John Saxton
5th November 2000, 10:12 AM
The husband was furious when he found out the cheque account was empty.When he confronted his wife,she simply said,
"It's my turn."
"What do you mean,your turn?" yelled the husband.
"In bed",she explained you've been making early withdrawals for years.Now its my turn".
and
A young lady came home and told her mother that her boyfriend had proposed but she had turned him down because she found out he was an atheist,and didn't believe in Heaven and Hell.
"Marry him anyway dear,"the mother said."Between the two of us, we'll show him just how wrong he is!"
and
Brenda,pregnant with her first child,was paying a visit to her obstetricians surgery.
After the examination she shyly began,"My husband wants me to ask you...." "I know, I know." the doctor said placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder,"I get asked that all the time.Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy."
"No thats not it at all."Brenda confessed.
"He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn."
and
Now scientists have confirmed that beer actually contains small traces of male..and NOT female..hormones.To prove this theory,the scientists fed 100 women 12 pints of beer each and observed that these women became obsessed with sex but fell asleep long before they could please their partners.
and
Rex's barn burned down and his wife Susan,called the Insurance company.Susan told the Insurance company,"We had that barn insured for $50,000 and I want my money."
The agent replied,"Hey there just a minute Susan.Insurance dosen't quite work like that.We will have to ascertain the value of what was insured and provide you with a new one of comparable worth.
There was a long silence before Susan replied.
"Then I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband."
and
A man wakes his wife up during the night with a glass of water in one hand and two aspirins in the other.
She asks,"Whats this for?"
"This is for your headache,"he says.
She says "But I don't have a headache."
He smiles and says,"Gotcha!"
Cheers")
"It's my turn."
"What do you mean,your turn?" yelled the husband.
"In bed",she explained you've been making early withdrawals for years.Now its my turn".
and
A young lady came home and told her mother that her boyfriend had proposed but she had turned him down because she found out he was an atheist,and didn't believe in Heaven and Hell.
"Marry him anyway dear,"the mother said."Between the two of us, we'll show him just how wrong he is!"
and
Brenda,pregnant with her first child,was paying a visit to her obstetricians surgery.
After the examination she shyly began,"My husband wants me to ask you...." "I know, I know." the doctor said placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder,"I get asked that all the time.Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy."
"No thats not it at all."Brenda confessed.
"He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn."
and
Now scientists have confirmed that beer actually contains small traces of male..and NOT female..hormones.To prove this theory,the scientists fed 100 women 12 pints of beer each and observed that these women became obsessed with sex but fell asleep long before they could please their partners.
and
Rex's barn burned down and his wife Susan,called the Insurance company.Susan told the Insurance company,"We had that barn insured for $50,000 and I want my money."
The agent replied,"Hey there just a minute Susan.Insurance dosen't quite work like that.We will have to ascertain the value of what was insured and provide you with a new one of comparable worth.
There was a long silence before Susan replied.
"Then I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband."
and
A man wakes his wife up during the night with a glass of water in one hand and two aspirins in the other.
She asks,"Whats this for?"
"This is for your headache,"he says.
She says "But I don't have a headache."
He smiles and says,"Gotcha!"
Cheers")