ok, he didn't spell it right, so he's OK.


OH NO! I've just outed myself. Quick, think of something. How 'bout those Wallabies, eh? :o

:D :D

[TassieKiwi]

Cliff, it's spelt 'berf'dy. And, 'Baaa-b-que' where I'm from. You invite the cute wooly ones, which really makes them nervous, for more than one reason too (as they eye the special wellies in the corner).;)

[havenoideaatall]

No self-respecting bloke knows of the existence of 'tourquoise' either.

It's a funny blue or green, the word is taken to be some marine mammal.

Might get away with aqua-marine.

[silentC]

So how do you know about it, eh? What have you got to say for yourself, hmm?

[Driver]

Might get away with aqua-marine.

No, you wouldn't. :cool:

[Cliff Rogers]

He would if he was drinking it. ;) :D

[Ashore]

Paint the inside walls of a shed ? , other than the occasional patch of overspray , or a patch to see what colour it drys to , a spill splash etc, or a bit of white gloss to draw or sketch on , why would you paint the inside, no one sees the walls , there covered in calander pickies , tapping and other charts, shadow boards, shelves, cupboards , timber racks, fridge , hooks with leads etc .
Damm waste of time for a bloke to paint the inside walls IMO :rolleyes:

[Driver]

He would if he was drinking it. ;) :D

No, he wouldn't. With a name like that, it has got to be a chap's drink. ;)

[Woodgrub]

To Driver:
The front page cover needs to have the word "SHED" somewhere on it.
As "The Code of Pratice" refers to anything.

"The Shed Code of Pratice"
"Shed's Code of Pratice"
"Code of Pratice for a Shed"

just trying help...:)

[Driver]

To Driver:
The front page cover needs to have the word "SHED" somewhere on it.
As "The Code of Pratice" refers to anything.

"The Shed Code of Pratice"
"Shed's Code of Pratice"
"Code of Pratice for a Shed"

just trying help...:)


Woodgrub

Think about it like this: there is only one Code of Practice that's of any real worth and that's our Code of Practice.

In other words, the Code of Practice.

Any bloke, when referring to the Code of Practice knows what it is about. No further explanation is necessary.

[Caliban]

Don't blame me, you guys all look the same so how can I tell the difference. :D
Do the math Scott!:rolleyes:

[havenoideaatall]

When I was 18, I had one of those MA-1 Yank flying jackets. They were all the rage in the early 90s.

Mine was blue, but some of the girls said it was green, aquamarine-tourquoise. To this day I still say it was blue.

[Caliban]

I'm starting to think that colour blindness (real or affected) is an essential part of being a real bloke. After all 1 in 5 of us have real colourblindness, and it's as good an excuse as not knowing the rules. I mean it's all black and white (except for the occasional technicolour yawn. But then you're feeling a little off colour anyway.......)

[Cliff Rogers]

...(except for the occasional technicolour yawn. But then you're feeling a little off colour anyway.......)

I was wondering.... is carrot a colour or a texture? :confused:

[Skew ChiDAMN!!]

Think about it like this: there is only one Code of Practice that's of any real worth and that's our Code of Practice.

In other words, the Code of Practice.

Any bloke, when referring to the Code of Practice knows what it is about. No further explanation is necessary.

Damned right! 'Sides, I'm pretty sure it defines a shed as being the "domain of a bloke." (Well... I think it does. I'll get SWMBO to check it out later. :rolleyes: )

By including "shed" in the title you're tempting SWMBO, some chaps and the uninitiated into assuming it only applies to the shack out the back, when we know better. Why make trouble for ourselves? It's The Code. Leave it at that...

[Cliff Rogers]

When I was 18, I had one of those MA-1 Yank flying jackets. They were all the rage in the early 90s.

Mine was blue, but some of the girls said it was green, aquamarine-tourquoise. To this day I still say it was blue.

Like either of these? (don't pick the one on the left 'cos they call is 'sage' :eek: )
http://store1.yimg.com/I/a-army-navydepot_1846_70169375

[Riverland]

For some reason l cant open up the code of practice bugger:confused:

[scooter]

I was wondering.... is carrot a colour or a texture? :confused:

Actually a projectile, Cliff ;)

[havenoideaatall]

Like either of these? (don't pick the one on the left 'cos they call is 'sage' :eek: )
http://store1.yimg.com/I/a-army- (http://store1.yimg.com/I/a-army-navydepot_1846_70169375)navydepot_1846_70169375 (http://store1.yimg.com/I/a-army-navydepot_1846_70169375)

that's the style. If memory serves, there were real ones, made to septic govt contracts, and 'fake' ones. Mine was a real one. My first was blue a fake- then I got a grouse green one.

[11011100]

:rolleyes: Blokes - sorry it's taken a while for THE Code of Practice to reach the UK shores.

Recently I moved some of my tools into the house to mend a light, and absentmindedly left them out of the shed for a few days.:o

:eek: SWMBO used said tools in my absence - nightmare!!! :eek:

I know it goes without saying that SWMBO must not use a Blokes tools EVER, but what has THE Code of Practice to say about this violation?

:confused: Please help...

[Cliff Rogers]

Bloody hell, you are damned lucky she didn't confiscate them. :eek:

[Driver]

:rolleyes:
I know it goes without saying that SWMBO must not use a Blokes tools EVER, but what has THE Code of Practice to say about this violation?

:confused: Please help...

Listen, mate: your description of the appalling catastrophe that has befallen you (and, by the way, to which you have personally contributed) has shaken to the very core a number of blokes on this side of the globe.

