Five Thumbs
18th February 2006, 10:49 PM
Lady Penelope Popham-Smythe visited Dr Nigel Mainwaring at his Harley Street rooms. The conversation went like this.
LPP-S. My dear Mainwaring I have a socially embarrassing habit.
Dr NM. Really? (raises his eyebrows)
LPP-S. Yes, I have started farting more often than usual. Of course they are both silent and odourless but I would like you to prescribe something to stop this embarrassing habit.
Dr NM. Of course Lady Penelope. Here take this prescription, follow the instructions and come back in a week.
One week later
LPP-S. Well Mainwaring those tablets were a fat lot of good. One is now farting like a brewery horse and the noise sends the fox-hounds whimpering behind the chiffonier. At least the farts are still odourless.
Dr NM. Ah, good we have fixed your hearing difficulties now we can start on your sinuses.
LPP-S. My dear Mainwaring I have a socially embarrassing habit.
Dr NM. Really? (raises his eyebrows)
LPP-S. Yes, I have started farting more often than usual. Of course they are both silent and odourless but I would like you to prescribe something to stop this embarrassing habit.
Dr NM. Of course Lady Penelope. Here take this prescription, follow the instructions and come back in a week.
One week later
LPP-S. Well Mainwaring those tablets were a fat lot of good. One is now farting like a brewery horse and the noise sends the fox-hounds whimpering behind the chiffonier. At least the farts are still odourless.
Dr NM. Ah, good we have fixed your hearing difficulties now we can start on your sinuses.