Hair Cuts

[Neo]

Hair Cuts


Woman1: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!
Woman2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?
Woman1: Oh God no! No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.
Woman2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable, and you could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that was afraid it would accent my long neck.
Woman1: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder line.
Woman2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms - see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.........


Men's version:

Man1: Haircut?
Man2: Yeah.

[bennylaird]

What hair?

Shave it all off.

[Iain]

My standard responses:

Have a haircut"

No thanks, just had one
or
No, just washed it and it shrunk

[silentC]

I don't think I've ever asked another bloke if he's had a haircut.

I used to get "he paid for a haircut with a hole in it". Har de har. So funny :rolleyes:

:D

[Christopha]

Vot is dis thing "Haircutz"??? Plis?? Gum to sink abowd id, vot is "Hair"??????

[Daddles]

Father: Had a hair cut I see son.
Son: Yeah.
Father: Next time, ask him to stand a bit closer :D

Richard

[Termite]

What can you say about a No 2. apart from what DarrylF said when he saw mine "What the .... have you done to your hair". :rolleyes:

[silentC]

No 2.?? You long-haired git!!

[Termite]

No 2.?? You long-haired git!!
....and good looking too. :rolleyes:

[silentC]

I gave my boy a number 2 haircut on Monday. He reckons it's 'cool man!!' Don't have the heart to tell him it's because he had nits :eek:

[Wood Borer]

I thought I saw a flake of dandruff the other day - beat that. I had a smile on my face for the rest of the day.:)

[Wongo]

I have been doing my own hair cut for the past 13 years. Yes it is just me, a clipper and a mirror. Why pay someone $5 when you get it done for free?

Now you know why I wear baseball cap all the time.:o But seriously I am pretty good at it now.:cool:

[Cliff Rogers]

...been doing my own hair cut for the past 13 years....

Sounds like bad luck to me. :D

[Harry72]

5 bucks you reckon... where you been?
Even a basic cut cost $12-15... my last cost me 55!

[Cliff Rogers]

$55 for a haircut :eek: struth ruth, get a grip...... that'd buy a whole years haircuts for me. (4 :D )

[Driver]

Drill Sergeant: (standing behind recruit) AM I HURTING YOU, SON?

Recruit: No Sergeant (?)

Drill Segeant: I MUST BE - BECAUSE I'M STANDING ON YOUR HAIR!

Recruit: What do you mean, Sergeant?

Drill Sergeant: GERDYERAIRCARD!!!

[Iain]

I remember those haircuts from rookies, no wonder the local sheilas didn't want to know you.
The only others who had a similar cut were residents from local asylums.

[bennylaird]

Hair is overrated, everyone tells me I look younger with none. Must have been the nearly white tufts sticking out from behind my ears that made me look even more decrepit.

Please guys, avoid the comb over, your fooling no one.

[Iain]

Please guys, avoid the comb over, your fooling no one.
I don't have to, although I must admit the most luxuriant growth is between the nose and the upper lip.

[Daddles]

I don't have to, although I must admit the most luxuriant growth is between the nose and the upper lip.

You shouldn't let your nose hair get that long Iain :eek: - cripes, you can't even comb it out so it looks like a moustache :D

Richard

[bennylaird]

I can't grow a moustache and the only hair I have to comb over would have to be very long lol.

[Wongo]

$5?? Yeah it was 13 years ago in our local barber (not the girly saloon or hair gallery:D ). $10 for adults and $5 for students.

[silentC]

Gowings had a $5 dollar haircut as little as 6 years ago....

[Wongo]

... and if I had to pay someone for a hair cut I would rather pay it to a proper man. None of those half man half something else hair artist or hair consultant.:D

“Hiiii darling, you look super today”:o

[Neo]

In 1993, we were poor as buggery newlyweds trying to save for a house and I suggested to my lovely SWMBO that we should invest $69.95 in a set of clippers so I wouldn't have to shell out for haircuts anymore. I copped an earful and sheepishly left the scene before I was monstered for something else.

About a week later she comes in with her hair permed and coloured so I asked how much, '$72' was the reply. So I let loose with my own torrent of expletives and went out that day to purchase said clippers. Even after doing my hair every 4 weeks for the last 13 years plus cutting hundreds of heads of hair in Somalia, they're still going strong - infact she cut my hair with them last night (topless to boot Woo Hoo!!!) Haven't paid for a haircut since.

Nuf said.

[bennylaird]

If I grow some hair back will she cut mine for me????????????:D :D :D

[Neo]

Come off the grass bennylaird!!!

T'was my first topless cut for 2 1/2 years - they're so few and far between that I'm not sharing my meagre allocation of them with anyone. It only came about because the kids were asleep and she had a new shirt on & didn't want to get hair all over it.

But, just for you and like minded individuals, I'll ask if she'll allow a gallery session. Don't much like your chances though.

Cheers Big Earses

[Wongo]

Exactly Neo, you’ve got it right mate.:cool:

I do one every 3-4 weeks. Cutting your own hair is an art form. It requires a pair of very skilful hands. It is very easy to do the sides but the back is a little bit tricky. These days I can pretty much do it in 5 minutes.

[Iain]

And Wongo does it topless in front of a mirror:D

[Wongo]

No Iain we're talking about first class quality mate.:cool:

[bennylaird]

Ohmygod, he's gone bottomless?

[bennylaird]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.

"I have just the thing," says the barber, taking two small wooden balls from a nearby drawer. "Just place them between your cheek and gum, one for each side."

The client places the balls in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced.

After a few strokes, the client asks in garbled speech, "And what if I swallow one?"

"No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow, like everyone else has."

[Neo]

A bloke, thinning a little on top, walks into the barber shop, waits his turn and then sits in the Barber’s chair. After a bit of chit chat about the weather he asks, ‘Can you recommend a good hair tonic?’

Before the barber can answer another patron pipes up in a very dapper English voice, ‘I’ve always found that vaginal excretions are the best hair tonic.’
Incredulous, the first bloke exclaims, ‘But you’re balder than I am!”
‘Yes,’ he replies lovingly stroking his upper lip, ’But you’ll notice I have a very fine moustache.’

[Auld Bassoon]

I have been doing my own hair cut for the past 13 years. Yes it is just me, a clipper and a mirror. Why pay someone $5 when you get it done for free?

Now you know why I wear baseball cap all the time.:o But seriously I am pretty good at it now.:cool:

A whole $5 - no wonder a DIY job seems good value ;)

[Dan]

Here's one for you. At what stage after a #0 cut do you resume using shampoo?:confused: :D

[ozwinner]

A whole $5 - no wonder a DIY job seems good value ;)

What!! :eek:

Al :eek:

[Daddles]

What!! :eek:

Al :eek:

It's okay Al. This is one of those situations where you just smile and down another pint of rum :D

Richard

[Harry72]

$55 for a haircut :eek: struth ruth, get a grip...... that'd buy a whole years haircuts for me. (4 :D )
Was a little more than a hair cut... yeah got one of those trendy beckem mohawks and got it blonded even more... Im only 21yrs young after all!:eek:

I wish I could just get the clippers onto it... but the SWMBO dont like it because I look like a crim and when it grows back it goes stupid... so I prefer to keep it hand cut with the scissors.

[Groggy]

- infact she cut my hair with them last night (topless to boot Woo Hoo!!!) I found topless haircuts just make me itchy...

I cut my own with the same sort of clippers - everyone says they can tell. Still, going to barbers and asking for a haircut when you're half bald aint the same value as it used to be. As for toupe's etc - why do guys try to cultivate on top what is growing wild around their ar*e?