Workshop signs -

[Rod Smith]

G'day
Heres a coupla signs I've seen in workshops over the years. Please ad some more.

"In god we trust, all others cash"

"The bloke who does love jobs has gone to Queensland and the fella that lends his tools went with him"

"Hourly rate $40, you watch $60, you help $80"

There was one I put up in a place I worked years ago on the RAS with a german tone about not touching the machine, anyone know that one, its hillarious. We had a german working there which made it funnier for all of us except him, he said "thats not German" LOL
Bring em on.
Cheers
Rod

[Iain]

On wifes desk at work:

Production schedule on time.
Customers content and happy with product.
Accounts up to date and no delinquent payments.
Pigs taxi-ing and ready for take off.

And one I was told to take off my desk when working with a never ending stream of whining public servants.

Medical research has evidence that AIDS can be contracted through the ears from listening to A*** HOLES.

Sorry, one more...

If A***holes had wings this place could be an airport.

[This message has been edited by Iain (edited 19 April 2002).]

[This message has been edited by Iain (edited 19 April 2002).]

[Kev Y.]

Rod, is it the sign that says something like "das finger poken ien das mechinen iss forbodden"

[This message has been edited by Brudda (edited 19 April 2002).]

[Eastie]

"Due to continual breakdowns our future workshop will contain automated equipment and a guard dog.
Chippies will feed the equipment, I will feed the dog and the dog will attack any bastard who tries to repair/fix/alter any of my machinery !"

[Rod Smith]

Brudda, very much like that, do you know the rest?

"Sackings will continue until morale improves"

Cheers
Rod

Thanks for the laughs

[RETIRED]

Not in a workshop but on a fence around a paddock that had the best mushies.

The bull can cover the paddock in 45 seconds, can you?

------------------
Ian () Robertson
"We do good turns every day"

[ubeaut]

Sign on a watermelon patch in WA
1 of these melons has been poisoned.
The 1 was crossed out and changed to a 2.
------------------------------
Signs in my old workshop.
Workshop Rules
Rule 1/ The boss is always right.
Rule 2/ If the boss is wrong see Rule 1.
Rule 3/ If you can prove the boss is wrong see Rule 4 or Rule 1
Rule 4/ YOU'RE FIRED

The impossible we do immediately.
Miracles take a little longer.
------------------------------
Sign on a bikies T shirt.
If you can read this, the bitch has falen off.

[JackoH]

On the back window of a 4W.D. Seen only this morning:- " If You Can Read This I've Lost My Bloody Caravan"

[Kev Y.]

"Dicero Illegitimi Nihil"
Loy Yang Power Drinking Team Stubbie Holder.

Translation: Tell the Bastards Nothing.

I think it was aimed at the managment.

[bobmundy]

This house is guarded by shotgun three nights per week - you guess which nights!


* * * * * *


I've been in jail for fighting'
It's a process that I hate.
But I'll go to jail for murder,
If you don't shut this bloody gate...

[AlexS]

Seen on a tee shirt around the classics dept of a university...
Bibere plus urina

Drink more p*ss

[soundman]

usefull saying when the work shop radio gets tuned to tripple J


If music is fine food then that is a vomit sandwitch.

[Shane Watson]

I like that one Soundman! http://ubb.ubeaut.com.au/ubb/biggrin.gif I had an apprentice working for me who was forever changing the damn radio to JJJ whenever I turned my back.....

[Rod Smith]

I worked in a workshop years ago and was forced to listen to triple j all day, although I did change it when they started playing (c)rap. In the end I actual enjoyed it , mostly. It is now my no 1 station though R and B (new name for c rap) forces me elsewhere. I just can't stand the ads on commercial radio and the endless repeats of old classics. I mean, "heard it through the grapevine" 4 times a day is just tooooooo much for me. There is a lot of great new music if you can stand a few crap ones inbetween, though I usually find them better than the inane advertisements.
Cheers
Rod

[cliff cook]

An oldy but a goody
Think before you talk,
Talk before you act,
Act before the barstards change their mind.
cooky

[JackoH]

Seen on a T-Shirt recently.:- Rich Boys Have Bigger Toys. But They Still Die!

[Eastie]

Another:

WorkSafe has determined that the maximum safe load capacity on my ass is two people at one time, unless I install handrails or harness points. As you are the sixth person to want to ride my ass today please take a ticket and wait your turn.

[soundman]

Sign over the counter of the BLIBLI general store circa 1968
Dont ask for credit he's dead!!

[Bazza]

I am always in the , only the depth varies.

[AlexS]

The hurrier I go, the behinder I get

[Bushrat]

Rod,
Sign seen on a car in Port Douglas

" The only true wilderness is found between a greenies ears"

"Give Polititions simple directions -- Off"
Cheers
Bushie
Everyday above the dirt is a good one

[Red neck]

Rod,

Is this what you were looking for?


ACHTUNG
Das machine ist nicht fur gerfingenpoken und mitten grabben, ist easy schnappen der springenwork, blowen fusem and poppen corkon mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gerwerken by das dummkopker. Und rubben necken sightseerem keepem hands in das pockets, relaxen, und vatch das blinken lights.


RN

[Rod Smith]

Thanks RN
Thats the one. Welcome and congratulations on your first post!
Cheers
Rod

[ubeaut]

Everywhere I go,
There I am.

[Rod Smith]

Me 3. LOL