Gino
7th July 2001, 12:15 AM
Top 15 Best Lies to Tell on Your Resume
1.
Great attention to detlais.
2.
I was the webmaster for the National Security Administration intranet. (I can't show you my work - it's classified.)
3.
Patented Inventions: Three (the nature of which cannot be disclosed due to the Atomic Energy Act of 1954, as amended).
4.
Programming Languages: Clock, VCR, VCR+.
5.
Speak COBOL, lived there for years.
6.
"I'm a real team player" or "I enjoy working with others." Leave out, "but only if I'm team captain" and "despite their obvious inferiority."
7.
I tell people I was in prison to avoid admitting some of the places I used to work.
8.
Your CPA test results. Nobody but you really knows what the score was since all the board ever publishes is who passes.
9.
10 years experience with Java.
10.
I once said I used to work for Lucille Ball.
11.
I worked for three companies that no longer exist. As I recall, I was on the really fast track.
12.
"I want to work in a team-building environment that will allow me expand on the skills I have learned, while providing the best service for employer, customers, and my team."
13.
My body converts toxic waste into penicillin, and I invented wool.
14.
"Dealt with U.S. tax and tariff laws in importation process"...we "dealt " with them by sticking our product in a giant duffel bag and not telling customs.
15.
I like my current job. I am leaving to get new challenges.
1.
Great attention to detlais.
2.
I was the webmaster for the National Security Administration intranet. (I can't show you my work - it's classified.)
3.
Patented Inventions: Three (the nature of which cannot be disclosed due to the Atomic Energy Act of 1954, as amended).
4.
Programming Languages: Clock, VCR, VCR+.
5.
Speak COBOL, lived there for years.
6.
"I'm a real team player" or "I enjoy working with others." Leave out, "but only if I'm team captain" and "despite their obvious inferiority."
7.
I tell people I was in prison to avoid admitting some of the places I used to work.
8.
Your CPA test results. Nobody but you really knows what the score was since all the board ever publishes is who passes.
9.
10 years experience with Java.
10.
I once said I used to work for Lucille Ball.
11.
I worked for three companies that no longer exist. As I recall, I was on the really fast track.
12.
"I want to work in a team-building environment that will allow me expand on the skills I have learned, while providing the best service for employer, customers, and my team."
13.
My body converts toxic waste into penicillin, and I invented wool.
14.
"Dealt with U.S. tax and tariff laws in importation process"...we "dealt " with them by sticking our product in a giant duffel bag and not telling customs.
15.
I like my current job. I am leaving to get new challenges.