Baz
5th February 2006, 07:43 PM
The Army found they had too many Officers and decided to offer an early
retirement bonus.
They promised any Officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000
for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his
body.
The Officer got to choose what those two points would be.
The first Officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of
his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out
with a bonus of $72,000.
The second Officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be
measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out
with $96,000.
The third one, a non-commissioned Officer, was grizzly old Warrant Officer who, when
asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my weenie
to my testicles."
It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider,
explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two officers had
received. But the old WO insisted and they decided to go along with him,
providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.
The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the WO to "drop 'em," which he
did.
The Medical Officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the WO's weenie
and began to work back.
"My G~d!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"
The old WO calmly replied . . . . . "Vietnam."
retirement bonus.
They promised any Officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000
for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his
body.
The Officer got to choose what those two points would be.
The first Officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of
his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out
with a bonus of $72,000.
The second Officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be
measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out
with $96,000.
The third one, a non-commissioned Officer, was grizzly old Warrant Officer who, when
asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my weenie
to my testicles."
It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider,
explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two officers had
received. But the old WO insisted and they decided to go along with him,
providing the measurement was taken by a Medical Officer.
The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the WO to "drop 'em," which he
did.
The Medical Officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the WO's weenie
and began to work back.
"My G~d!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"
The old WO calmly replied . . . . . "Vietnam."