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goat
11th May 2006, 02:35 PM
A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman "Can I have a pint of
beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie?". The barman is amazed but gives the
rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie. The rabbit drinks
the beer and eats the toastie, he then leaves.

The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a Pint of Beer
and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. The barman, now intrigued by the rabbit
and the extra drinkers in the pub (because word gets round) gives the
rabbit the pint and the toastie. The rabbit consumes them and leaves.

The next night, the pub is packed, in walks the rabbit and says "A pint
of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman". The crowd is
hushed as the barman gives the rabbit his pint and toastie and then
burst into applause as the rabbit wolfs them down.

The next night there is standing room only in the pub, coaches have been
laid on for the crowds of patrons attending, the barman is making more
money in one week than he did all last year. In walks the rabbit and
says, "A Pint of Beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman",
smiling and accepting the tributes of the masses. The barman says, "I'm
sorry rabbit, old mate, old mucker but we are right out of them Ham and
Cheese Toasties".
The rabbit looks aghast, the crowd has quietened to almost a whisper,
when the barman clears his throat nervously and says, "We do have a very
nice Cheese and Onion Toastie".

The rabbit looks him in the eye and says, "Are you sure I will like it?"
The masses bated breath is ear shatteringly silent.

The barman, with a roguish smile says "Do you think that I would let
down one of my best friends, I know you'll love it". "Ok" says the
rabbit," I'll have a Pint of Beer and a Cheese and Onion Toastie". The
pub erupts with glee as the rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the
toastie, he then waves to the crowd and leaves.........NEVER TO
RETURN!!!!!!

One year later in the now impoverished public house, the barman (who has
only served 4 drinks tonight, 3 of which were his) calls time. When he
is cleaning down the now empty bar, he sees a small white form, floating
above the bar. The barman says, "Who are you" To which he is answered,
"I am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house".

The barman says, "I remember you, you made me famous, you would come in
every night and have a Pint of Beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, masses
came to see you and this place was famous" The rabbit says, "Yes I
know".
The barman said, "I remember, on your last night we didn't have any Ham
and Cheese Toasties, you had a Cheese and Onion one instead" The rabbit
said "Yes, you promised me that I would love it". The barman said "You
never came back, what happened?"

"I DIED", said the Rabbit.

"NO!" said the barman,"what from".

After a short pause. The rabbit said...



"Mixin'-me-toasties".

Daddles
11th May 2006, 06:59 PM
Okay, explain to me why you shouldn't served up as a side dish at the next meet and greet :mad: That's almost as bad as my worst effort:rolleyes:

Richard

macca2
11th May 2006, 07:27 PM
Yeah, love,em
"shaggy dog stories"

Auld Bassoon
11th May 2006, 07:46 PM
Terrible :D

outback
11th May 2006, 08:34 PM
Shocker :D

Dendot
12th May 2006, 08:57 PM
"I DIED", said the Rabbit.

"NO!" said the barman,"what from".

After a short pause. The rabbit said...



"Mixin'-me-toasties".

Which reminds me of the story of the publican who had a dog named Rover Rover was a real character and all the regulars loved him. He did tricks and was always entertaining.
One sad day, Rover died and the pub was in mourning. It just wasn't the same without him. One day one of the locals suggested they have awhip round and have him stuffed and mounted in a case. However, times were hard and when they told the taxidermist how much they had collected, he laughed.
"That would just about pay for the tail!" he said, so they said "O.K.! Do that. just mount the tail on a plaque and we'll hang it in the bar"
The taxidermist duly did just that and everyone would raise a glass to old Rover as they drank.
Some years passed and one night, the publican was going to bed when he saw a ghostly apparition.
"What's that?" he cried, but the ghost replied, "Don't you recognise me? I am Rover, your old mate"
"What are you doing here?" the landlord said, "You ought to be in doggy heaven!"
"That's the problem" he replied " they won't let me in. They say I am not complete; I'm missing a tail"
"Well I don't know what we can do about that." said his master.
"Well I do" said Rover, "The tail is downstairs on the wall. Why don't you just sew it back on? I'm sure they won't notice."
The landlord looked shocked.
"Rover!" he said, "You know me better than that! I've always been a good publican!
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You know I can't re-tail spirits at this time of night!"

goat
12th May 2006, 09:10 PM
now that is bad:D