star bright

[Gino]

The Lone Ranger and Tonto are camping in the desert, set up their tent and
are asleep.
Some hours later, The Lone Ranger wakes his faithful friend.

"Tonto, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Tonto replies, "Me see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?" asks The Lone Ranger.

Tonto ponders for a minute.
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies
and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and
insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What it tell you, Kemo Sabi?"

The Lone Ranger is silent for a moment, then speaks:
"Tonto, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent!"

[Iain]

Followed by Roy Rogers who was on his way home and meets the cavalry.
Hi! says Roy, hows it going?
We have bad news for you Roy, says the captain, the indians have burnt your house to the ground, Roy is devestated, and they have killed all your livestock. This causes Roy some real grief, and they have burnt all your crops and scalped your children and raped your wife.
Roy is really depressed and says 'well, i'de better be off now'. The captain replies, before you go Roy, how about a song.