Before we can adequately respond with blokely advice and point you in the direction of the appropriate section of the Code of Practice, we'll need to take stock (and, in all probability, a certain amount of strong blokely drink).

We'll get back to you.

Meanwhile, do not, repeat, do not, do anything you might later regret. I recommend assuming a thoughtful expression and adoption of the standing and/or leaning position.

[Skew ChiDAMN!!]

It's a pity Ruffly didn't finish the blokette version of the code, but for the sake of argument let's assume the SWMBO under discussion is a blokette. After all, it's stated that she used the tools.

In such a situation, then she is blatantly in violation of code sec. 6.3.1 & 6.3.2, hopefully she did not compound her situation by also violating sec. 6.3.3

If, on the other hand, she could not ordinarily be considered a blokette... [shakes head] You ninny! :D

[Cliff Rogers]

OK Geordie boy, I'm 2 hours ahead of Col so I've already finished my bottle of red....

Here is my opinion.

It all happened outside of the shed so there was no code violation. :cool:

But I still reckon you are bloody lucky she didn't confiscate them. :p

Have a warm beer & go to the shed & sharpen anything that is now blunt, (including your pin head) and let this be a lesson. :D

[Honorary Bloke]

Geordie,

It's quite simple, really. I have this happen regularly whilst performing tasks outside the Shed Proper. Invoking para. 5.1.1.4 I simply designate the temporary area where the tools reside as the Shed Annex (or, more commonly, the Shed Improper). Then, based upon para. 5.2.2 (not overlooking the implications of para. 5.2.2.1) leaving the tools in the Shed Improper is NOT a violation of the Code because it is, in fact, a sub-part of the Shed Proper. :D

However . . . under para. 6.3 et seq. your SWMBO did, in fact, commit a Code violation by using the tools and is in serious danger of losing her blokette status.:eek: I suggest a caution card at the very minimum.:rolleyes:

[Driver]

In such a situation, then she is blatantly in violation of code sec. 6.3.1 & 6.3.2, hopefully she did not compound her situation by also violating sec. 6.3.3

If, on the other hand, she could not ordinarily be considered a blokette... [shakes head] You ninny! :D

Actually, Skew, I think you mean 6.4.1 to 6.4.3 - as they refer to Other Bloke's Tools. (You may be an update or two adrift of the latest version. This is not, in and of itself a Code violation, of course (we don't want to be too anal about these things, do we?:rolleyes: ) But I caution you to be careful, mate. A friendly piece of advice - nothing more.:rolleyes:

As to your query, 11011100 (er, d'ya mind if I call you 1? We're fairly informal over here in Oz). As I was saying, ....1...as to your query, I reckon my mate Ginger Rogers has summed it up admirably. (Except for his remarks about being ahead of me. What he means is that Queensland time is 2 hours earlier than Western Australian time. Any other imputation can be dismissed. ;) )

Howay, man 1 - after you've carried out your sharpening penance and genuflected in the direction of the Laws of Shed Physics, open a couple of bottles of Amber and try to forget the whole horrible episode.

Col

[Honorary Bloke]

Pip! I seem to be a bit adrift from the latest updates as well. :eek:

Penance to follow.:(

[Skew ChiDAMN!!]

Actually, Skew, I think you mean 6.4.1 to 6.4.3 - as they refer to Other Bloke's Tools. (You may be an update or two adrift of the latest version. This is not, in and of itself a Code violation, of course (we don't want to be too anal about these things, do we?:rolleyes: ) But I caution you to be careful, mate. A friendly piece of advice - nothing more.:rolleyes:

:eek: I wonder if I can plead extenuating circumstances: I didn't receive written notification of any modifications??

I would set myself a penance, but I had one of those weekends where even my hammers now have nice, crisp edges. :rolleyes: As a result, any further testing of renewed edges would leave me open to accusations of chappish behaviour... and it's too damned cold to test 'em above the neckline.

Errrmmm... is the current version v7? I had to wander back through 10 pages to find it. Do you realise how much that feels like reading an instruction manual? :(

[Driver]

:eek: I wonder if I can plead extenuating circumstances: I didn't receive written notification of any modifications??
Extenuating circumstances? Written notification?

Mate, do these phrases sound at all blokely?



Errrmmm... is the current version v7? I had to wander back through 10 pages to find it. Do you realise how much that feels like reading an instruction manual? :(

The current version is the last one I posted into this thread. Bearing in mind my previous remark about not wanting to be too anal, you will appreciate that I don't actually know which version #that is;) :p :D

Col

[Cliff Rogers]

..reckon my mate Ginger Rogers has summed it up admirably. (Except for his remarks about being ahead of me. What he means is that Queensland time is 2 hours earlier than Western Australian time. Any other imputation can be dismissed. ;) )...Col

Where, in the code, does it refer to time zones, state supremisy, or smartarzedrey? :confused: :D

(2 glasses into 2nd bottle, and with a (an) 8 day old cold, I'll be as good as Gumby tomorrow. :rolleyes: )

Where were we?
(Note to Neil: I want a smile with a judge's face.:cool: )

I've forgotten wot I woz on about. :confused: :rolleyes:

Oooo, I remember.... :eek:
5.4. Decoration. Decoration of a shed is very important...

Make her a decoration. (Means she has to pose nude on the shed wall for about 15 or 16 months but she'll get used to it I'm sure. :D )

[Cliff Rogers]

She must be wearing green shoes. (insert judge's serious face here.)